happylife Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Well, they say that the brain is the biggest sex organ in the body and this you have proved to be true. I'm in a different place, i was the one who cheated. Interestingly, maybe like your H, i never had an O with my OM and have never had a problem with my H. it's the guilt i guess. I too cried during sex after my H discovered the A. He wanted to do it the same week and tried really hard to be a fabulous lover as he assumed my OM was. My H and i have always had a good sex life so that wasn't the issue. It was just the realisation that it would never be the same again that upset me so. It has been the biggest regret of my life as although he seems very connected to me and never has problems sexually i feel so guilty and that has been hard to get over. It sounds like your H has been doing everything to reassure you. I think its early days still, i'm sure it wont last.
SidLyon Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 A bit personal but (gulp) here goes... I never had problems having Os with my H. Occasionally I didn't for various reasons but never pretended I did. A few days before d-day I found out that my H was chatting online and he claimed that's all it was. The so called "hysterical bonding" started then. But not before I asked if he had always been physically faithful to me - he lied. I then had the d-day and it was the full works - an A lasting several years, sex workers and dating sites. To my complete surprise neither the "hysterical bonding" ( I really hate that phrase!) nor the Os changed in the slightest. 10 months later we are still trying to reconcile/rebuild our marriage. Our sex life (and Os) continue unabated. It's fair to say that's one area of our life that we do seem to be getting right. It's also the main area we didn't get right after kids came along. Although we also have regular dates, meals together etc. Yesterday we both took the day off work and went to the country having breakfast and lunch there, visiting wineries and gourmet produce places. However in my very first relationship that went for 5 years my then boyfriend cheated in the first few months of the relationship and again at the end. My ability to have easy Os (with him) deserted me at the time of his first infidelity and never ever returned. It was a complete surprise to me again when that ability returned with a later partner. I really expected it would disappear again this time but it didn't. Perhaps because I'm older and wiser now (age 52). I'm also menopausal and have noticed no change whatsoever with that, other than no need for any form of contraception so it's all good in that department too. S
happylife Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 What is 'hysterical bonding'??!!! can someone explain, never heard this before!
freestyle Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 It`s when a couple goes back into "velcro-mode" immediately after the discovery of an affair, and deciding they want to stay together and work it out. They have sex often enough to make a bunny blush, all the while being on a raging emotional rollercoaster.
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