BackonTrack2 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Long story short, relationship ended about 1.5 years ago or 17 months, turns out my ex was a whore and was cheating, i should say expermenting and putting me on the back burner.. anyway for a long time i was messed up, depressed, yada, yada, crying, yada, yada, forget about business, let life mess up and then somehow i started climbing again and now well, i'm back to where i was before everything happen.... only difference is i'm smarter & wisier, sad though i wasted 4 years on that girl, 2 years on the relationship, 1.5 years mourning... anyway... i feel that i am finally forgeting, i no longer wake up with her on the mind, its like it takes about an hour or two to briefly remember in the mornings, then it goes away, before it was everyday non stop thinking about her... this lasted about 1 year and 6 months, but now its going away..... actually i feel good and when it think about that relationship and everything that happen, i have no words, i'm not even sad, disappointed, upset, but sometimes it bothers me... like i can't believe i cared for someone who didn't care about me and i can't believe i let her hurt me like she did but we are all human so its OK, i'll take that loss... anyways the point of this thread is that, i am finally forgetting and its going away, i even actively tell myself to never check her FB Page, or search for her or anything, its like i'm blocking myself from re-living in the past and it feels good.... i think i won't remember in another year or two, i think i won't remember anything and for this, i am so very happy.......i honestly just want to forget now.... i don't want to remember, it burns to much, it bothers me still, slightly... i don't really know why but its like all it does is bring bad memories, i don't even remember the good times anymore.... its all going away now... it has been going away for quite some time but now its different.. now i'm forgeting and not even thinking about it..... come on TIME... TIME BABy was my best friend in all of this! one thing that sticks to mind is when this event first occured and i went on loveshack and i was telling my story, i said something to the effect of "she knew me better than i knew myself" and one person replied and i'll never forget and he or she said "that one line, you need to go NC for a long time" and they were right........ so been nc for about 17 months now, no contact on my end except about a year ago i drunken texted her but other than that complete NC, i rather regret that text now, infact i feel worse about it because i texted her and she never responded but now i've changed my phone number.... its like i am fighting a battle or something, its really weird but i'm still learning..... another 6-8 months, if i keep going at my current pace i won't remember... i just want to somehow speed it up but i can't, i just have to bear the pain and keep going you know in the end, its like she was another person, its like she was with someone and i was like an ex boyfriend. it was really bizaree, i never seen anything like that before in my life, people told me "she found love again", i seen everything happen from start to end, i just didn't put two and two together. she didn't even tell me she was with someone or that she had left, its like she was playing with me, playing a game, its like she wanted to keep our relationship alive but in a different way, its like she wanted to explore different men and didn't want to be tide down to me, its like she was using me for money, that girl really used me for a sucker... i just want to forget completely now.. I just want to never remember again.
Dmoney28 Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 congrats backontrack, i know its been a long road...a very long one. But you are reaching the end . I totally understand about the forgetting part. sometimes im like " oh snap, i havent thought of her in a couplr hours". But some days are better than others. I know for me, it will be a year next month. I never thought i would see this year mark. So strange....we were so close fo 4 years, now she is like a stranger
Bobby2010 Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 you know in the end, its like she was another person, its like she was with someone and i was like an ex boyfriend. it was really bizaree, i never seen anything like that before in my life, people told me "she found love again", i seen everything happen from start to end, i just didn't put two and two together. she didn't even tell me she was with someone or that she had left, its like she was playing with me, playing a game, its like she wanted to keep our relationship alive but in a different way, Man. I know exactly how you feel. Too well actually. I was missing her like crazy, and we were still "together". She insisted everything was cool, but it was all part of her little game. She was in a new relationship, lying to me for months. I even had visions in my head of seeing her holding hands with another guy around the end, it was insane. I drove myself crazy. I'm glad to hear you are feeling better, and starting to forget. I can't wait to be at that stage. I'm passed the regret/guilt stage at least, I'm in full blown anger mode. What's after this? Take care.
Lish Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Congratulations! you're almost there now... time to start living life again, ya?
dashing daisy Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I am really happy for you. You've done so great keeping up NC for that long. And it's working, and you are healing. That is wonderful.
Author BackonTrack2 Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Congratulations! you're almost there now... time to start living life again, ya? I couldn't agree with this statement any more. You know honestly, I really have no words to respond with. Its not even worth any brain space to think about what happen, it happen and thats life....... So, I think I am going to have to retire this site as well... This is pretty much the last reminder of anything linked to that relationship and what happen. You know I am starting to think my ex was right, most of the thing's she said in the end were dead on... I will end it like this 'This is your first real relationship, I am going to remember you long after you have forgotton me" and as I write this I sometimes think maybe she said that to NOT hurt my feelings but I think the whore was right in that regard. Another 6 months I won't remember, I can feel it happening already. Healing time for me so far is 18 months. Total time to forget I am guessing 24 months or 2 years... Longer than normal but I'm almost there :-)
EmperorR Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Hey good to see, been a year now for me an I barely think of the cheat, time heals for sure And yes as you said nc is the best, sep 15 will be one whole year I haven't had any contact with my ex. Have a néw number email address so I don't have to worry about her ever trying to contact me again
WiseOne1 Posted September 1, 2009 Posted September 1, 2009 Man thats good news, I really congratulate you, you stuck in there with NC and its paying off, your in a much better position than me, you know the past I had with my ex, and I just now am on 4 weeks str8 NC, yea I got alongggggggg way to go. I guess im good though, 4 weeks is the longest I ever been on NC with my ex, so I guess im making a improvement.
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