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See where being friends with EX leads you - use me as example

Goatsbreath

By Goatsbreath
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Goatsbreath Established Member

Goatsbreath

Posted
Posted

OK, so I just finished this letter and sent it off, yeah its to late for me but save yourself. Reading this you will see what took place. If you are confused about the girl part, yeah, she left me for a guy, then started seeing a girl, now a guy again. Here's my letter to her......

 

I realize Im only replying to myself now, writing to myself, I do everything by myself so why not. Weird how you don't even respond like you completely don't give a **** about me. I feel like you used me. I was good enough to talk to and hang out with to get you through a rough period of time but now that you have a new boyfriend, "cya Michael, I don't really give a damn if you are hurt and dont want to talk because I have someone else to occupy my time now." Well good for you, Im happy for you, I had nobody and you basically spit in my face and said, sorry, Im busy with my new **** friend when you had roger. So why not now too...I guess Im starting to realize my place in your life.

 

Yes, I got moody on the phone, I got dissapointed because even though everyone, my mom, my brother, natalie, and anyone who would listen to me about this told me to stay away, Im better off, its her loss, blah blah, I still held on. I thought, dahhhh, maybe if I just stay really non pressure like but no....you still decide anything is apparently better then me. So what? You dug up another buddy from your past?

 

I sacraficed my job, my life up north, my health, and anything that had to be put on the line for you and you can't even give me a reply or a call and want to make things right. You don't even call to say michael, I know your pissed at me. I know things didn't work out the way you wanted but you are so very important to me or anything. Its like Im too much to even think about so alls you can give me is

 

"I dont know what to say"

 

why?....because you don't really think about it, why? because you dont really give a damn

 

Its sad, I am sad I guess, sad and pathetic because yeah, I poored my heart out when you were leaving me with letter after letter and I wrote some new ones to follow in the email that you never gave 2 mintues to respond to. What gets me is that I thought we had something special at some point, I mean our history, the way we got back together but all thats tainted now and its just pain and a lot of hurt.

 

Thats what I associate with you now and its sour and difficult for me to digest evey day but the thing that really really hurts is that after all that some girl you knew for a few months could make your pen move on real paper and your heart was all over that....but I get nothing, Im worth nothing to you, I never was, I never got any words, ...............juust silence

 

you complained about those people, how they weren't there for you and such. I tried to be there for you around every corner. I moved down here and suddenly realized you were addicted to some drugs- I stood bye you, you lost your job- I stood bye you and let you move into my place, when you got sick I drove you to the hospital and stayed the whole night with you before I went to work....never leaving you, I got up during late night movies and when you said I want some pumpkin pie I went and got it for you. I even tried cindy crawford workouts and some really bad attempt at a fasting becaue I was doing it for you. But thats not really what you want because when we had breakfast recently the only bit of information you could give me was this.

 

"I think thats why It didn't really work out with us," referring to how I wasn't completely setteled in my life, always struggling for more and not content where I was, always wanting to better myself and at the time US.

 

Its weird how I found it in me to stand next to you proudly after all you brought to the table and want to be there to see you through it- to help you. But, when it came to something festering inside me, something I needed to change, you didn't want to stand with me and help me grow or become everything I wanted to be. You just decided you rather do something else..............

Crow9726 Established Member

Crow9726

Posted
Posted

I also feel the same way sometimes. She was a mess when we first got together. I made her life drama free and addiction free. Her kids loved me more than their own father. She got "better"...then proceeded to tell me all about her past and her issues with intimacy after play acting for a year...and was not the woman she had presented herself to be.

 

She is in a much better place now...working and going to nursing school in another state. Her mental and emotional health are much better as a result of being with me. I was drained in many ways trying to be the best partner I could be...and couldn't see how selfish she was...using me as a rebound and then leaving me behind.

 

I just want to hear her tell me that she is in a better place not because she is no longer with me...but because of the precious time we had together.

 

She has acknowledged it in roundabout ways...but never directly.

Lish Established Member

Lish

Posted
Posted

Michael is a nice name =]

Anyway, you're definitely better to be rid of her - you sound like a nice guy. Just forget about her and try moving on. She's really not worth the effort.

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Goatsbreath Established Member

Goatsbreath

Posted
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Thanks, I'm trying to move on....sometimes I get stationary in my thinking but I'm trying to exorcise the girl from my life. Its tuff though because we were dated briefly in highschool, seperated during college and what not then 10 years later got back together. We remained distant friends the whole time, emails, phonecalls and seeing each other on occasions. Now nothing is the same, even though she would like to still be friends, I don't think I can anymore.........

Lish Established Member

Lish

Posted
Posted
Thanks, I'm trying to move on....sometimes I get stationary in my thinking but I'm trying to exorcise the girl from my life. Its tuff though because we were dated briefly in highschool, seperated during college and what not then 10 years later got back together. We remained distant friends the whole time, emails, phonecalls and seeing each other on occasions. Now nothing is the same, even though she would like to still be friends, I don't think I can anymore.........

Then stick to your guns & stay strong. You are much better without this girl in your life - she has dragged you down and made you miserable.

 

And for the record, you said in your letter to her that you think she used you - I just read it again and that's definitely the impression I got.

 

Good luck <3

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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Personally, in my opinion, I don't think it was a good idea to send her that letter. All that did, was let her know that you are bitter. And bitterness is very unattractive. If it was your goal just to let her know how s****y of a girlfriend she was, you definitely hit the nail on the head.

 

The way you are making it seem though, she doesn't care much about you anymore if she is treating you that way, and ignoring you like that. I'm very very sorry that you had to go through that, it's not fair to you and it's definitely not right that you were stuck with a girl that treated you that way. But that just goes to show you that she really isn't the girl for you. The girl for you would do anything to keep you.

 

So my suggestion to you, is to just move on. Learn from this.

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Goatsbreath Established Member

Goatsbreath

Posted
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Yeah, personally, I think it was a bad idea now too, haha, but its to late. I wrote that letter after she told me over the phone she went to visit this guy from where we both grew up and is interested. She spent the night there. I guess someone else from her past. I used to be that person. It set me off in the wrong way.

 

When we broke up 8 months ago she immediately started seeing a guy, she ended that for a girl, then the girl ended that and she was all upset and called me after a car accident talking all weird from a closed head injury. Concerned she drew me back into her life and I fell for it. I hung out with her, helped her get groceries and what not and she got better. Then we ended up being intimate a few times. She called that off saying I don't want to give you wrong idea, I don't think I want to get back together but I do want to be friends. I really like it we can be friends she would say.

 

I don't know, I backed off thinking maybe she would miss me but then she just found this other guy and so I lost it. I guess I should learn my lesson now

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

Posted
Posted

It sounds to me like you already did learn your lesson!

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