sb129 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Do you really want to get into a competition about American English vs Queens English? Cheque is the original way to spell it. You guys changed it later. Like lots of other words! I live in a Commonwealth country, so we still use the queens english way to spell things. Here are some more examples coloUr, favoUrite, criticiSe, alumiNIUM, mOustache, honoUr, flavoUr etc etc etc. This is the right way to spell it in my country- not in yours. And so ends sb129s spelling lesson for the day.
sb129 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Oh and I second the name change issue being a P-A-I-N. I still haven't done it on anything except my drivers licence. And I only did that last week.
sb129 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 I do. I still work under my maiden name, and some bills are in my married name, so far it hasn't caused any problems, it might once we have a baby, but all in good time. I am too lazy to go change everything just yet, no need for passport for a while anymore either.
Lizzie60 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Laurie.. this is a BAD idea.. I never ever had a joint account with any SO .. ever. The best way IMO is to have each your own account.. then if you want, you can have ONE joint account ONLY to pay the bills, etc...
Lizzie60 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Well good for you if it worked out.. I happen to think that it's a very bad idea.. I've heard about couples who had a joint account.. then things went wrong/nasty.. one ran away with all the money.... then what??? Laurie .. it is a BAD idea!!!
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 Do you really want to get into a competition about American English vs Queens English? Cheque is the original way to spell it. You guys changed it later. Like lots of other words! I live in a Commonwealth country, so we still use the queens english way to spell things. Here are some more examples coloUr, favoUrite, criticiSe, alumiNIUM, mOustache, honoUr, flavoUr etc etc etc. This is the right way to spell it in my country- not in yours. And so ends sb129s spelling lesson for the day. Haha, I know, I was just joking. You do put a "u" in a lot of words. This is a weird question but do you have a cool accent?
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 Well good for you if it worked out.. I happen to think that it's a very bad idea.. I've heard about couples who had a joint account.. then things went wrong/nasty.. one ran away with all the money.... then what??? Laurie .. it is a BAD idea!!! Like Touche said..for some couples it may be a bad idea, who obviously have no respect for their partners. I am not marrying a man who would ever do that and I certainly never would. Maybe if you marry an a-hole it would be a bad idea. BUT everyone is entitled to their own opinion regarding the subject. I do agree that one way may not work for everyone. If you have a joint checking account and are in a happy, healthy marriage then why is it a bad idea? It's only a bad idea if you are in a crappy one.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 Well said, LB. Exactly. Also, for what it's worth I can't help but notice that most of the people who think it's a bad idea are no longer with the people they had their separate accounts with...just sayin'. Yeah, I noticed that too! Maybe it's because some of the reasons why people have seperate checking accounts is because they don't trust their partner not to take their money or don't want to share. I realize they may be trying to protect themselves, but if it is forever then why would you need protection from your partner? Oh footnote: I know not all couples have seperate checking accounts for those reasons, but those like Lizzie do it because of a lack of trust. How can you be married to someone who you don't trust?
norajane Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 LB, you can just add your name to his checking account. Both of you will need to go into the bank branch, you'll need to fill out a form so they have your social security # and legal signature on file, and the account will change to a joint checking account. This will, of course, impact your annual income tax filing if there is interest earned on the account, but I'm assuming you'll be filing jointly anyway once you get married. If you're not getting married until next year, then one of you will have to be the primary account holder, and that person will be responsible for paying income tax on any interest earned on the account until you get married and start filing jointly. My parents have a number of different accounts in different banks, and all of them are joint accounts, except for IRA accounts. Hell, they even have my sister or me named on their accounts as well, so that we can access the accounts...just in case something bad happens. They've always managed their money together, and combined their finances - it was never a question of his and hers, always pooled. But, they are from the "old country" so it's always been a pooled resources for a common goal kind of marriage. The key is that they communicate about their money matters regularly. Like, all the time. That's so they both are always aware of where money is going and how much the bills are each month, how much they are saving, deciding to make larger purchases and when, etc. They both look at the statements and make sure their direct deposits are accurate and the right amounts have been deducted for bills and whatnot. There are no surprises about what's happening to their money and how much is in the accounts or how much is taken out when and for what. Neither of them controls - decisions are joint just like the accounts. If you can't talk about money openly, easily, and frequently, it might be better not to combine your finances until you can.
norajane Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Yeah, I noticed that too! Maybe it's because some of the reasons why people have seperate checking accounts is because they don't trust their partner not to take their money or don't want to share. I realize they may be trying to protect themselves, but if it is forever then why would you need protection from your partner? Oh footnote: I know not all couples have seperate checking accounts for those reasons, but those like Lizzie do it because of a lack of trust. How can you be married to someone who you don't trust? Well, this board is full of people who trust their spouses, and then are shocked to find out they are banging some woman at work, and are spending money taking her out to dinner and buying her gifts. Or that they are visiting strip clubs and plying the ladies with cash. Or they become alcoholics and spend tons of money down at the pub. All kind of stuff happens, and all of them got married believing it would be forever and they trusted each other. It's not that far-fetched, and there are no guarantees. All you can do is trust your instincts and pay attention to what's going on so you notice any strange spending patterns or behavior.
sb129 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 LB, are you familiar with the HBO show "Flight of the Conchords"? My accent is similar to Bret and Jermaines on the clip. (I can't believe that episode needed subtitles I didn't think we were that difficult to understand!) Not sure if you would call it "cool".....its similar to an Australian accent but lazier and less twangy.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 I have a question for everyone. How ahould we work how we spend our money. Like he uses his creit card for everything and pays it off at the end of the month. I put everything on my debit card and when I get paid transfer money into my savings account. I keep track of my money by looking at my online banking statement and he does the same thing but checks both his checking and credit card statement and puts his receipts in the computer file he has. Now how would we work that. I plan on getting a debit card on his account because I use it like crazy. So how can I keep track of the balance by checking the credit abank account statements?
Lizzie60 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Well, this board is full of people who trust their spouses, and then are shocked to find out they are banging some woman at work, and are spending money taking her out to dinner and buying her gifts. Or that they are visiting strip clubs and plying the ladies with cash. Or they become alcoholics and spend tons of money down at the pub. All kind of stuff happens, and all of them got married believing it would be forever and they trusted each other. It's not that far-fetched, and there are no guarantees. All you can do is trust your instincts and pay attention to what's going on so you notice any strange spending patterns or behavior. Well said Norajane.. my thoughts exactly.. I should copy/paste this thread somewhere for future reference..
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 well would i need to get a credit card in my name on his account? and would they have to approve my credit also? i use my debit card for everything because I never carry cash and I hate credit cards. I thought of a solution though. we keep my current checking account and put a set amount in each month that will just be for my spending. we then give a limit to money put on the credit card for both his spending and our joint spending like going out to dinner. The at the end of the month we pay it off. It will also encourage us not to spend the full limits because we will then have more in our checking account. We would then each have an debit card to pay for joint bills and food and gas.
sb129 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 We have a joint credit card account with a card each too, and we use that for all spending and pay it off every month, as there are fewer bank fees and you get reward points for using the card. You guys just need to sit down and discuss some figures and go from there. What you suggested sounds like a reasonable idea though keeping your own account for your own personal spending makes sense.
hotgurl Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Yep, that's exactly what we do. We've had a few free cruise fares from the points on our card. It's great. We use the card on stuff we'd be paying for anyway. Instead of checks I always use the card when I can. I pay the insurance with it, our cell phone and other phones with it, etc. etc. Oh and grocery shopping. I only use my credit card, not a check. We pay it off every month also. And the points keep accumulating. We keep checking every month because we want to take a cruise for our 15 year anniversary next June. We should have enough points for at least one cruise fare if not both by then. If not, we'll go anyway but it's looking good so far! wow I don't know how you do it. I am so bad with money.
sb129 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 Discipline! Every week when one of us gets paid, I pay the mortgage/bills, then work out how much has been spent on the CC that week. I then transfer that amount from our current account into a savings account, and at the end of the month we use the savings account to pay the CC off. Any left over goes into a different savings account that isn't touched. To do this, we discussed a monthly budget at the beginning of the year that we try to stick to. We are very aware of how much spare cash we have and discuss larger purchases before we make them. We rarely go over our set monthly budget, and if we do for an unexpected reason we cut back the following month to make up for it or pay it out of our other savings account.
sb129 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 PS- the rewards points make it SO worth it, esp when you are paying for stuff you would have to buy anyway. Our is a little account that we can either let accumulate till we want to swap the points for something big, or we can use the points as regular money at the supermarket and other shops. Its a great scheme.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 So we figured out what to do. I am not going to get a credit card in his account, as I am not good with them. I'd rather spend money that I know is there so I can keep better track of it. We plan to use the credit card for everything we do together (movies, dinners, vacations, ect.) and he will charge his personal spending to the credit card. I plan to use my debit card on our account to pay for my personal spending and joint expenses. His bills will come out of the checking account. Every week we will sit down and go over the bills, as he has computer software in which he can download his bank statement and credit card statement straight to his computer and put it in a spreadsheet. Hopefully it will work!!!
JamesM Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 I have a curious question, and I do mean it simply out of curiosity. If you have been living together, why is it now that you need to figure out how to do finances together? Not having cohabited prior to marriage, I really don't know, but didn't you already have this discussion when you moved in together? Why should there be any big changes from what you have been doing....other than combining names on accounts?
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 I have a curious question, and I do mean it simply out of curiosity. If you have been living together, why is it now that you need to figure out how to do finances together? Not having cohabited prior to marriage, I really don't know, but didn't you already have this discussion when you moved in together? Why should there be any big changes from what you have been doing....other than combining names on accounts? We had plans to combine accounts when we got married. The reason we are doing it now is because we are engaged and it will be easier to pay for wedding things and save money with the accounts combined.
Star Gazer Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 We had plans to combine accounts when we got married. The reason we are doing it now is because we are engaged and it will be easier to pay for wedding things and save money with the accounts combined. That doesn't really answer the question. Why did you wait until now to figure out finances? Why didn't you figure that out upon moving in together?
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 That doesn't really answer the question. Why did you wait until now to figure out finances? Why didn't you figure that out upon moving in together? I don't think I understand your question. We figured out a way to deal with finances upon moving in together with having seperate bank accounts. We agreed that we would combine accounts when we got married but did not discuss exactly how we would work the combination of accounts upon moving in together. We are deciding to combine accounts early, therefore are figuring out a way to do that.
JamesM Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Laurie, this comment is what I am referring to... So we figured out what to do. I am not going to get a credit card in his account, as I am not good with them. I'd rather spend money that I know is there so I can keep better track of it. We plan to use the credit card for everything we do together (movies, dinners, vacations, ect.) and he will charge his personal spending to the credit card. I plan to use my debit card on our account to pay for my personal spending and joint expenses. His bills will come out of the checking account. Every week we will sit down and go over the bills, as he has computer software in which he can download his bank statement and credit card statement straight to his computer and put it in a spreadsheet. Hopefully it will work!!! I am wondering why this type of configuration wasn't worked out before not including the combined account. It seems that you are starting all over with your financial structure when all that is needed is to either keep accounts the same or combine them. To me it seems that you are deciding allover again who pays what. I think it is an excellent idea that you sit down and go over finances weekly. This will keep spending under control and build a stronger marriage... guaranteed at least financially. Two questions...who will pay the bills? And why does he have a separate account while you do not have one? Or did I read that wrong...does he have a separate bank account or a separate credit card? And if it is a credit card, why can he spend money you do not have for personal items while you can only spend money you have? We have two bank accounts...savings and checking. We both have cards and access to them. We also have one credit card account with each of us having a card. Outside of that she has a couple of store cards, and I have two. These are rarely used. But the bills for all cards come to us and get paid out of our account. And yes, this is my opinion...we look at it as a partnership. All bills and all personal spending comes out of our accounts. I think if I had an account for my personal spending and she had to take her personal spending out of the account that is used for bills, then this would seem unfair. If he has a separate bank account (and I may have read this wrong), how is it decided how much goes into HIS account? How much goes into the "our" account? Does all of your money go into the "our" account? Do you have as much say as to what gets spent out of his account as he does? IMO. if he gets an account, then you should, too. Otherwise, you should get equal access to his account. Actually, I think he should not have an account if there is an our account. If he gets to use the credit card for personal spending, then he should trust you to do so, too. As some thought to consider, it may be best if NO one uses a credit card except for emergencies, and even then it would be better to have an emergency fund built. Credit is a dangerous thing, and I say that as one who is still getting out from under excessive credit card use. In no way do I mean to be rude, but 19 years of marriage has taught me quite a bit, and it was earned one gray hair at a time. Just my 2c.
allina Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 I don't think money is something that many couples discuss in great detail when they're living together. Even if they are serious and plan to marry on day the conversation rarely goes past "how much can you afford for rent?" My SO and I have our own accounts. I have no idea what we will do once we're married. I'm fine either way. We both know each other's financial situations well from applying for an apartment in the past, and now for a mortgage. We have one credit card with both of our names on it because we had to get is to use at Costco I've never used it because I haven't needed it, but I can. We have decided that if we have children that I will stay home for as long as we find fit, and we discussed how much money we want to have put away at that time. In terms of money we also discuss vacation plans, mortgage size and large purchases but we're not really about the whole "my account my money" thing.
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