Snowwhitequeen Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 This is a very long involved story but I'll try to give you the short version. I had been dating this guy for about 5 years now. I'm 40, he's 45. I broke up with him in April. We've had tifts before but we always went back to each other. This time, we didn't. I tried to contact him several times in May and June and didn't get any answer from him. Finally in early July I said I was going to be at a certain place and if he would meet me there I'd really appreciate it. Well he showed. It went well but he told me that he doesn't want a girlfriend anymore ( I am mean no one not just me ) He's very wrapped up in his band right now. He also said it was "too soon" to be friends. We left it at he was going to call me. He never did. We have a mutual friend as well who is always telling me that he is constantly asking about me, what I'm doing, has she seen me, is she dating anyone...you get the idea. In fact, they went out about 2 weeks ago and he talked about me for 3 hours straight. I'm pretty sure that he is still very much in love with me but is afraid of something. I just don't know what to do. I am in no contact with him AND the mutual friend right now so she can't pass on any info as to what I am doing. I think this might make him call me since he doesn't have her to pump for info anymore. Do you think that this period of no contact will work? Has anyone else ever had a similiar situation where your ex kept asking about you but didn't act on it? Why does he keep saying it's "too soon"? Too soon for what?? Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Touche Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Ok, first of all, don't take what the friend said as truth. I doubt he went on about you for 3 hours given his actions. She's probably just trying to make you feel better and maybe get you two back together. It won't work. Secondly, he's saying it's too soon to just be friends because you're still emotionally hung up on him. And he might be a little too. But you're clearly WAY more invested than he is, I'm sorry to say. He seems open to just being friends...but nothing more. You're 40. Stop wasting your time with this Peter Pan type. Look ahead because this is clearly over with I'm sorry to say.
Author Snowwhitequeen Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 No, he really did go on and on and on. This is the way he is. My friend isn't the type to mince words. If he was over me, she'd say it. She wouldn't sugar coat it for me. Trust me there!
Touche Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 No, he really did go on and on and on. This is the way he is. My friend isn't the type to mince words. If he was over me, she'd say it. She wouldn't sugar coat it for me. Trust me there! Ok, well if that's what you think fine. But you're old enough to know that men who really want to be with you, don't leave any doubts. His actions and his words don't match up. I gave you my best advice. You can choose to ignore it and continue to waste time with this guy thinking he's really into you, OR you can let him go and find a man who really wants to be with you...'cause this guy doesn't. He's already told you and shown you that, but you're not listening.
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