sally4sara Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 As soon as I got home from work today, my SO calls me to say he is coming home and bringing one of his co-worker's kid with him. He had taken my son into work with him to spend time with the other boy since they are near the same age. Could I take them up to the diner and feed them before the other boy has to be at soccer practice? The kid's mom is a full partner at the firm and even though the firm is family owned, she is technically my SO's boss. She can't fire him, but she can be a giant pain in the rear. I said sure just to help him out. We get seated in the diner and it soon becomes apparent that the kid doesn't get taken to restaurants often by some of his reactions to the place, but whatever. He orders a stack of pancakes, side of bacon, and a chocolate malt. I asked him if he always eats like that when his parents take him out and he said (like I suspected) they don't take him out to eat and when THEY go out, he grabs his own dinner from the fridge. So I figured I'd let him do his thing. I did ask if he thinks eating all that will bother him for practice and he assured me he would eat it all and be fine. The food comes and he proceeds to drench the stack AND bacon with half the bottle of syrup like he is some hummingbird/human hybrid! True to his word, he eats it and starts asking for my son's fries and some of my eggs...... Should I have handled this differently? The kid is not even close to chubby, but all that sugar! Had I known he intended to pour that much syrup over all his food, I might have handled it differently but who would have expected that? His mom is such a b*tch, I never considered telling her kid what to do or not do simply because I don't want her whinging on at my SO about it. He was all toe tapping and hyper back to the office though; I know she is going to notice. How do you handle situations like this? Its not like I'm comfortable snatching food away from other people's children.....
Thaddeus Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Hey, it was a real treat for him. Sure, it was a lot of sugar (that amount would most certainly have me heaving in very short order) but it won't do him any harm. Let kids be kids. After reading your post and considering the answer, I did a brief search which asked the question, "does sugar really make children hyper?" Does sugar make children hyperactive?Does sugar make children hyper? Turns out that it's a myth. (I know, I didn't believe it either, but the research is pretty clear.)
Author sally4sara Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 It is funny you said something about sugar/hyper being a myth. My SO came home and said the kid got up to the offices and crashed on one of the couches in their waiting area. Begged off of soccer practice..... I bet his tummy hurt. Now I feel bad even if it was fun for him during the sugary pig out.
Lucky_One Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 We have pancakes and bacon or sausage for dinner often. No milkshakes, because I am too lazy to clean the blender for those too often, and I don't consider those a 'dinner beverage'. I would have probably said "Nah, no malt, but you can have a glass of milk". That's hardly child abuse, and doubtful that he would complain about it to his mother. Sugar doesn't make kids hyper; that's an old wive's tale. The syrup wasn't that big a deal as a one-off; the kid is active and isn't obese. People do tend to crash after eating a lot of carbs, though; I would blame the pancakes, if you have to find a cuprit. Honestly, sounds more like you can't stand the child's mother, and so you are looking at his behavior as something to find fault with his mother on.
silverfish Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I have 2 kids & also work p/t as a nanny for a very intimidating lady. Her kids are well behaved mainly, but if I thought I couldn't say no to them for fear of it getting back to their Mother, there is NO WAY I would look after them. Same goes for kids that come & play, or stay. Children have to learn that different adults behave in ways that arent the same as their parents. For instance, my mum makes my boys take their shoes off when they go to hers. I couldn't care less about shoes on or off in the house. They just do it without being asked now. You shouldn't worry about saying no next time, or give them a choice of say three things off the menu and thats it. Children actually like having boundairies I think!
Author sally4sara Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 We have pancakes and bacon or sausage for dinner often. No milkshakes, because I am too lazy to clean the blender for those too often, and I don't consider those a 'dinner beverage'. I would have probably said "Nah, no malt, but you can have a glass of milk". That's hardly child abuse, and doubtful that he would complain about it to his mother. Sugar doesn't make kids hyper; that's an old wive's tale. The syrup wasn't that big a deal as a one-off; the kid is active and isn't obese. People do tend to crash after eating a lot of carbs, though; I would blame the pancakes, if you have to find a cuprit. Honestly, sounds more like you can't stand the child's mother, and so you are looking at his behavior as something to find fault with his mother on. I don't like the mother but I thought the kid was a delight. Odd eating habits, but nice otherwise. I was just worried about her because she is never happy with how anyone does anything and wondered if there was some other way to handle a situation like that. She bitched today about us wearing him out too much for his obligations. I knew she would find something to say....... While I'd love to invite him along now and then because he mostly gets shuffled off by a nanny or people in the office, the fall out is a big headache.
silverfish Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Really don't worry about her, the kid sounds like he needs a break from her control freakery. Seriously though, if she can't even say thanks I wouldn't bother. It's not your fault he was tired from having a good time, and he's too young to have obligations! Maybe next time say it's best if you don't have him if he's got other things on as you have sooo much fun & you want him to really enjoy it. If not, give her an invoice because you are saving her a lot of money in childcare & you aren't the help!
sb129 Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Ah its a minefield isn't it. She should have been more specific to you if she wanted/ didn't want him to have certain things or eat too much. You can't be 100% responsible for his behaviour/ eating habits, after all you took him out ONCE, she feeds him the rest of the time. I would just tell her if she has such a problem with how you took care of him, ask her not to ask you to do it again.
Author sally4sara Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 Ah its a minefield isn't it. She should have been more specific to you if she wanted/ didn't want him to have certain things or eat too much. You can't be 100% responsible for his behaviour/ eating habits, after all you took him out ONCE, she feeds him the rest of the time. I would just tell her if she has such a problem with how you took care of him, ask her not to ask you to do it again. Well.....that would be part of the problem. She has a habit of not asking at all but rather telling the people in the office what their spouses should do for the firm/her. I don't get asked anything or complained to personally - she would just take it out on my SO. She has been doing this sort of crap to my fiance's mom for years as she is partner in his father's firm. Since WE are not lawyers, WE couldn't possibly be too busy to help out someone as important as her. I use to take care of the large lobby plants and do some lobby floral arrangements because I am a floral designer and my SO is too busy to do all the mincing crap she puts on him and the rest of the staff. I stopped because she started suggesting (of course not directly to me) that I tidy her office and take care of her personal plants. Her kid is a couple years younger than my son and really a sweet kid. Maybe I should be glad for him that she seems too preoccupied to deal with him herself; he would probably not be as nice otherwise.
fawn Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 As funny as that is you always need to check with the parent on what the child can and cant have.
sb129 Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Next time, politely ask her to compile a spreadsheet of things little Johnny is allowed/ not allowed to eat/do/wear etc, just so you can both be crystal clear on it, as you wouldn't dream of making the same mistakes as last time. I bet she will never ask you again.....
carhill Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 If you want to control a child's diet, cook for them at home SO's boss is a shrew. Glad I'm independently poor and don't have to supplicate to that....
Author sally4sara Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 If you want to control a child's diet, cook for them at home SO's boss is a shrew. Glad I'm independently poor and don't have to supplicate to that.... Yup AND she is a twin; the NICER twin at that. The mean twin's child is grown so I don't have to worry about that one so much.
carhill Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 All I can say is exercise your right to choose. Everything in life is a choice
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