Mydish1 Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 So I've been on 2 dates with this girl. And seemingly she gets bored easily...conversation is a stimulant for her and she loves to talk and debate about stuff. I think the only time she's having fun is when there is talking involved. I didn't kiss her at the end of the first date because I didn't want to rush into things and screw it up. Although we had some good chemistry and EC throughout. Come around making the second date she didn't seem to enthused about it, she canceled the morning of our evening date with no excuse. And asked if we could reschedule based on the day I wanted this week. And I did. Second date: went to a nice bar with live music had a drink and listened and did a little talking. After an hour I decided it was boring her (as she was checking her phone), so we went to a regular bar and sat next to each other. Noticed she slightly nudged away as I put my hand on her back randomly...which I've been doing since date 1. During one of the silent moments of our convo, I moved in for a kiss and she gave me the cheek. We left shortly after. We walked to the same train station before parting. She seemed like she wanted a kiss..or she expected me to make plans again on the spot, I just ignored it and gave her a hug. And said "Well, until next time. Give me a call sometime." All these years, I've become really good at reading body language. And her body language does not seem like she's romantically/sexually interested in me. So I think I'm going to write her off as a romantic interest. I think if all else we get along platonically. What do you guys make of her, should I just next this one?
caramel c Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 It's hard to say, without having been there to witness, but I think its safe to go with your gut instinct - which is telling you she's not all that interested. Then again, you could just try again one more time if you think there is a chance you read her wrong, because you don't know her all that well yet. That is, if you really liked her. You can't really go wrong either way.
Confusedalways Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 If you're interested, or think you could be-- it might be worth another shot. If you're ambivalent, next.
Author Mydish1 Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 It's hard to say, without having been there to witness, but I think its safe to go with your gut instinct - which is telling you she's not all that interested. Then again, you could just try again one more time if you think there is a chance you read her wrong, because you don't know her all that well yet. That is, if you really liked her. You can't really go wrong either way. It is hard to say and it seems she likes being in my company. And we do get along. But she's told me she analyzes a lot - in detail and the whole picture, so I haven't the slightest clue what she thinks of me. I actually had an ex like that who was a big analyzer and she would often err on the side of caution and take things slow. Honestly speaking though, if this isn't going anywhere romantically. I have no interest in continuing paying for her when we're out.
amerikajin Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 So I've been on 2 dates with this girl. And seemingly she gets bored easily...conversation is a stimulant for her and she loves to talk and debate about stuff. I think the only time she's having fun is when there is talking involved. I didn't kiss her at the end of the first date because I didn't want to rush into things and screw it up. Although we had some good chemistry and EC throughout. Come around making the second date she didn't seem to enthused about it, she canceled the morning of our evening date with no excuse. And asked if we could reschedule based on the day I wanted this week. And I did. Second date: went to a nice bar with live music had a drink and listened and did a little talking. After an hour I decided it was boring her (as she was checking her phone), so we went to a regular bar and sat next to each other. Noticed she slightly nudged away as I put my hand on her back randomly...which I've been doing since date 1. During one of the silent moments of our convo, I moved in for a kiss and she gave me the cheek. We left shortly after. We walked to the same train station before parting. She seemed like she wanted a kiss..or she expected me to make plans again on the spot, I just ignored it and gave her a hug. And said "Well, until next time. Give me a call sometime." All these years, I've become really good at reading body language. And her body language does not seem like she's romantically/sexually interested in me. So I think I'm going to write her off as a romantic interest. I think if all else we get along platonically. What do you guys make of her, should I just next this one? I must have two or three threads about dates/situations like this floating around here on LS. Honestly, I can tell you this much: if you didn't have another date with her, I doubt seriously it would be a big deal. That's not to say you shouldn't ask her out again - that's up to you. But what I'm saying is, when it clicks, you know it. It's just different, and honestly, it's not like what you've described thus far. Ask her out again if you wish; dating itself can be useful as a learning experience if nothing else, and sometimes we just have to learn by doing. But I can already tell you, knowing what I know about life, people, and dating, if you never went out with her again, it wouldn't be a big deal. You will know when it's a big deal. You will know when you absolutely have to ask her out for another date, because you won't have any questions about it in your mind, and neither will she.
caramel c Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 It is hard to say and it seems she likes being in my company. And we do get along. But she's told me she analyzes a lot - in detail and the whole picture, so I haven't the slightest clue what she thinks of me. I actually had an ex like that who was a big analyzer and she would often err on the side of caution and take things slow. Honestly speaking though, if this isn't going anywhere romantically. I have no interest in continuing paying for her when we're out. Understandable. The question for you to answer is: Are you feelin it or not? If you are, then it's probably worth checking her out another time. If you are discouraged because of her overanalyzing tendencies, or if your intuition is telling you she's not into you romantically (and thats what you want) then just forget it.
Absolutely Curtains Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Sounds like she's not very interested. Stop making excuses for her.
skjd1220 Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Some women take a little time to warm up to the physical and the touching stuff. I know it sounds silly, but if it seemed like she was interested at the end of the date, give it one more shot. I recently was the girl in your story. I was really interested in guy but wasn't super comfortable with casual touching, hand holding etc on the first and second date. The last date went really well and then I never heard from him again...and I suspect partly that was why. I was honestly ready to kiss him at the end of night, but I think he was annoyed I wasn't more receptive earlier. Sometimes the touching flirting can be more harder then just kissing at first. I know I was wrong and it's something I'm working on. Just wanted to throw it out there for you...if you like her, she might be more interested then you think. Kiss her at the end of the date and see if there is anything there. If not, move on. If you aren't all that interested anyhow....then don't bother.
sexibanez Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Some women take a little time to warm up to the physical and the touching stuff. I know it sounds silly, but if it seemed like she was interested at the end of the date, give it one more shot. I recently was the girl in your story. I was really interested in guy but wasn't super comfortable with casual touching, hand holding etc on the first and second date. The last date went really well and then I never heard from him again...and I suspect partly that was why. I was honestly ready to kiss him at the end of night, but I think he was annoyed I wasn't more receptive earlier. Sometimes the touching flirting can be more harder then just kissing at first. I know I was wrong and it's something I'm working on. Just wanted to throw it out there for you...if you like her, she might be more interested then you think. Kiss her at the end of the date and see if there is anything there. If not, move on. If you aren't all that interested anyhow....then don't bother. hmmmm, she sounds like high maintenance and isnt exactly calling you to make plans. i vote move on...
skjd1220 Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 hmmmm, she sounds like high maintenance and isnt exactly calling you to make plans. i vote move on... That's a good point- after my date, I realized I was probably wrong and at least contacted him to say I was really enjoying spending time with him and wanted to go out more. If she's really interested, she'll probably give you some indication, at least a thank you text or email.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 After an hour I decided it was boring her (as she was checking her phone) :lmao: At first I thought this said she was checking her PULSE. LOL Uh, yeah - I'd write this one off. That doesn't sound like fun at all.
silverfish Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Checking your phone while on a date is pretty rude. If I had to do it I'd at least do it while I was on the loo or say why I was checking it. Checking your pulse would be a good way of getting rid of someone you arent into! If you left it like that why don't you see if she calls you next? - If she likes you she will I think
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