raven1 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I know this may seem like an odd question but I am not overly bitter, but would like to get some satisfaction from it. 1) Do I tell that I know that he is cheating on me and then show him the proof? 2) Do I play with him a bit and say its either me or her (I am still leaving) make him sweat a bit, think that he still has a chance (possibly if he breaks it off with her) and then leave him. 3) Do I just get my stuff out of there and leave the e-mails that I found? He is a chronic cheater 2 of his ex's confirmed this me. Any other suggestions are welcome!
vox Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I think you should probably be less concerned with satisfaction at trying to make him feel bad and concern yourself more with shoring yourself up mentally and emotionally now. Why not just leave, NC, and go about putting yourself back together, working out, eating better, reconnecting with friends, rediscovering life. If he's a cheater, he won't care. He won't get jealous. You'll just hurt yourself more because he can't be hurt. Living well, and thriving are the best tools you have.
New Again Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I think you should probably be less concerned with satisfaction at trying to make him feel bad and concern yourself more with shoring yourself up mentally and emotionally now. Why not just leave, NC, and go about putting yourself back together, working out, eating better, reconnecting with friends, rediscovering life. If he's a cheater, he won't care. He won't get jealous. You'll just hurt yourself more because he can't be hurt. Living well, and thriving are the best tools you have. Exactly. Very well said. If I were you, I would follow this advice. As far as an actual break up, either just tell him you found whatever it was you found and so you're leaving, then leave and NC. Or, just leave the emails up so he knows you saw them, leave, and NC. As vox said though, this guy doesn't care, so there's no point in trying to play games with him before you dump him. Just do it.
Author raven1 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 Thanks for the advice. I am in good shape, run 4-5 a day and eat well now so I am okay with that part. Emotionally I am healing as he is gone for a week. Quite honestly I will probably miss the sex more than anything else!!
MichiganMan222 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I like option 3. Leave emails up, leave and never look back. And don't worry about the sex, the next guy you find will most certainty be willing to have it with you
Quest Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Hi Raven: I think the main thing is just to get out, as quickly as possible. Leaving the emails can't do any harm although I agree with the other posters, it probably won't bother him all that much - he's operating under a different moral code from you, unfortunately.
Author raven1 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 Quest: Thanks and nice to see you here answering my post! Just don't want him to do this to another gal....you know. He has done it to 2 of in the past me being the 3rd. He has been super attentive tonight calling me annoyingly so. He is on the west coast me the east coast...I am avoiding him.
Javelin Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I know this may seem like an odd question but I am not overly bitter, but would like to get some satisfaction from it. 1) Do I tell that I know that he is cheating on me and then show him the proof? 2) Do I play with him a bit and say its either me or her (I am still leaving) make him sweat a bit, think that he still has a chance (possibly if he breaks it off with her) and then leave him. 3) Do I just get my stuff out of there and leave the e-mails that I found? He is a chronic cheater 2 of his ex's confirmed this me. Any other suggestions are welcome! Why even bother? Just pack your things and leave. You're waayy too good for him anyway.
hummingbird Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Quest: Thanks and nice to see you here answering my post! Just don't want him to do this to another gal....you know. He has done it to 2 of in the past me being the 3rd. He has been super attentive tonight calling me annoyingly so. He is on the west coast me the east coast...I am avoiding him. Sorry Raven! but, you are now better off .... a respectful man will not do this to you.... you might consider helping him share his wonderful trait on womansavers.com. It is a very useful tool! all the best
MichiganMan222 Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I think there is some usefulness of leaving the emails up. If nothing is done or said, he may be thick enough to wonder (not knowing for certain) what happened, and may make efforts to track you down. The emails are a simple way of explaining why you left so he doesn't come asking and avoiding any unpleasant conversation explaining things.
Quest Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Quest: Thanks and nice to see you here answering my post! Just don't want him to do this to another gal....you know. He has done it to 2 of in the past me being the 3rd. He has been super attentive tonight calling me annoyingly so. He is on the west coast me the east coast...I am avoiding him. Hi Raven: I agree it would be good if he could be prevented from cheating on yet another girl. I suppose if you say something about it he might think twice about doing it again but there is no guarantee, unfortunately. I just think you need to put yourself first and the less you have to do with him now the better. Good luck! You deserve somebody much more respectful.
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