Littlemixtape Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Ok, so I apologize in advance if this turns out to be long, but I feel that the only way to get the best possible answer is to explain everything. Here goes: So I met this guy online. We had been talking intermittently for a couple months and then decided to meet. The first date we actually met up out at some bars when I was out with one of my friends. It was a great, casual date where we talked a lot, joked around, and generally had a good time. After that first date, of course I wanted to text/call him immediately, but as I've learned from my mistakes in the past, I told myself to just wait. So I did. That first date had been on a Sunday and on Tuesday evening he called me to ask if I'd like to go out again. So we made plans for Sunday again. This time we went to a local festival, walked around, had some beer, I met some of his friends that were there, listened to music and such. After, we went back to his place, made-out a little bit and then I went home. I waited until the following Tuesday afternoon and then called him to see if he'd like to go out again. So we made plans for that Friday night. This time we got some drinks and talked, took in a movie, and then went back to his place again where, admittedly we hooked up. So i stayed there over-night and in the morning i realized that I had lost an earring somewhere in his bed. I wasn't overly concerned about it so joked around "well..good luck with that". He walked me downstairs, kissed me goodbye and I said "give me a call sometime" and he said "ok, i will". Later that afternoon he texted me that he had found my earring, to which i replied "awesome! now you have to see me again to give it back if you wanna". and I got no response. Obviously, I was kidding (i tend to be a very sarcastic person, and he knows this because he has the same sense of humor and we have spent a lot of time joking around as such) so after the lack of response I asked "so i am curious...would you like to see me again?" and he replied with a simple "yes". So i said "haha ok then. well i'll leave you be. have a good evening". And that was that. So, that was on Saturday afternoon, and I have not heard from him since. Now, I know he had some pretty exciting plans with friends both Sunday and Monday along with work Monday morning so i really wasn't expecting to hear from him, especially since we seem to have fallen into the habit of leaving a few days in between contacting each other. And really, that doesn't bother me, I tend to get annoyed/turned off when I'm contacted too much. But now my question is...should I call him tonight? Or should I wait for him to call me? Did i completely screw up with the joking texts? I mean, I seriously feel like I don't know how to date anymore. Did I screw up by sleeping with him too soon? I mean, we had talked about it after like "oh man, drinking on the first date, messing around on the second, and now sex on the third. we're off to a great start ha-ha" and he had said "well i think it's a fine start, i dont know how people get to know each other without being intimate at some point" and he seems to be interested because the whole time he was very focused on MY needs and discounting his own. And he's made references to the site we met on, joking around about me talking to other guys and such. So, what should I do here?
BCCA Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I think your question is 2 part: 1 what happened, and 2 what should you do. What happened is anyones guess. Trust me, even as a guy, the exact same thing has happened to me, many times. Starting a relationship is mostly dumb luck. What you should do is nothing. Sit on your hands and wait (unless you really need that earing back). Anything you do is just going to make things worse, unfortunately, and he knows how to get in touch with you.
prettybaby Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Just call. If you read this forum, you'll find that a lot of misunderstandings and frustration with new dates come from stupid back & forth texting that never amount to anything but confusion.
skjd1220 Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Yep, at this point, I think you need to wait for him to contact you. I'd say that he bothered to text you to say that he found your earning is likely a good sign, and you'll hear from him in a bit. I'm famous for scaring guys off by contacting them too soon so I'm terrible at taking my own advice. It's hard but after botching a few date situations recently, I have to think that I was too forward about wanting to see the guys again. I think you've made your intentions known so let him followup now.
Confusedalways Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 If I were you i'd wait until tomorrow night and then send a casual text.. something that reminded you of him or something.
Author Littlemixtape Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Oh my God, haha so immediately (meaning literally 3-5 seconds) after reading these responses my phone rang and it was no other than the guy in question himself wanting to hang out tonight. So, I'll take that as a good sign, yes? Thank you so much for your responses though, and trust me I'll continue to need this site as I just happen to think way too much haha
Confusedalways Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Perfect! This site is great for over analyzers. Good luck with your man!
You'reasian Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Just call. If you read this forum, you'll find that a lot of misunderstandings and frustration with new dates come from stupid back & forth texting that never amount to anything but confusion. add to it, trying to play cool and unavailable.
Thomas X Forever Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Hell yes you screwed up. Sex on the 3rd date? Do him and yourself a favor and stay single. Learn to get some self respect before you try to be with someone else. The fact you joke about giving yourself up completely on the 3rd date, shows how in outer space you are. Honestly, this guy is an idiot if he is still interested in you. Unless he just wants to use you for sex now that he sees you're hilariously easy. That's my best guess of what he is doing. I sure as hell wouldn't care about you if you are willing to have sex the 3rd time you go out. You'd strictly be an object to me. And anyone who is sane.
BCCA Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Hell yes you screwed up. Sex on the 3rd date? Do him and yourself a favor and stay single. Learn to get some self respect before you try to be with someone else. The fact you joke about giving yourself up completely on the 3rd date, shows how in outer space you are. Honestly, this guy is an idiot if he is still interested in you. Unless he just wants to use you for sex now that he sees you're hilariously easy. That's my best guess of what he is doing. I sure as hell wouldn't care about you if you are willing to have sex the 3rd time you go out. You'd strictly be an object to me. And anyone who is sane. Are you serious? I think the last couple of serious relationships Ive had, we had sex on the 3rd of 4th date. Thats common, typical. Are you super religious or something? Ive NEVER heard such a strong opinion from a guy on sex on the THIRD date! When would you think she should give in? Like 6 months in? Im in shock right now, and not entirely sure youre serious. If you are, wow...
Thomas X Forever Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I'm dead serious and I'm agnostic. 3rd date = 3rd time you're hanging out? Are you kidding me? Your relationships all failed probably because you gave everything you had right off the bat. What do your bf's have to look forward to, cancer and old age? Get a grip woman, you'll never have a lasting relationship with someone worthwhile if you keep that up. You won't easily stereotype me either. I'm not ugly, don't have trouble getting women, and I have a college degree. You can change for the better. Do it for you!
D-Lish Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I'm dead serious and I'm agnostic. 3rd date = 3rd time you're hanging out? Are you kidding me? Your relationships all failed probably because you gave everything you had right off the bat. What do your bf's have to look forward to, cancer and old age? Get a grip woman, you'll never have a lasting relationship with someone worthwhile if you keep that up. You won't easily stereotype me either. I'm not ugly, don't have trouble getting women, and I have a college degree. You can change for the better. Do it for you! What a ridiculous response.
dreamergrl Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Just because some choose to have sex doesn't mean they need to change
Thomas X Forever Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Well, based on some of these responses, we can see who has sex after 3 dates. LOL
BCCA Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I'm dead serious and I'm agnostic. 3rd date = 3rd time you're hanging out? Are you kidding me? Your relationships all failed probably because you gave everything you had right off the bat. What do your bf's have to look forward to, cancer and old age? Get a grip woman, you'll never have a lasting relationship with someone worthwhile if you keep that up. You won't easily stereotype me either. I'm not ugly, don't have trouble getting women, and I have a college degree. You can change for the better. Do it for you! Things to consider: 1. Im a guy. So, you might want to rephrase that? Knowing you, probably not. 2. I have to wonder how old you are. Seriously, everyone I've ever known to date in my life (Im 28, and again, a guy) has had sex within the first 4-5 dates at the most. Have you never heard of the 'one month rule'? 3. Sex is not the reason for failed relationships, the people in them are. 4. The rest of your reply is so ridiculous, I cant even come up with a way to respond. In closing, seriously, you either live a very sheltered life, or youre straight up a buzzkill.
Thomas X Forever Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Lol your logic baffles and amuses me. 1 month rule? You sure you aren't 15?
BCCA Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Lol your logic baffles and amuses me. 1 month rule? You sure you aren't 15? Pretty sure my license says 28. And I didnt say I followed it, but it seems as though you HAVE heard of it, which makes your illogical response even more ridiculous.
Gemini09 Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Things to consider: 2. I have to wonder how old you are. Seriously, everyone I've ever known to date in my life (Im 28, and again, a guy) has had sex within the first 4-5 dates at the most. Have you never heard of the 'one month rule'? Wow, within first 4-5 dates? I guess it depends on the types of people you date. Yes, it can sometimes happen, but in general not a good thing. How do you trust the person enough to become intimate? You don't even know them. I won't lie its happened to be ONCE before, but it was a huge mistake.
Thomas X Forever Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Thank you gemini. And BCCA, if you presume I Must be some ugly virgin who is releasing rage over the forum towards guys who "get some", I suggest you go into my profile and look at my pictures. You tell me if you think I have any trouble getting girls. I just choose to live a more respectful lifestyle. This overly promiscuous behavior that is condoned in this topic is childish and frankly laughable.
BCCA Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Dude, I could care less who you are or what you do with women. I just think you were incredibly hard on the girl for doing something that MOST people in their 20's Ive ever know do. If life outside of California is vastly different, that I guess thats the way it is. We all make our own choices about who we sleep with and when, but to tell someone they are wrong and that they need to change is arrogant and just stupid. It makes you sound like a huge douche, whether thats how you meant it or not. And then you add on how good looking you are and how you dont have any trouble getting girls. Please man, no one cares. Youre entitled to your opinions, me to mine, but its unneccesary to act like you know better or are better.
northstar1 Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Things to consider: 1. Im a guy. So, you might want to rephrase that? Knowing you, probably not. 2. I have to wonder how old you are. Seriously, everyone I've ever known to date in my life (Im 28, and again, a guy) has had sex within the first 4-5 dates at the most. Have you never heard of the 'one month rule'? 3. Sex is not the reason for failed relationships, the people in them are. 4. The rest of your reply is so ridiculous, I cant even come up with a way to respond. In closing, seriously, you either live a very sheltered life, or youre straight up a buzzkill. 4-5 dates - sounds about right.
Thomas X Forever Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 If life outside of California is vastly different, that I guess thats the way it is. Ah, california. Now I understand. I should've read you were from there. It makes you sound like a huge douche, whether thats how you meant it or not. Oh I don't mind looking like a douche when I am spreading truth. I have enjoyed speaking with you though
dreamergrl Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Thank you gemini. And BCCA, if you presume I Must be some ugly virgin who is releasing rage over the forum towards guys who "get some", I suggest you go into my profile and look at my pictures. You tell me if you think I have any trouble getting girls. I just choose to live a more respectful lifestyle. This overly promiscuous behavior that is condoned in this topic is childish and frankly laughable. For real... you make sure to nip any 'assumptions' asap. Perhaps there's some truth to them. I could care less what your pictures look like, I wouldn't go near you - your attitude sucks. I don't understand where you get off telling people they need to change or else they will always have failing relationships. I don't see anyone claiming you as a prize. People can make differen't life choices and still have successful relationships. You sure as hell aren't holier then thou.
Thomas X Forever Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Of course I'm not holier than thou. I'm agnostic, Dreamer. You're probably holier than me And yes, my attitude does suck a bit, doesn't it. Oh well, at least I have the dignity of knowing I can resist temptation.
butcher's hook Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Oh well, at least I have the dignity of knowing I can resist temptation. Does that entail slapping your right hand really hard with your left hand? Just wondering....
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