Just as we are about to reconcile after a year, he disappears!!!!

[hopefullove]

I'll try to keep this short, although it is complicated... as so many relationships are....

 

I'm 26. and i met my ex 3 years ago, he is my first love, and it was amazing, i've always been a hard girl to pin down, and it was so easy to love him, it was amazing. but my insecurities got in the way, through tantrums, and when i panic, i say stupid things, and had hurt him... as he is a very sensitive guy... who doesnt love easily, and i know through his friends that it was the first time he felt like this towards a girl.

 

after the hurt, we tried to make things work, but, he's not the type to let things go, very proud and stubborn. he said i broke his heart, with the things i said, and in July 2008, he texted me goodbye (after we had actually started spending time together, we spent time on my birthday a month earlier and he bought me a sweet present). I couldnt bare to be in the same city as him with him ignoring me, so i quickly found a new job and moved away. And he moved away back to his country. (to make things complicated, i am canadian, and he is from the UK).

 

we kept in touch time to time, at first, he would blow off steam at me. i still loved him of course, and i feel he did too.

 

Anyway, after a year of not having seen each other, we are going to be back in the city where we met, 3 years ago. we've been chatting the last month, everyday, for the first time. He initiated the conversation actually, funny enough, i was about to try to move on finally and he starts talking to me. He hardly ever chats online, so i know he was making an effort since we chatted everyday the last month (with time difference and all).... we've had great conversations and reminded each other why we loved each other. he even asked me to think of a plan of how we can be together. everything was wonderful but last week, he said he had a bad day, because he doesnt know what to do, and felt lost and sad. i asked him where he was going, and he said back to where he came from... and i asked him, then why he told me to think of a plan for us???? he said I never had input before, and he did all the work so he wanted to see what i had to say, and wasnt going to do it again... i was really hurt and said i guess i know how he feels... that he doesnt want to do it again. he got very offended and said, he meant he wasnt going to carry 2. that i dont deserve to see him again, but he hopes it will help him. I said, that i thought we were moving forward, but it seems like we are moving backwards, which offended him even more, and said our meeting is a BIG deal, and he has extended his stay which will pisss off immigration, and nothing he does is good enough for me....

 

thats how our conversation ended. saying goodnight, and i havent heard froom him since last week. From talking everyday (chat), to now, nothing... I am suppose to be back in the city in 10 days... we had everything planned out, going back to our favorite restaurants, activities, everything.... i put so much hope into it, and i thought he did too, one day in our chatting, he was making breakfast and said he accidently started making breakfast for both of us.... I've been reading that men need their time and space, and he definately is one who needs his space.... but what should i do? I've emailed him and now i intend to stop.... but i am so sad. and confused. it's been over a year and we definately still have feelings for each other, we are both single... i cant believe after a month of rebuilding it will end over one conversation????