Snowwhitequeen Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 This is a very long involved story but I'll try to give you the short version. I had been dating this guy for about 5 years now. I'm 40, he's 45. I broke up with him in April. We've had tifts before but we always went back to each other. This time, we didn't. I tried to contact him several times in May and June and didn't get any answer from him. Finally in early July I said I was going to be at a certain place and if he would meet me there I'd really appreciate it. Well he showed. It went well but he told me that he doesn't want a girlfriend anymore ( I am mean no one not just me ) He's very wrapped up in his band right now. He also said it was "too soon" to be friends. We left it at he was going to call me. He never did. We have a mutual friend as well who is always telling me that he is constantly asking about me, what I'm doing, has she seen me, is she dating anyone...you get the idea. In fact, they went out about 2 weeks ago and he talked about me for 3 hours straight. I'm pretty sure that he is still very much in love with me but is afraid of something. I just don't know what to do. I am in no contact with him AND the mutual friend right now so she can't pass on any info as to what I am doing. I think this might make him call me since he doesn't have her to pump for info anymore. Do you think that this period of no contact will work? Has anyone else ever had a similiar situation where your ex kept asking about you but didn't act on it? Why does he keep saying it's "too soon"? Too soon for what?? Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Sweetcheripie Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Just taking a guess but I would think when he is saying "he needs more time" - it is to get over you. You were a big part of his life for 5 years but it is over now and he is taking the time he needs to let that settle in. You should do the same. You had an up and down relationship for a long time and that can be addicting but it is over now. Continue the no contact. If you really love him, respect his space and let him move on.
Author Snowwhitequeen Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Did I fail to mention that I am still very very much in love with him and desperately want him back?
Sweetcheripie Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I understand and I'm sorry. But the truth is you broke up with him. Sounds like you two broke up and got back together a lot and this time he is done. He is 45 years old - he is over the drama. If you TRULY love him, let him be. Learn from this experience and don't break up with someone you love. Learn to work through the problems. Stable relationships are not as "thrilling" but much much better in the long run.
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