I JUST discovered Dr. Laura.

[Woggle]

I disagree with her on everything else but she is one of the few prominent women that actualy sticks up for men and for that I will always respect her.

[New Again]

I disagree with her on everything else but she is one of the few prominent women that actualy sticks up for men and for that I will always respect her.

 

I'm not familiar enough with her yet to guess at what you mean. If you want to be more specific I'd love to hear what you disagree with and why, and how she sticks up for men?

[dreamergrl]

I'm not her biggest fan, but I've enjoyed certain parts of "Cope with it!"

[Woggle]

I'm not familiar enough with her yet to guess at what you mean. If you want to be more specific I'd love to hear what you disagree with and why, and how she sticks up for men?

 

I disagree her stances on gays, drugs and her general moralizing but on the other hand she is one of the well known women who calls out modern feminism for what it is. She actually feels that men are human instead of pigs to be demonized.

[butcher's hook]

My point was that there is no need for arbitrary time restrictions on having sex, you should just do it when it feels right.

 

and that's what I do, it does not feel right to me to sleep with someone after a couple of dates so I don't.

 

Given all the mixed messages, all the pain, all the anxiety ridden posts of thousands of young women who do sleep with men right away and do not know their heads from their butts a month in, I can safely say it doesn't really feel right for them to sleep with men right away either but they do anyway.

 

Women are wired differently than men, we get emotionally attached after sex, men don't men compartmentalize. So if I am going to get emotionally attached to a guy I better darn well make sure he is someone I actually WANT to be attached to.

 

That's my evil master plan. WOW what a conniving bitch I am!!

 

Now youre being ridiculous. WHO would A) sleep with a homeless person, and B) sleep with someone who hasnt bathed in months?

 

Some men will sleep with tramps with herpes and crabs and a stinky vajajays in a drunken stuper, a person who has not bathed in a month and who lives on the street is not such a stretch of the imagination. Oh I'm sorry a tramp has a home you're right.... :laugh:

 

Yeah of course it works both ways women can be as indiscriminate as men but not in the same numbers and guaranteed a good number of women who are not discerning are giving sex to get love not just to have sex.

 

Despite what you might thing, sex is not the only thing guys want. Most guys do actually want a LTR, they just want to make sure they are picking the right woman.

 

And that is PRECISELY why I take my time in letting him get to know me, so that he can make an educated decision on me and I him.

 

 

Also, its really not up to you to decide whats a 'win' for other people.

 

I decide what's a win for me, he will get to know me and take his time doing so by proxy. If he wants to of course, no one is tying him to a bed post to force anything on him. Well not yet at least....:p

[BCCA]

and that's what I do, it does not feel right to me to sleep with someone after a couple of dates so I don't.

 

Ok, thats your perogative, but that doesnt make your way right or the best way.

 

Given all the mixed messages, all the pain, all the anxiety ridden posts of thousands of young women who do sleep with men right away and do not know their heads from their butts a month in, I can safely say it doesn't really feel right for them to sleep with men right away either but they do anyway.

 

Women are wired differently than men, we get emotionally attached after sex, men don't men compartmentalize. So if I am going to get emotionally attached to a guy I better darn well make sure he is someone I actually WANT to be attached to.

 

Ive addressed this, the ACT of having sex is not the problem, its the reason behind it. If youre doing it to get some sort of emotional response from a guy, than it doesnt matter how long you wait, thats just wrong.

 

And youre also generalizing women, I have several female friends that have one night stands because they are horny and want to get laid, not for any other reason. But youre speaking for everyone again...

 

Some men will sleep with tramps with herpes and crabs and a stinky vajajays in a drunken stuper, a person who has not bathed in a month and who lives on the street is not such a stretch of the imagination. Oh I'm sorry a tramp has a home you're right.... :laugh:

 

Yeah of course it works both ways women can be as indiscriminate as men but not in the same numbers and guaranteed a good number of women who are not discerning are giving sex to get love not just to have sex.

 

Wow, bitter much? Thats ridiculous, you just keep assuming that most of the male population has absolutely no standards or self respect, but I get the feeling you would jump all over such stupid generalizations about women.

 

And that is PRECISELY why I take my time in letting him get to know me, so that he can make an educated decision on me and I him.

 

That has NOTHING to do with sex. Nothing, zip, zilch, nada

 

I decide what's a win for me

 

...and then decide everyone should be happy with what you want, right?

 

I dont feel the need to debate this anymore, but your obviously viewing sex as your 'Ace in the hole' (no pun intended) to keeping a guy interested, when that has so little to do with it. Guys are going to like you or they arent, youre not going to keep them by making them wait months to have sex. Thats manipulative, but view it as you may.

[boogieboy]

 

His behavior and contact with the other woman would stop immediately and we would both be working on our relationship and focusing on each other.

 

Again, it's a two way street, not a one way where one person does all the work.

 

I dont look at the cheating forums, so I can only assume that in a relationship a person cheats because the communication has broken down. That means someone let it slide, and someone didnt want to change. By then its too late. Once the trust is lost....

 

So of course at this time, a person that is afraid to leave the relationship, or needs it more, would start trying things to make it better. Hence, thats why I say, apparently like the DR, if youre not going to leave, then make yourself desireable. But we all know the deal...how often is a broken emotional connection generally repaired?

[butcher's hook]

@BCCA you are just upset because what I am saying makes sense.

 

Women are more than just a pleasure hole, if you see us as more than that then you can sit back enjoy our company and let things happen when they need be sex is not at the forefront of your interaction. You sound like you place FAR too much weight on the sex alone and like any form of interaction in the early stages that does not involve sex is equal to making you feel used! You equate not having sex to work. Perhaps you just don't get enough of it that's why you are so keen to get it?

 

I dont feel the need to debate this anymore, but your obviously viewing sex as your 'Ace in the hole' (no pun intended) to keeping a guy interested, when that has so little to do with it. Guys are going to like you or they arent, youre not going to keep them by making them wait months to have sex. Thats manipulative, but view it as you may.

 

I get that, but it's not really about them it's about me. They can handle themselves. ;-)

[Woggle]

Women are not much different than men when it comes to casual sex. I know many that can easily sleep with a man and forget about him so don't act like women are innocent victims and that men who just want to get laid are taking advantage of them.

[butcher's hook]

Women are not much different than men when it comes to casual sex. I know many that can easily sleep with a man and forget about him so don't act like women are innocent victims and that men who just want to get laid are taking advantage of them.

 

 

No, women ARE different than men. Not in that they are not promiscuous I never claimed that. The difference is most women want something more than just sex, whether they admit it or not. Men just have ONSs for sex women don't. If you don't believe me see how many threads are started here alone of women claiming they are falling for their ONS guy or FWB guy vs how many men claim that. There is your answer.

[BCCA]

@BCCA you are just upset because what I am saying makes sense.

 

Women are more than just a pleasure hole, if you see us as more than that then you can sit back enjoy our company and let things happen when they need be sex is not at the forefront of your interaction. You sound like you place FAR too much weight on the sex alone and like any form of interaction in the early stages that does not involve sex is equal to making you feel used! You equate not having sex to work. Perhaps you just don't get enough of it that's why you are so keen to get it?

 

Im not upset at all, youre just going on as though what you say is right, and any guy who disagrees is a pig who just wants sex.

 

YOU are putting too much emphasis on sex. I said it should just happen, but YOU are the one saying you need to weed guys out by seeing who waits months for it, and thats just pointless. Sex should be a pleasurable act between two consenting adults, not a prize you hold out for as long as you can just to 'test' people.

 

You do realize that if you want 10 months, the guy could still cheat and dump you like a cold hearted SOB, right? The amount of time a guy waits has NOTHING to do with how succesful your relationship will be, again.

 

And then you resort to saying I dont get any? Come on, get over yourself, youre just out of rational thoughts. You can tell someone is losing an argument when they resort to crap like that... lol

 

 

I get that, but it's not really about them it's about me. They can handle themselves. ;-)

 

You keep holding sex out to manipulate guys, and enjoy being sexless and dissapointed. Sex is not evil, and AGAIN, should be something you do for mutual pleasure and bonding. Youre just hoping that holding out will make a guy more invested, when thats simply illogical.

 

The difference is most women want something more than just sex, whether they admit it or not. Men just have ONSs for sex women don't.

 

I love how you speak for millions and millions of women youve never met and know nothing about. Basically, you just want reality to be what you want.

[Woggle]

No' date=' women ARE different than men. Not in that they are not promiscuous I never claimed that. The difference is most women want something more than just sex, whether they admit it or not. Men just have ONSs for sex women don't. If you don't believe me see how many threads are started here alone of women claiming they are falling for their ONS guy or FWB guy vs how many men claim that. There is your answer.[/quote']

 

Women want what they can't have and that is why they get attached after a one night stand with a player. When these men do fall in love back she gets bored and doesn't want him anymore. Look at how many threads you see from women who have fallen out of love and are bored after they get what they want. It is the unattainable aspect that makes these women fall for these men.

[BCCA]

If you don't believe me see how many threads are started here alone of women claiming they are falling for their ONS guy or FWB guy vs how many men claim that. There is your answer.

 

The women you are speaking of used sex to manipulate a guy into a relationships, when LIKE I SAID, there was probably several signs that sleeping with him wouldnt help.

 

Women want what they can't have and that is why they get attached after a one night stand with a player. When these men do fall in love back she gets bored and doesn't want him anymore. Look at how many threads you see from women who have fallen out of love and are bored after they get what they want. It is the unattainable aspect that makes these women fall for these men.

 

This is true, women also end 4/5 relationships.

[Star Gazer]

I've never really wanted to admit it, but I pretty much subscribe to most of Dr. Laura's advice. Always have. "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" was spot on, IMO.

 

In many ways, she reminds me of Touche (what she SAYS, that is).

[butcher's hook]

Women want what they can't have and that is why they get attached after a one night stand with a player. When these men do fall in love back she gets bored and doesn't want him anymore. Look at how many threads you see from women who have fallen out of love and are bored after they get what they want. It is the unattainable aspect that makes these women fall for these men.

 

 

Yikes you went off the deepend there.

 

That was not the point of my comment it was to demonstrate that no strings attached sex for women generally really doesn't exist, there are are few exceptions. We are wired differently.

 

@BCCA I thought you said you didn't feel the need to debate this anymore?

[BCCA]

Yikes you went off the deepend there.

 

That was not the point of my comment it was to demonstrate that no strings attached sex for women generally really doesn't exist, there are are few exceptions. We are wired differently.

 

@BCCA I thought you said you didn't feel the need to debate this anymore?

 

Well, we obviously dont think the same way at all, but you attacked and insulted me. I guess I should just let that slide?

 

And you talk about other people going off the deepend, after your tyraid about guys sleeping with homeless people? Wow...

[butcher's hook]

Well, we obviously dont think the same way at all, but you attacked and insulted me. I guess I should just let that slide?

 

 

 

Why do you feel attacked and insulted because I asked you if you are getting enough sex and hence this might be the reason why you place so much importance on getting it right away?

If my question had any resemblence to your reality it was purely coincidental! I was just curious to know if this is why you feel "used" or like you are jumping through hoops until a woman sleeps with you.

[Gemini09]

A great majority of women(not all) are normally different than men when it comes to sex. Its a fact, women tend to become more emotionally attached than men do.

 

God who doesn't know this.

 

By the way, I wouldn't waste my time arguing with someone who doesn't seem to take sex seriously one bit.

[BCCA]

Why do you feel attacked and insulted because I asked you if you are getting enough sex and hence this might be the reason why you place so much importance on getting it right away?

If my question had any resemeblence to your reality it was purely coincidental! I was just curious to know if this is why you feel "used" or like you are jumping through hoops until a woman sleeps with you.

 

I appreciate your condescending and arrogant attitude, surely makes for a joyous discussion.

 

I have never had any dating experiences where the girl held out too long, or I felt that I needed sex immediately. If Im not into a girl, Im out, I dont try and get sex from her on the way. Thats a waste of time.

 

Ive also NEVER put any importance on getting it right away, and have said so many times over. You can keep pretending you didnt see it so you dont realize how silly this all sounds, but I said it should happen naturally, there shouldnt be time restrictions, i.e. 'wait 3 months'.

 

Your problem is that you are taking out your frustrations with guys on me, because Im a guy and I disagree. Youre making me into a pig, because that fits into your bitter view of men. This has nothing to do with me, you just know what youre doing isnt working, and you expect that sex is your ace up the sleeve, and its not working. Not because of sex, but because of the people involved.

 

As far as how often I get sex, I can get laid easily, but would trade that all away in a heartbeat for a LTR. I would rather find one girl to spend my life with. Sex is just sex, its not the end all, be all for me, and most guys.

 

But hey, were just pigs who want to get in your pants, when we arent screwing bums in an alley, that is...

[butcher's hook]

 

By the way, I wouldn't waste my time arguing with someone who doesn't seem to take sex seriously one bit.

 

 

You're right. Some men think so little of themselves they can't fathom the idea that a woman actually wants to spend time with him to get to know him for him. They need the reassurance that she will sleep with him right away to prove that she is actually really into him.

 

There is no accounting for some of men's insecurities! It's cute to see though.

[BCCA]

You're right. Some men think so little of themselves they can't fathom the idea that a woman actually wants to spend time with him to get to know him for him. They need the reassurance that she will sleep with him right away to prove that she is actually really into him.

 

There is no accounting for some of men's insecurities! It's cute to see though.

 

LOL YOU calling other people insecure? Unbelievable...

 

Please point me to where anyone said that they needed a girl to sleep with them right away to prove she is into them. Im waiting...

 

Oh better yet, you could just use lame insults!!!

[butcher's hook]

Your problem is that you are taking out your frustrations with guys on me, because Im a guy and I disagree. Youre making me into a pig, because that fits into your bitter view of men. This has nothing to do with me, you just know what youre doing isnt working, and you expect that sex is your ace up the sleeve, and its not working. Not because of sex, but because of the people involved.

 

 

 

What I am doing does work, which is why I want to share what I know with others who are struggling with a formula that perhaps doesn't work for them. It's not for you your formula works for you, it's for other people reading. It works very well thank you very much. I am very happy with my man, and we have sex often and our relationship progressed nicely. When it felt right we had sex and it was not right away, and we enjoyed getting to know one another before and after immensely.

 

I just want others to be as happy as I am!

[BCCA]

Listen, getting to know the other person is HUGE for guys, too.

 

My only point has ALWAYS been that the amount of time you wait to have sex has nothing to do with the overall success of your relationship, and Ill add that its unless there is an extreme (like the first night, or not until marrige).

 

I dont want sex as gratification or a reward, I want the person Im with to enjoy sex just as much as I do. I dont want it to be some taboo thing that she feels like she has to hold out until I 'commit myself' in some way.

 

Sex is natural, it should happen as such. I just dont see the need to wait months, but to each their own.

[butcher's hook]

My only point has ALWAYS been that the amount of time you wait to have sex has nothing to do with the overall success of your relationship, and Ill add that its unless there is an extreme (like the first night, or not until marrige).

 

 

 

Ok now THAt we can agree on of course not!! I never said it does. I think this is where our cables crossed in the first place because I never suggested "wait to have sex" if you want the relationship to work out. I don't adhere to that way of thinking at ALL. that's foolish.

 

What I did say was to wait to have sex so get to know a person to REALLY get to know a person, look you could totally fall for someone in getting to know them and then have sex or get to the kissing part even and realize OMG we have terrible physical chemistry. Waiting doesn't guarantee a good relationship it guarantees you are at least both headed in the same direction together, things can change but when one person is just on for a quick ride you can catch on to them pretty quickly they will not want to get to know you they will only push for sex.

 

that's it.

 

Now can we kiss and make up? Air kiss that is....Muuah!

[Gemini09]

 

My only point has ALWAYS been that the amount of time you wait to have sex has nothing to do with the overall success of your relationship, and Ill add that its unless there is an extreme (like the first night, or not until marrige).

 

 

Ha. I don't think I actually completely agree with that. The problem is you seem to feel this way about all relationships. You are saying sex has nothing to do with the overall success of a relationship? You seem be speaking in general? Not all, but a lot of relationships do not work out because sex happened too early. It can cause issues.

 

This happened to myself once. When it happened to me, I started having major trust issues. I wondered if I was being used just for sex. I knew the we should have waited. I also realized I did not know this person much after all, and ended up getting hurt.

 

I don't know what it is, but it can screw things up if you want anything meaningful. First of all, you do not truly know the person enough to be that intimate yet. I think trust is the key. If you trust someone on the first few dates or so, then good for you.

 

I do know things happen sometimes, and sex can happen right away. Im not saying the relationship is necessarily doomed, but in a lot of cases it screws things up.