confusedcookie Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 So here's the deal, my bf (ex now) left to go back to china (with no intentions of coming back to Canada, where i live) and we had a huge fight. the fight itself right now is irrevelant, but the fact that i asked him, "do you have anything to say to me?" and he said no, and then left made me really upset he could throw everything out the window and could leave without trying to work or reconcile things. Anyways, i did lose my dignity a few times (as you guys will see). So i texted him the day after saying, "hope you had a nice flight, so is this the end, or can we talk it out?" NO REPLY. please no cringe, but yes, and then i called him, he ignored me the first time (or so i think) but picked up the second time. We talked and i basically threw myself at him, saying i saw "so sorry" and that "i'll change for you"... his response? i don't even know if i still love you, don't push me until anything or else i'll just say no to getting back with you... So after the call, i just realized how stupid i was, and i talked it out with my gfs, and when he called me the next day, i told him that i couldn't get back together with him bc he didn't even know if he still loved me and that it was going to be too hard. at that point he replied that he was already thinking of ways to tell his parents that we were getting back together. Anyways, he said he wanted to say as friends and we might have the possibility of getting together later on in our lives. Then, stupid me decided to write him a sappy email about our good times, and how i wanted to thank him, and how we had such a great thing going on, and that i regretted some of the things i did. He had said he was going to call me the next day, but he never did but i fell off the wagon and texted him a few days later, and he calls back at night, 3 calls in a row, but i missed them by accident. then nothing until a week later (i assume after he sees my sappy email) he calls me again to say that he's leaving for a week for some volunteer mission and will call me back after a week. He doesn't call me back after a week, but closer to 2 weeks, but again 3 calls in a row, but i miss them (always calls on weekend, when i'm out, and can't hear my phone!) i actually call him back the next morning, 2 calls to his cells, granted it would be 245am his time, but that was 2 days ago, and he didn't return my calls? should i call him again? but he dumped me! what is going on??? the thing is, if he still loved me and wanted to work things out, i would, but i was really hurt how he could leave presumably forever from where i lived, and he directly told me he didn't want to work things out, but and during the time i beg and plead (he acts like he doesn't give a ****), and when my brains cells are back in place and i say that i don't want to be with a man that doesn't love me, he says that he wants to take me back and was already thinking about telling his parents. Also, he says he'll call, but he won't at the time he says so, so why say it? and why 3 calls in a row, and then nothing... and won't return the 2 calls i rang him??? is he on a power trip? playing games? really wants to get back? or is trying to make my life hell??? lol PLEASE HELP!!!
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Holy drama, batman. May I ask why you thrive on it so? The level of energy required to keep this pseudo-relationship going would be enough to send me running in the other direction. Gees. He's like a drug to you. Put it down for awhile and let yourself work out your own feelings - you don't sound too clear on it, yourself. Why would you expect him to be any clearer than you?
sexibanez Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 So here's the deal, my bf (ex now) left to go back to china (with no intentions of coming back to Canada, where i live) and we had a huge fight. the fight itself right now is irrevelant, but the fact that i asked him, "do you have anything to say to me?" and he said no, and then left made me really upset he could throw everything out the window and could leave without trying to work or reconcile things. Anyways, i did lose my dignity a few times (as you guys will see). So i texted him the day after saying, "hope you had a nice flight, so is this the end, or can we talk it out?" NO REPLY. please no cringe, but yes, and then i called him, he ignored me the first time (or so i think) but picked up the second time. We talked and i basically threw myself at him, saying i saw "so sorry" and that "i'll change for you"... his response? i don't even know if i still love you, don't push me until anything or else i'll just say no to getting back with you... So after the call, i just realized how stupid i was, and i talked it out with my gfs, and when he called me the next day, i told him that i couldn't get back together with him bc he didn't even know if he still loved me and that it was going to be too hard. at that point he replied that he was already thinking of ways to tell his parents that we were getting back together. Anyways, he said he wanted to say as friends and we might have the possibility of getting together later on in our lives. Then, stupid me decided to write him a sappy email about our good times, and how i wanted to thank him, and how we had such a great thing going on, and that i regretted some of the things i did. He had said he was going to call me the next day, but he never did but i fell off the wagon and texted him a few days later, and he calls back at night, 3 calls in a row, but i missed them by accident. then nothing until a week later (i assume after he sees my sappy email) he calls me again to say that he's leaving for a week for some volunteer mission and will call me back after a week. He doesn't call me back after a week, but closer to 2 weeks, but again 3 calls in a row, but i miss them (always calls on weekend, when i'm out, and can't hear my phone!) i actually call him back the next morning, 2 calls to his cells, granted it would be 245am his time, but that was 2 days ago, and he didn't return my calls? should i call him again? but he dumped me! what is going on??? the thing is, if he still loved me and wanted to work things out, i would, but i was really hurt how he could leave presumably forever from where i lived, and he directly told me he didn't want to work things out, but and during the time i beg and plead (he acts like he doesn't give a ****), and when my brains cells are back in place and i say that i don't want to be with a man that doesn't love me, he says that he wants to take me back and was already thinking about telling his parents. Also, he says he'll call, but he won't at the time he says so, so why say it? and why 3 calls in a row, and then nothing... and won't return the 2 calls i rang him??? is he on a power trip? playing games? really wants to get back? or is trying to make my life hell??? lol PLEASE HELP!!! He doesn't want to get back together, period. This one is over, who says they're not even sure if they love you and then move counties to get back with you? Nobody. You are not helping yourself by throwing yourself at him - YOU NEED TO GO NO CONTACT AND YOU NEED TO DO IT NOW!!! Send one last message to say that this is the case so he knows not to call you, and then cut off all ties, his number his pics his everything. I desperately urge you to preserve the dignity you have left, you have made all the effort, you have lowered yourself with the sappy emails and the texts - and even apologised!, now it's time to cut him off and move on because he doesn't see your worth. You'll need time to heal, of course, but STAY NC no matter what. You deserve better. Good luck.
Hkizzle Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Soulsearch is right. He's not playing games with you girl. He's dumping you, and going to another country. You're just not letting go and by not letting go you're creating the game situation by calling and writing him all the time. Don't even try to seek validation, this is clearly not a healthy relationship. This isn't love, this is an addiction.
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