I sent this email to him!!!

[away with jay]

I am new to this site and I have a question.

 

My ex and I started to talk again, he has made it very clear that he is not interested in ever rekindling anything with me and as also to me to move on. I am finding it hard to do this, I was not in contact with him for over 2 months then sudden flood of memorys came back to me and there I go again, feeling helpless and very sad. I emailed him today with this letter.

 

Hey,

I have been up thinking all night about the conversation and your advise to me in reguards to moving on. I wanted to point out a few things.

 

This is worse then losing my best friend .

 

At this time I really wish I was like you and I could shut everything off and never look back. I am not like you in this reguards . I am not trying to relive the past however we have been through alot together , we have also been there for one another .

 

It is weird because with ###### when I ended it I was done with it . I also thought that I could never care for someone as much as I cared for him. I thought the feelings I had for him were the strongest ones ever . I was wrong I met you and they were deeper then I have ever felt . It was very scary for me to have this kind of feeling.

 

Now I sit here lost just thinking about everything that was wrong and how I was treated by you, I try to get mad and I try to stay mad but it never works . I always end up missing you . I want these feelings to go away, I do not want to care so deeply , I do not want to feel sad and I do not know how to get rid of this . I try and think of things that my friends say to me in reguards to this and it never helps . I can always let go of people in my life (###### / ######) even my son I did not talk to him in over a year, I can stay angry at anyone but you . You might have been a ass to me but you also did some very kind and thoughtfull things for me too . I think that I am scared to let go of you because I feel nothing when I am not with you.

 

Jason I know this is alot to suddenly take in but trust me the feelings came back real suddenly . it is not like I am not busy because this job has me always on the go . I think that a large part of this happening to me has to do that I always thought that I would share things in my life with you . I can nto say I am not excited about this job but when I got my first pay from here the first thing in my mind was us doing something . It took a minute and I had to back track my thinking.

 

I thought finally I could do a trip and pay my way in life and all my bills and still have fun money . But really it is not that fun when I am going it alone.

 

The point of this email is to express my feelings thats it cuz if I never see you again I would like you to know what I feel . I have a weird feeling that you are not really wanting to come out this coming up weekend , I will make this eazy on you , without any words If you do not show up this weekend (as much as I would love to see you) I will understand and I will stop contacting , I will leave you alone completely , This way the ball is all in your court . Everything takes time . This is no different . it is a healing prosses .

 

If any of you recieved this letter what would you think.

Keep in mind he is telling me to move on adn we can remain friends.

 

Thank you all ...

[BW007]

Well... I guess I wish for an outpouring of emotion and positive sentiment directed towards me from my ex but I think this may just feed this guys ego and not get you anywhere.

[Beeotch]

If I did not want to be with this person anymore....then I would feel very guilty and sad about the pain I was causing them. I would feel like crap. But feeling badly about hurting someone won't make me love them.

 

I mean...in a lesser context, if a guy I am not interested in compliments me, sends me love letters etc. I might think it is sweet and nice but it won't change how I feel.

 

If I had feelings for this person....then it would perhaps stir me to think about my decision to not be with them. It may not cause me to dive back into a relationship, but I would think twice.