broken_promises Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I have been struggling a lot with the fact that losing this relationship also means that I lost so much sexual trust. Prior to being with my now ex, I had a lot of trouble being present during sex and always wanting to have it. With him, however, I always wanted it and felt loved and I placed so much sexual trust in him. It makes me so sad to think of having to be with a new person and having to work so hard to regain that sense of trust all over again. I also feel like, unlike in past relationships, I was always willing to have sex and his interest in it wained as he distanced himself. This evokes a lot of sadness as well thinking that this was the first time I was ready to be a completely willing partner and it didn't even matter. I even kept track of my cycle so that I knew when he could safely cum in me without getting pregnant. I always felt like I was giving him something special with that and I just don't understand how that all couldn't matter to him. Is someone new to have sex with that important? How does that outweight developing sexual trust with someone? Everything from getting tested for each other to being willing to be sexual when they want to be should matter more than the intrigue of someone new, the desire to explore, etc. I am so afraid I will never be able to regain that level of trust I had with him. It was such an important development for me in a relationship that to have to start over with that again feels devastating and just not worth it.
BW007 Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I know what you mean.. It'll happen with someone else, its just going to take a while. Oh, and do you know what they call people who use the cyclical method you mentioned....they are called parents:D...no really.
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