dashing daisy Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I just want it to stop hurting... Is there anything that makes this better?? What is wrong with me?? I can't believe losing one thing could hurt this much.
icyness Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 *hugs* I'm sorry sweetie. I wish there was some instant relief for us all. I don't even know how to get through the pain anymore..I just go from minute to minute as if a robot sometimes in order to numb myself from it all. It will get better...it has to. xo
Cora Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 There is nothing wrong with you. You are just hurting and grieving over what you have lost. There is no real quick fix for this. You just have to go through the process of healing. It takes time, but in time you will start to get better day by day. The biggest thing that helped me was being around people....friends, family etc. Being alone all the time is the worst. You will just think and obsess and cry over and over again. I know being around people is probably the last thing you want right now, but sometimes what you want the least is what can help you the most. So try not to be by yourself too much. It's good to get a good cry in every now and then. Just as long as you don't let it take control of you. Hang in there and big hugs to you!!
Author dashing daisy Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 Thank you icyness. *hugs* I am sorry that you are hurting too. I am just trying to keep busy, and give myself the chance to cry sometimes..I wish I could tell you how to get through the pain. I know it has to get better some time, it can't go on forever, right? So I guess it is our job now to keep on moving... They say time heals everything, but I am not finding that very comforting. Time seems to move too slowly when you are in pain. I kind of want to fast forward through this part. Still trying to find the life remote. Thanks Cora. I think you are right, being around people is helpful, but sometimes it is so hard. I can feel that it is getting better, but then sometimes I just want to cry again. I am trying to keep busy, and not think about him... but then I will hear a song, or see something that reminds me and I feel like I'm back at the beginning. Just missing us. I know I will be okay, in my head I know I will get through this...but my heart isn't there yet. I feel like I gave him a piece of it, and he just decided one day to throw it back, and I wasn't prepared to catch it so it just fell and broke. Maybe that sounds lame, but it's how I feel. Like if maybe there was some warning this would have been easier to take. But I can't change the past... Thank you for your kind reply and big hugs back. It means a lot to me.
dianna Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Many hugs dear. My heart aches, I feel like it literaly breaks when Im crying and my eyes are sore and hurt."Glad" im not alone........
Author dashing daisy Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 Hugs to you Dianna. I am so sorry you are going through this too, but thank you for your thoughts. I thought I'd feel better in the morning, but I wake up wanting to cry. I think the worst part is if there was anything I needed to cry about, I would have wanted him to be the one holding me... But instead he's the one who is making me cry.
icyness Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I just want to cry for you when I read how bad you're hurting Daisy. That is indeed a horrible twisted feeling..normally in our time of need and despair, this person was the one to comfort us and put everything at ease. Now we're on the other end of it and breaking down because of them, it's not fair. I remember one of the long emails I first sent to him after the break-up. I was struggling with words in attempt to get some of what I was feeling across to him like we all do at some point. I remember saying "I feel as if I'm naked in a completely darkened room with no windows or doors to get out." It was the best way I could describe it, and even that wasn't enough. I think one of the most frustrating things for us is we feel they just don't hear us. If they would at least hear us out and try to understand. It seems they just don't care though, and callously allow our pain to go unheard. So we go on having to battle ourselves and our own feelings since they want no part of it..even though they're the ones who caused it.
adamt Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Hugs to you Dianna. I am so sorry you are going through this too, but thank you for your thoughts. I thought I'd feel better in the morning, but I wake up wanting to cry. I think the worst part is if there was anything I needed to cry about, I would have wanted him to be the one holding me... But instead he's the one who is making me cry. It will get better as i have been where you are now only a couple of months ago. I remember that feeling of waking up and for a second you have forgotten you have split up then you remember and it hurts again. You want to cry on their shoulder and have a big hug but you can't. It is horrible feeling but it does get better.
Author dashing daisy Posted August 29, 2009 Author Posted August 29, 2009 Thanks adamt. I am really trying to believe it will get better...I mean I guess part of me knows it will, but it feels so horrible right now. I remember saying "I feel as if I'm naked in a completely darkened room with no windows or doors to get out." It was the best way I could describe it, and even that wasn't enough. I think one of the most frustrating things for us is we feel they just don't hear us. If they would at least hear us out and try to understand. It seems they just don't care though, and callously allow our pain to go unheard. So we go on having to battle ourselves and our own feelings since they want no part of it..even though they're the ones who caused it. Oh icyness I know exactly what you mean, and I'm so sorry you felt that way. It's just such a hard feeling to describe...and the one person you really want and need to understand and be there is just gone... It scares me how much this hurts. When in my head I know so many people have had it worse, hell I've been through "worse". It's like this ache that wants to come out of me, but I can't scream or even cry hard enough. I'm afraid I won't get over this, I'm even afraid I will. I know it brought me a lot of happiness, but right now, how much this hurts, I wish I never met him...
adamt Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Hang in there. It will get better slowly. I woke this saturday morning and felt sad because I felt the sudden feeling that i wish she was lying here next to me. Someone to talk to first thing in the morning and have a sleep in. It feels a bit lonely and i feel a bit lost this morning. Then i feel the fool for missing the months of warning signs that she was detaching from the relationship. Then i wonde rif she is with anyne else yet. Wish i could get the old ex back, why did she start to change. Why didnt she talk to me sooner if she wasnt happy with things. She wanted to buy a house together and were planning to do that. Feels like she pulled the rug from underneath me. Anyway reality is she isnt coming back. I'll get through this moment of sadness. I get the feeling i wont get over her fully until I have found someone else to concentrate on. Unfortunately there is no quick fix, we all still have our bad days.We jsut have to take it day by day. I used to love chilling out and having lazy days. Now i hate them, i have to be doing something to take my mind off her. I honestly didnt think it would be this hard. But i will get through it. So we all know what each other are going through
Meaplus3 Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 So sorry your hurting Dasiy. I've been there so I know how it feels. You know the best thing you can do is to give it time. I am a firm believer in the saying "Time heals all wounds". Try and keep that in mind. And do stay in NO contact mode. That will allow you the peace of mind to get over this hurt and pain much quicker. My best to you. Keep your chin up and stay strong. Mea:)
Solear Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 its been a month now, ive contacted her for full explanations but she wont give me them. so i stopped trying, i sent her an email last wednesday to tell her how i felt. Im trying my hardest to do the no contact thing, but i keep walking past her mums house waiting for her to walk out. just so i can see her. Im so sad its untrue.
Losing Faith Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I hope you are doing better Daisy. I am so sorry for your pain, but keep telling yourself that IT WILL GET BETTER! I don't know if the heartbreak gets worse the older you get, or maybe I just fell in love with this last guy more then anyone before. But I physically felt the hurt when he left. I am like you... in my mind, I know I'm going to be ok. But my heart literally aches! It's been a month and half for me, and it has gotten better.. but it does still hurt. Take care of yourself and be good to yourself right now. Be around people who love you, try to get sleep, eat well, be active, stay away from alcohol (it's a depressant). If it's tough to be around friends and family cause they ask about your ex... then maybe sign up to volunteer by yourself, where no one knows you and isn't going to ask you about your ex. Then you'll feel good about helping others too. Or go for a nice long walk through to mall where your mind will be distracted (and may be find good sales ). Keep your mind distracted always helps. But it will get better. have faith!
Losing Faith Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I woke this saturday morning and felt sad because I felt the sudden feeling that i wish she was lying here next to me. Someone to talk to first thing in the morning and have a sleep in. It feels a bit lonely and i feel a bit lost this morning. I used to love chilling out and having lazy days. Now i hate them, i have to be doing something to take my mind off her. I honestly didnt think it would be this hard. But i will get through it. So we all know what each other are going through Admt... I know what your feeling. I was so happy being a home-body when he was here with me. I wake up so lonely now... wishing he was still beside, wrapped in his arms, talking with him. Weekends are the worse now... I can't find a reason to get out of bed most of the time.
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