datingsucks Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Got coffee with some girl I met online, she asked me to go out a few days later. It rained horribly, but it went well enough considering the weather. Anyway, I get a text right after saying "you know really should have made a move, just a suggestion next time". Am I too conservative, but is that a bit too pissy this soon? Personally I think PDAs/hugs etc can wait until a bit later. I like a friends first approach for the first date(second if you count having coffee as a date the first time we met.) Frankly I'd feel peeved being touched/armed by a stranger I only knew for a few hours, but maybe I'm wierd. Not sure if she's pissed and kind'a don't want to contact her now. I mean I can understand wanting a bit of affection on the first/second date, but I wouldn't call someone out on it that soon, esp. via a pissy text message, so that was a bit of a turn off for me. Thoughts?
westrock Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 "you know really should have made a move, just a suggestion next time". Sounds like she's interested in a 2nd date.
skjd1220 Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I suspect that was her way of flirting with you a bit and giving you the green light to kiss her next time. I don't think she was trying to 'call you out'. The intentions of things come across bad in text messages sometimes but I doubt she was being pissy at all. If you like her, ask her out and kiss her!
Absolutely Curtains Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Uh, no that's not pissy, she was just flirting with you. But I don't think you should call her again, because you seem to overreact and have a terrible attitude toward both dating and this particular girl.
sexibanez Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I suspect that was her way of flirting with you a bit and giving you the green light to kiss her next time. I don't think she was trying to 'call you out'. The intentions of things come across bad in text messages sometimes but I doubt she was being pissy at all. If you like her, ask her out and kiss her! you're well in mate, lucky sod!
Lucky_One Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Why would you assume she was pissy? Sounded like she was trying to be flirty and open about her attraction to you. I am guessing that you really aren't that attracted to her in the first place.
Vet Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 That's the problem with written word; it's easily misconstrued. I can see what you mean by her being "pissy", but could also see it being conceived as flirty. Post-date text messages need to be a quick "Had a great time, hope we can do it again" or nothing at all.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Got coffee with some girl I met online, she asked me to go out a few days later. It rained horribly, but it went well enough considering the weather. Anyway, I get a text right after saying "you know really should have made a move, just a suggestion next time". Am I too conservative, but is that a bit too pissy this soon? Personally I think PDAs/hugs etc can wait until a bit later. I like a friends first approach for the first date(second if you count having coffee as a date the first time we met.) Frankly I'd feel peeved being touched/armed by a stranger I only knew for a few hours, but maybe I'm wierd. Not sure if she's pissed and kind'a don't want to contact her now. I mean I can understand wanting a bit of affection on the first/second date, but I wouldn't call someone out on it that soon, esp. via a pissy text message, so that was a bit of a turn off for me. Thoughts? You don't offer enough detail to expect a fair answer from anybody out here who does not know your story. For all we know, "some girl you met online" could have been on the other end of a 5-year acquaintanceship which had you only recently meeting in real life for the first time. In such a situation, she is entirely in-line when texting you such a message. If you only chatted for 45 minutes online before meeting at the nearest Starbucks, then she's still free to text her mind, and you are free to take it as you will. The difference in the two scenarios comes down to what you would tend to think of her looking BACK at the events.
dreamergrl Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 She was flirting with you, and if you keep it at a 'friend approach' after she's flirted with you, attempted to have a kiss with you or what not, you my friend, will not continue to get flirted with. She will think you are uninterested. You don't have to grope her arse until it's black and blue, but a kiss good bye? A lil hug here and there.
CaliGuy Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Meh, what did she mean by move?! A kiss or "hey baby, wanna come check out my new bed?!" I mean, really!!! LOL If you make a move, they think you're a perv. If you don't, they get upset. Sometimes you just can't win at the dating game.
Isolde Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 A lot of girls kind of feel like if the guy is attracted, he'll at least hug on the first date. Maybe she's just not used to dating guys that take a while to get more comfortable with that.
Author datingsucks Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 Meh, what did she mean by move?! A kiss or "hey baby, wanna come check out my new bed?!" I mean, really!!! LOL If you make a move, they think you're a perv. If you don't, they get upset. Sometimes you just can't win at the dating game. Exactly my point... I had a girl actually get pissed for me being too "just friends" on the FIRST DATE...so hence why I'm thinking this is the same case vs. just flirting.
dreamergrl Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Girls like to know the guy is interested in them. If I don't get something that implies that - I don't think they are interested. I also normally get a hug at the end of a good first date. She was most likely trying to hint around to see if you liked her. What's the big deal?
Isolde Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I think its a turn off if whether its a guy or girl has to point out they need a hug or telling the person they should have made a move. You should not be so insecure, and assume the guy is into you. Why do you need certain things to prove they are into you? If he/she keeps talking to you and is going out with you, then that should be enough....for the first date or so at least. Yeah, ideally, people wouldn't analyze the first date too much as long as they had a good time.
dreamergrl Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I didn't realize flirting was a turn off on a first date. Generally, most people flirt when they like someone. Everyone just does it in their own way.
Author datingsucks Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 I didn't realize flirting was a turn off on a first date. Generally, most people flirt when they like someone. Everyone just does it in their own way. Well I'm not clear if that was the case, hence the question.
CaliGuy Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I just had a first date tonight. At the end of the date I said "I'd like to see you again" and she said "awesome!" No need to make a move, just say you're interested
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Meh, what did she mean by move?! A kiss or "hey baby, wanna come check out my new bed?!" I mean, really!!! LOL If you make a move, they think you're a perv. If you don't, they get upset. Sometimes you just can't win at the dating game. LOL...it's such a delicate balance, to be sure. I'm adoring the dance, though. It can be so interesting.
dreamergrl Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I just had a first date tonight. At the end of the date I said "I'd like to see you again" and she said "awesome!" No need to make a move, just say you're interested This doesn't always indicate interest though. How many people, on a first date, say that at the end regardless of how they really feel?? People will say it to bring things to an end quicker, make up for awkward silence, say it to be nice, ect ect... it doesn't mean jack these days... sorry.
torranceshipman Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Wow, give the girl a break, she had the courage to send you a sweet flirty message that not only told you shae had a good time and would like to do it again, but that she wants to kiss you, and you totally have the green light to kiss her if you want! That's really cool of her. I can't believe you'd give her a hard time for doing that!!
CaliGuy Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 This doesn't always indicate interest though. How many people, on a first date, say that at the end regardless of how they really feel?? People will say it to bring things to an end quicker, make up for awkward silence, say it to be nice, ect ect... it doesn't mean jack these days... sorry. Well we both had a great time and I'm pretty sure we'll be going out again. We had a lot of fun. But if she doesn't, my basket is full right now so I have a plethora of choices.
seoa Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 lots of people - guys & girls both - can convince themselves they're being 'helpful' by giving negative feedback at the end of a date... usually those people are a bit newer (maybe returning) to the dating scene... she could have meant it as a judgemental criticism, she could have meant it as a flirty way of saying she was interested... your best bet is to ignore it, and continue with your plans to see /not see her again, as per life-before-text... coz otherwise you're judging her on a single behaviour, which would be equally excessive (assuming she was being pissy)...
dreamergrl Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Well we both had a great time and I'm pretty sure we'll be going out again. We had a lot of fun. But if she doesn't, my basket is full right now so I have a plethora of choices. I do as well, but still if I'm interested, I've got no issue giving the guy a hug at the end of the date. People are not mind readers. I've had plenty of dates that I thought went well, and never heard from them again.
BCCA Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I do as well, but still if I'm interested, I've got no issue giving the guy a hug at the end of the date. People are not mind readers. I've had plenty of dates that I thought went well, and never heard from them again. Yeah, I've certainly been there. Its so random, almost like you saw something that wasnt there. But like Ive been told time and time again, thats dating, right?
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