ryanrabl Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Sooo..my ex-fiancee of 2 years dumped me about 4 months ago and i am pretty much over it...apparently she has as well (as she has a boyfriend).I just started my Senior year at UCLA and my God....there are beautiful women everywhere.I am not the shy type..but i don't know how too approach somebody without being awkward.How do i know if she has a man without making a fool of myself? So my question is directed at women. 1)How would you like too be approached when a man introduces himself? 2)What is the first thing you observe/take note of a man? Thank you guys soo much!!
butcher's hook Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Best approach for me is with a smile and some reference to something we are experiencing at the moment. Not a "hello my name is..." that's pointelss who cares what your name is unless you are about to sell her something, ie. yourself. That's tacky. Example: this morning I am at the coffee shop down from my work getting a coffee and waiting for my english muffin and a guy in line keeps checking me out. I go put milk in my coffee and I see he is still looking at me. Then I return to pick up the english muffin he is also waiting for his breakfast and the woman puts down on the counter one order in a bag already wrapped up, he grabs it and says to the lady "is this mine?" and then he looks at me and says "you'd better have ordered something I like in case I got yours instead" and he smiles at me. Of course I laugh, it was a funny comment and had I been single I could have used that as good opportunity to make small talk with him but it ended there with a quick laugh on my part, and a "well I hope I like your breakfast choice too then" Those are the best "pick ups". Casual, totally not trying but at the same time using a good opportunity to test the waters. Now the only reason I know that was a pick up is because he kept checking me out, had I not seen him it was just some small talk happening in line at the coffee bar, no biggie. Smart guy.
AlektraClementine Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 So my question is directed at women. 1)How would you like too be approached when a man introduces himself? 2)What is the first thing you observe/take note of a man? Thank you guys soo much!! 1) With humor. Something ironic like using one of those horribly cheesy pick-up lines would totally work on me. Example - "I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?" If you score, walk away. Walk away. Don't continue with idle chit chat. After a number score, walk. Leave her in an amused state. 2) His confidence. Note- I don't mean cocky.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I think Butcher's hook got it right. I like being approached in that way as well. Naturally, not cheesy, shows me he thinks of me as a human being. I guess the first thing I notice about a man is his eyes. And it's not in a way of seeing if he has pretty eyes. But certain messages can be given through the eyes. If he looks kind or not.
Un-Conventional Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I feel the same way ryan, except I actually am a shy person and I never really ever approach random girls, but I'm about to start (sink or swim style) becuase at the rate im going imma be alone, and I know how the game works "Man Approaches Woman, PERIOD" so I have to just get over my fear. But like there isn't always gonna be some situation where he say same something catchy or observant about the environment like the example by butcher or maybe the guy isn't witty/fast enough to come up with something clever like that, I mean its only a english muffin and that takes only like a minute to prepare, so that's the timeframe he has to work with before u walk out of his life. And why does it come off so bad if the guy just comes up introduces himself, say you look attractive/pretty/gorgeous/whatever compliment, maybe tell a joke and just ask for you number/out on a date? And I ask this because that was pretty much what I was planning on doing in my whole sink or swim approach but if ain't gonna get me anywhere I'm fresh outta ideas. And to be honest I feel like women take the whole getting approach situation for granted because its definitely the ultimate compliment.
butcher's hook Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 And why does it come off so bad if the guy just comes up introduces himself, say you look attractive/pretty/gorgeous/whatever compliment, maybe tell a joke and just ask for you number/out on a date? Oh no no no that's the entirely wrong approach. Look we suspect you are trying to pick us up, you KNOW you are, but to come right out and say "hey I am John and I want your number" just seems too desperate and if she is not available or not interested it leaves you right out in the cold with a big fat failure PLUS you blew your cover that you were trying to pick her up. there is no doubt on her part you WERE trying to pick her up. Now, if you just approach her casually and make a conversation with her and see where it goes, that helps you save face in the long run. It won't be as scary to approach women. I can imagine it's not easy to approach women cold turkey like that so why make it even harder for yourself by setting yourself up to fail? If you make it conversational, funny, friendly you test the waters. If she is interested she will respond in kind if not she will snub you in which case you can move on and no harm done. So? Big deal so you made some comment about how good the soup she ordered looked, it's not like you were trying to pick her up, you just really liked the Minestroni soup she ordered. Right? Riiiiiight!
AlektraClementine Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 And to be honest I feel like women take the whole getting approach situation for granted because its definitely the ultimate compliment. It's absolutely a compliment. But the original post is asking for what works. You do want it to work, don't you? I only assume.
Un-Conventional Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Right I see what your saying and yeah if I can make a small convo out of the situation would be the best possible scenario no doubt. And yeah 99.999% of the time yes we are trying to pick you up, you know it and we know that you know it, lol. And alektra I definitely want what works.
butcher's hook Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Right I see what your saying and yeah if I can make a small convo out of the situation would be the best possible scenario no doubt. And yeah 99.999% of the time yes we are trying to pick you up, you know it and we know that you know it, lol. . :laugh: Exactly! We know and you know and everyone knows, but we (females) don't know for sure for sure, if you do it the casual way! Judging from experience on what's worked on me what has not the direct approach was just too desperate. I had a guy follow me into a store once and tell me flat out he thought I was beautiful and all the crap they say to all women, (and it does come off as crap and insincere sorry) and then he just flat out asks for my number because HE would like to take me out. Ok fine, I am glad he is very ballsy and HE finds me "beatufiul" and HE wants my number, and HE wants to take me out, but "I" found that to be too desperate and player-like and so "I" was not interested. Be careful of that women don't like being approached in a cheesy way, cheesy funny like Alektra suggested corny pick up lines, great! Anything funny works on me instantly, but that's just me some women can be really bitchy that way..
BCCA Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 How speical would anyone feel if the only reason youre talking to them is how they look? Granted, women realize that if a guy talks to them, he at least thinks they are cute, but by talking to them like a normal person, and not a piece of meat, you can at least establish some common ground. Ive walked up to women who I thought were really cute, and I talked to them for about 5 minutes and realized we had nothing in common, and left. Had I asked for her number, and gone out with her, it would have been a complete waste. And women are used to guys hitting on them because theyre pretty, and they are used to compliments, and guys walking on egg shells. Be unique, stand out, be different, be funny, etc... At the same time, have enough cahonies to take rejection like a man, and dont let it hold you down. Just approach women like you just want to get to know who they are and go from there. Most people arent compatible, but you just have to take a chance.
bluewolf17 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I think the best approach is just conversational. Talking about the music playing, or a certain book..blah blah. No liners! And if a women makes conversation back, then continue. If she gets quiet and just smiles, or doesn't..back away. What do I notice first? That's hard to say. I like humor with a touch..just a touch of vulnerability. And a great smile.
caramel c Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I always admire a man who approaches me, or a friend of mine to talk. Right off the bat, it shows some courage and that is appealing. It doesn't matter a whole lot what he says, a simple introduction is fine, followed by light conversation about whatever is happening around us. I'll know very soon if I am interested in seeing him again if he asks. I prefer not to be told I am attractive (its akward and it can be saved for later). A compliment is great, but just not 'youre so beautiful' - I just don't know what to say to that. Sexual humor is off limits, that to me is just disrespectful for the first time you meet someone. Otherwise, pretty much anything goes. If you make me laugh thats a definite plus!
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