He doesn't love me anymore..

[abeautifulmessthisis]

Me and my boyfriend went out for about 20 months, and it's the most rollercoaster-iffic relationship i've ever had, and think i'll ever experience. But it was amazing and we were so in love. He's also my first serious boyfriend, and I'm his first serious girlfriend, even though he's mad many more relationships before me. But I'm the only girl he's ever really fallen for and was serious about. He's brought me home to his family, and he was also so in love with me. Which is why I don't understand how he's just giving everything up like this.

 

We broke up about a month ago because I wasn't supportive of some of his decisions, when I was just trying to protect him from something I didn't think he was ready for. Not even that, we just fight alot about really stupid things and I guess it all lead up to it. He became really unhappy with me and I asked him if wanted to break up and he said yes and he was really sorry.

 

I've been begging for him back (pathetic I know) and every time I think I could let go he'll text me or something. But it's mostly me asking him to hang out. For the first couple of weeks he asked me to give him time, and space. But now he just makes it very clear that he doesn't want to be with me again, at least not right now or anytime soon. But he also said he wants to marry me in the future when we've both grown up? I'm so confused. The way I see it is he just wants to sleep around and get all that party stuff out of his system before he settles down with me.. I'm not sure. The other day I called him and asked why we couldn't be together and he says that from the way we fight and all the times I've said stuff to hurt him he doesn't see this relationship as long term anymore and he just thinks he'll find another girlfriend. But then he'll ask me to come over and stay the night. And we still sleep together, but I guess that's my bad.

 

I really miss him and I want everything to go back the way it was, but I don't think it's going to happen. Sometimes I feel like it was really special and it's worth fighting for, but sometimes I think I'm just grieving because I lost something that was mine. I don't know what to do. I'm scared to stop talking to him because I can't bear the thought of him sleeping with another girl, which is why I'd rather sleep with him so he won't sleep with anyone else.. there goes my dignity. I ask him why he sleeps with me, and he says he's sorry and he's just used to cuddling and being intimate with me, but no longer wants a relationship.

 

I know I keep saying I'll get over him and I'm done, and I'm over it. But I'm not. And I don't know how long it's going to take. I just don't know what to do. I'm so scared to think of him sleeping with another girl just to get over me. And I tell myself from the way he was acting he's not worth it anyway. But I can't seem to believe my own words. I still want to stay friends with him, he was an important part of my life and he says he wants to as well. But I no longer want to chase someone who wants nothing to do with me. What can I do? Love is such a bitch. Please help.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

 

 

 

But now he just makes it very clear that he doesn't want to be with me again, at least not right now or anytime soon. But he also said he wants to marry me in the future when we've both grown up? I'm so confused.

Thats him offering you some hope for a future so he can continue to string you along and get in your pants when other girls wont put out!

 

The way I see it is he just wants to sleep around and get all that party stuff out of his system before he settles down with me.. I'm not sure.

BINGO!

But then he'll ask me to come over and stay the night. And we still sleep together, but I guess that's my bad.

Yea that is bad you have just lost any dignity or respect you had from him more then likely fat chance of getting that back...

. I'm scared to stop talking to him because I can't bear the thought of him sleeping with another girl, which is why I'd rather sleep with him so he won't sleep with anyone else.. there goes my dignity.

You honestly think that by you sleeping with him hes going to forgo any other offer of sex from other girls? your very naive at best.

I'm so scared to think of him sleeping with another girl just to get over me.

That ship has more then likely already sailed I'm sure hes already tried out his new found freedom and why not hes officially a free man with a ex on the side who's there waiting/and willing with open Ahem arms lol sorry...

And I tell myself from the way he was acting he's not worth it anyway. But I can't seem to believe my own words. Love is such a bitch. Please help.

Well you got one thing right hes not worth it hes using you and playing kick ball with your feelings emotions hes manipulative at best now its up to you if you still wanna be used in this way best of luck with that...

[dashing daisy]

You know what is going on, but you don't want to believe it.

 

This is so hard, but for now you need to let him go. Anything you want--getting back together, being friends, or getting over him -- will result from you letting him go. That means, you don't talk to him for a while. You have asked him repeatedly what he wants--and right now, it isn't you. Maybe he doesn't know what he had, maybe....any other reason. But for now, you need to block his number, you need to not contact him. Whenever you think about him, you need to distract yourself. Do anything else. But not him.

 

This doesn't mean you won't get together again. But this is the best thing you can do for yourself, and whatever relationship you had and could have again. Take a break. A real break.

 

Just don't talk to him for a while. You will think about him, you will worry about him. You will. That is life. But it will get better. It will get easier. And you will make it through.

 

You deserve better than what is going on right now. Take it one day at a time, and focus on yourself.

[abeautifulmessthisis]

Thank you so much dashing_daisy, that really helped me. It's so hard, I keep making excuses for his actions but when really it's not that complicated. He's just done with me.

I really have no clue how to let someone go. I mean, I've let my other ex's go but that's just because the relationship ended badly and it's always easy to get over them when you hate them. But this one's different. I don't want to hate him. He's never done anything horrible to me. It just didn't work out.. something I never believed in. I always thought relationships ended because someone falls out of love or cheating, not just because things didn't work out. Maybe I'm naive, but it just sucks. He's a huge part of my life and I really want to keep him in it, one way or another. And if that means being just friends, I'll take it. It's so hard not to talk to him, because I want him to know I'm still there, but at the same time I want to give him space. How can I do both without looking clingy and desperate and bitchy?! One of the reasons he left me was because I wasnt there for him one time when he needed me, evne tho I was just trying to protect him from taking on too much responsibility and screwing up. I know I made a mistake and I'm trying to fix it now, but apparently it's too late. And he said he knows I'm just trying to fix things because he's my first real boyfriend and I dont want to lose him and I'm only being supportive of something I wasnt before because I don't want to lose him. Argh!!