bonsei Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 U met someone interesting yet he/she is of different faith, she/he ask you to convert, his/her faith is converting people and they cant marry outside their faith? Will u have romantic relationship with her/him?
Confusedalways Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 no I would not convert, but I wouldn't be dating them in the first place since I'm really passive above religion.
caramel c Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 No. I'm looking for someone to share my faith in God with, and this is very important to me.
parrotlover Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Then I would find someone who DOES share your faith in God. Not someone who has to pretend that they do in order to marry you.
caramel c Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Then I would find someone who DOES share your faith in God. Not someone who has to pretend that they do in order to marry you. Yes, that is why I answered no to the question. I would not convert to a different religion.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Nope. Not only do I think religion is a big load of BS and I'm happy being Agnostic, but I think that's a pretty big thing to ask of somebody. If you can't love somebody the way they are, then it's not love, IMO.
thegreatmoose Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Yes, I might convert. If I find true love, there's no guarantee I'd find it again.
Thaddeus Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I find it amusing that one person would use religion as a litmus test for personal and sexual compatibility. It's like saying, "My invisible friend is better than your invisible friend!" It's ludicrous.
marlena Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I find it amusing that one person would use religion as a litmus test for personal and sexual compatibility. It's like saying, "My invisible friend is better than your invisible friend!" It's ludicrous Are you a mind reader, Thaddeus?
Vet Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I find it amusing that one person would use religion as a litmus test for personal and sexual compatibility. It's like saying, "My invisible friend is better than your invisible friend!" It's ludicrous. I don't know how ludicrous it is, per se. I use the absence of religion in much the same way--I wouldn't want to be with someone that was religious because we wouldn't be personally compatible, and depending on their religion, sexually.
Thaddeus Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Are you a mind reader, Thaddeus?No, nadda chance. I don't know what's going on in my own head most of the time, much less anyone else's! FWIW, there was a time when I was deeply religious, heavily active in my local church and all the rest. I guess it was what I needed at the time, I needed to believe in something bigger than myself and everyone around me. But I left that behind, and I'm so very glad I did. I still very much respect people with strong, reasonable faith (extremists of any stripe excluded) because I was there, I know where it comes from and I know the aching gap that it temporarily fills. I think George Carlin said it best:Religion... at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a while, and it makes you walk straight and feel better - fine. But you don't need it forever, or you can become permanently disabled. Religion is like a lift in the shoe, and I say just don't ask me to wear your shoes.(reference) So I'd have a very difficult time being with someone who becomes permanently disabled, by choice, by having that lift in her shoe for the rest of her life.
GorillaTheater Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I actually do believe in something larger than myself, in a spiritual sense (as opposed to the elephant or cadilac sense), I'm just not sure what it is. I'll go farther: I believe in God, but I'm not sure what He wants from us, if anything. But "conversion" means you have a starting point, something you're converting from. Whether it's some form of spirituality or lack thereof, such beliefs are or at least should be so deeply personal that to change those beliefs, for the sake of a relationship, doesn't make any sense to me. The willingness to do so seems to reflect a total lack of depth, IMO.
marlena Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Thadeus, I, too, have used it as a crutch or shoe...whatever. Still might have to do one day. Such is the stuff that man is created from. It is a powerful need. Marx called it the opium of the people but, hey, who doesn't need a powerful anaesthetic from time to time? Actually, there are times when I envy people whose faith provides them with some degree of solace. There was a time when it did the same for me. It still does in some ways. I find the philosophy of religion a fascinating sojourn that I occassionally allow myself to wander in. A dear friend recommended a book "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsch, which I found surprisingly thought-provoking. I thank him for it. Just yesterday, I was reading about encrypted foretelling messages in the Bible. Not to mention the shelf full of Buddist teachings in my home office. These questions have plagued man since the dawn of time. I would worry about myself it they didn't jog a few grey cells rattling around in my brain. I fully understand where you are coming from.
utterer of lies Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 U met someone interesting yet he/she is of different faith, she/he ask you to convert, his/her faith is converting people and they cant marry outside their faith? Depends. I might convert to atheism or satanism, or maybe to the church of subgenius. Some cults based on Loki or Anansi might be acceptable too. However, I wouldn't convert to unfashionable religions like judaism or islam. I like my foreskin, and I like eating pork. Will u have romantic relationship with her/him? Not every romantic relationship is destined for marriage.
Trojan John Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I have a friend who broke with three very different, but equally lovely people, simply because of religious differences. He is an Adventist, and they were Russian Orthodox, Hindu, and Catholic respectively. He could never give me a straight answer as to why he dated outside his church group. My wife and I had no problem. We were indoctrinated Catholic and Protestant, but gave them up and went for a very non-denominational wedding on a yacht. MUCH cooler than sitting in a church for two hours.
utterer of lies Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Judaism is "unfashionable?":rolleyes: Yeah, Monotheism is so un-21th-century. And come on...black hats? Those weird curls over the ears? Even the islamists have nicer beards. And compared to the nice S&M-inspired and -inspiring stuff some of the catholics wear... Oh and not all of us don't eat pork. Foreskin -> Judaism Pork -> Islam Educate yourself why don't you? Work on your reading comprehension, why don't you?
JamesM Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Thaddeus, this thread isn't a question about the validity of religion, so please do not pull up the same old arguments used by Dawkins, Hitchens, and company. It is also tiring that we must endure such disrespectful comments in an otherwise respectful thread. The question here is...would you change? And that could be converting to a Buddhist....an atheist religion. That could be rejecting one's faith to marry an atheist. In all possibilities, my answer is the same. I actually dated a girl who I deeply liked (maybe even loved) who was Catholic. I am Protestant. She was willing to change, but deep down I knew that unless she did it on her own with no pressure from me, it would not be a true "conversion." While this is an example among two Christian beliefs, anyone who knows both knows that there are fundamental differences that can be very divisive in a marriage. We parted ways, and we both found someone else. Unless a person changes on her/his own free will, it may not be a lasting change. It is much better to either marry someone who is of the same belief or non-belief or to marry someone who has accepted you as you are with no need for change. Again, I agree with Touche. If we do not walk into marriage accepting the person for who they are with no expectations of change, we are heading for many disappointment and possibly even divorce.
utterer of lies Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Nothing wrong with my reading comprehension... Yeah, it's more likely that your sense of humor is the problem
marlena Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I honestly don't get what this thread is about. Whatever happened to a civil ceremony to iron things out? What the heck does religion have to do with marriage? If two people put religion above their own feelings for eachother, then they deserve not to be together. JMO. When religion becomes divisive, it loses ground for me. Whatever happened to just respecting eachother's religion or lack of and still committing to one another? Why should anyone have to convert?
Soul-Searcher Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I wouldn't and my BF wouldn't either. I would never be with someone who wanted me to convert to his religion. Love me as I am or find someone else.
utterer of lies Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 When religion becomes divisive, it loses ground for me. Whatever happened to just respecting eachother's religion or lack of and still committing to one another? Why should anyone have to convert? Well, if she wants me to slaughter/behead a lamb and smear her with its blood and then lick it off her naked body, I can't really be a hindu. It completely goes against their vegetarian credo... Not that I'm a Hindu, it's just an example.
marlena Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Well, if she wants me to slaughter/behead a lamb and smear her with its blood and then lick it off her naked body, I can't really be a hindu. It completely goes against their vegetarian credo... Not that I'm a Hindu, it's just an example. Well, there's your answer! But wait, would you expect her to kneel down in church, kiss icons and statues, worship a man on a cross, confess to her sins, put wafers in her mouth, fast, not use contraception, refuse abortion, self-flagellate etc...? Like I said, if two people feel very strongly about their religion, then they should mary within in that religion.
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I'm not deeply religious, but no, I wouldn't convert to someone else's religion simply to marry her. It would be an insult to both me and the religion. First, if she fell in love with me, she knew what I was from the start - don't ask me to be something I'm not. Secondly, if I did convert, I'd simply be going through the motions. I wouldn't actually believe in the things that my new religion was teaching. I wouldn't hold any of their tenants sacred, I wouldn't do any work to promote them and I wouldn't expend any energy defending them. If you ran a religion, would you want a member like that? Well, if she wants me to slaughter/behead a lamb and smear her with its blood and then lick it off her naked body, I can't really be a hindu. It completely goes against their vegetarian credo... Kinky!
utterer of lies Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 But wait, would you expect her to kneel down in church, I like women on their knees kiss icons and statues, worship a man on a cross, confess to her sins, put wafers in her mouth, fast, Wouldn't really bother me... not use contraception, refuse abortion, Ok, we're getting into problematic territory... self-flagellate That does it. Any flagellation involving her will obviously need to be delivered by me in person
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