Sashie Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Ok so lately I have been having a lot of trouble trying to figure out if it will ever really work. My current boyfriend lives over 2000 miles away from me and he says that he is planning to move here in a year, but he has been saying that for the last 2 years and I am loosing hope. He is 19 and I a senior in high school. We both really love eachother, but the longer he puts it off the more afraid I am of getting hurt. He comes to see me once a year for only a week or a little more. He has asked me to marry him and we have every intention of doing that, but what really are the odds?
Island Girl Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 It all depends upon the two of you. If you BOTH are committed no matter what (and can maintain that with anything and everything life can throw at you) then the odds are really good. If one or both of you give up then it won't. That said, you are both very young. You haven't even graduated high school yet -- and I know you are going to say that it doesn't matter but it usually does. He has been saying he'll move since he was 17. That is very young to take on a move 2000 miles away with no career skills, place to live, etc. What about college? Are each of you going? If so, then are you applying at the same schools in an effort to remove the distance and allow your relationship to progress that way? If you haven't consider this, please do. Remove the pressure of marriage and just see about plans to be in the same area. But make sure these are realistic plans. Money is an issue for everyone right now. Most couples, even those that have been together for years and ARE married, etc. can have huge issues in the relationship all stemming from money problems. If he did move right now and ended up not being able to make ends meet -- what would happen then? You both have a lot to work out to have a successful life and future individually to be in a position where you can give your relationship the best chances of working out.
Author Sashie Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 I do know that I am very young and that is part of the reason I even asked this question. I know the majority of high school relationships don't last and I know that it will be hard to make it last which is thge point of this thread. We both are applying to the same colleges so we will be able to be closer however I will probably end up going to college before he gets here, but he is asking me to wait. I'm not going to wait because I know that he might not even move here and I also know that if I do take a year off I wont go back. About the marriage thing, I do get that I am only a senior and getting married any time soon is totally out of the question for me until I finish college. There is no pressure of marriage in your relationship it is just something that we have considered and decided that we do want to do eventually. Me putting that we want to get married in here was my way of saying that we are totally commited to eachother.
Author Sashie Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 Sorry I didn't mean to double post.
rudeaims Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 It will take the BOTH of you to be on the same level of commitment. Just like anyone, concentrate on building your FRIENDSHIP. Lovers should be "best friends." The more you look forward to talking to each other, the more you look forward to seeing each other, will be a huge determiner. I can say you got about a 50-50 shot. It will take the both of you A. B I know couples that made it and are engaged or married and couples that could not cope.
Author Sashie Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 Well thank you for the advice. He is my best friend and I always look forward to talking to him. We have always had a long distance relationship so I know we are able to cope I'm just scared that although he is telling me he wants to move here and is going to that he might not. I believe he will it's just like this little thought in the back of my mind that says he wont. Thank you so much for your advice. It always helps to hear about some people who have made it work.
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