Jexranger Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Well basically my girlfriend broke up with me because she feels I don't trust her, but she still says I'm her best friend and that she still loves me a lot, she also said she doesn't want me to stop speaking to her and not to ignore her, I love this girl more then anything in the world, but she says she's not going to change her mind, I really don't know what to do since I want her back :/ Advice would be appreciated.
Lish Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 She's clearly talking rubbish - you're not together anymore. She's got no right to ask ANYTHING of you, which includes staying in contact with her.
RouRou Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Well basically my girlfriend broke up with me because she feels I don't trust her, but she still says I'm her best friend and that she still loves me a lot, she also said she doesn't want me to stop speaking to her and not to ignore her, I love this girl more then anything in the world, but she says she's not going to change her mind, I really don't know what to do since I want her back :/ Advice would be appreciated. Why does she feel you dont trust her?
callingyouuu Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 She's clearly talking rubbish - you're not together anymore. She's got no right to ask ANYTHING of you, which includes staying in contact with her. I agree. She's being completely selfish expecting you to just hang around and be a friend when you want more from her. She wants to break up, but doesn't want to have to deal with the consequences. My advice? Well at the very least, take her for her word. She says she won't change her mind, and probably won't right now. Most importantly, decide definitively what YOU want from her, whether you have the heart to stay friends or you'd rather not contact her. If you're willing to stay friends for now, don't put up with her trailing you along by sending mixed signals, or doing any relationship-type behavior without you being in a relationship. If not, don't feel bad for not "speaking to her" and "ignoring her". It's what sometimes happens when you break up with someone. She'll just have to deal with it. Whatever you decide, just focus on yourself. She made the decision. You don't owe her anything anymore.
FreddieMay Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Jex, You love her more than anything in the world... But she has to know the consequences of breaking up, it means you no longer have a relationship. Give it a three months try, Do not call her, Do not meet her, just totally cut your communication with her, and let's see what happen. When you lost something, you will realise how much they really worth.
OnTheEdge Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 u didnt really explain much about the situation to us
Author Jexranger Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 UPDATED. Basically the last two girlfriends I had cheated on me at parties or due to alcohol so I'd ask if guys were going to be there when she went to those types of scenes, she also knows about that. But we argued I got over that issue and I haven't asked anything like that since then because I do trust her. It was a LDR and her mother asked me to change the dates a day before seeing her although she agreed to the dates a month before, but I couldn't so she said I couldn't go, after ringing the company I found out I could change it, so I was about to ring her and say I could but then she sent me a text through saying I couldn't go now even if I could change the dates because they had just had a massive argument, being angry I told her mother probably doesn't like, after convincing me she does like me and it was just because they had an argument I couldn't go, after calming down and realised I was being stupid I apologized, then we were getting on fine that night talking, later on in the afternoon the following day, I text her telling her I was sorry for being a total dick about it, but after speaking to her friends she decided she wanted to break up because she feels she needs to convince me too much and that I don't trust her. What should I do? I love this girl so much to let her go like this because I feel its unfair and I know she's wrong. Should I just travel 6 hours and knock on her door? Should I go NC? And tell her she's making a mistake because I do trust her and give her time to realise that I do and that I love her alot? Or should I just go NC without telling her?
Lish Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 UPDATED. Basically the last two girlfriends I had cheated on me at parties or due to alcohol so I'd ask if guys were going to be there when she went to those types of scenes, she also knows about that. But we argued I got over that issue and I haven't asked anything like that since then because I do trust her. It was a LDR and her mother asked me to change the dates a day before seeing her although she agreed to the dates a month before, but I couldn't so she said I couldn't go, after ringing the company I found out I could change it, so I was about to ring her and say I could but then she sent me a text through saying I couldn't go now even if I could change the dates because they had just had a massive argument, being angry I told her mother probably doesn't like, after convincing me she does like me and it was just because they had an argument I couldn't go, after calming down and realised I was being stupid I apologized, then we were getting on fine that night talking, later on in the afternoon the following day, I text her telling her I was sorry for being a total dick about it, but after speaking to her friends she decided she wanted to break up because she feels she needs to convince me too much and that I don't trust her. What should I do? I love this girl so much to let her go like this because I feel its unfair and I know she's wrong. Should I just travel 6 hours and knock on her door? Should I go NC? And tell her she's making a mistake because I do trust her and give her time to realise that I do and that I love her alot? Or should I just go NC without telling her? It's not unfair in the slightest. She ended the relationship. Her problem. Her issue. Sometimes, some relationships aren't worth the effort and she feels the same way ...it would be 'too much' effort to convince her that you trust her. Tbh, it's probably best you try to move on with your life. If you, however, feel that this relationship is worth fighting for, here is what to do and what NOT to do. DO--DON'T. - Tell her that you love her, that you do trust her (if you actually do, that is) and that you want to work on the relationship. Ask her what her answer is. Accept her first answer, regardless of what it is. -- Try not to get too 'soppy' or emotional as you tell her this. Should she chose to get back with you, you want it to be because she WANTS to, not because she feels sorry that you're sitting crying. Play it cool, basically. - If her answer is that she wants to try again - work through your issues by being very honest with each other. -- Never tell her something you think she wants to hear. The key is honest/open communication. - If her answer is a straight forward 'no'... accept this answer. Do not beg her, like I said, this has to be because she wants to...not because she feels sorry for you). - If she asks for some time to think about it - do not wait on her forever. A day or two at the most. You need to heal with or without her. Don't prolong the pain for yourself. If her answer is no, regardless if she wants to stay friends with you or not... you need to do what you need to in order to heal. And as you mentioned NC in the above post, you're obviously thinking about it. Tell her that you need NC for a while or for good (if she mentions friendship, tell her that the NC is not negotiable). I hope that in some way, it helps. Let us know how it goes and lastly, good luck in whatever you decide.
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