lovely12 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Okay, so I have had this online love affair for 6 months. And I have truly fell in love with the guy. He told me from the beginning that his wife had died some years ago and I even saw an obituary ad on her. Okay, so today I get this email and it is her. She says she is alive!!!!!! I am like freaking out! I don't know what to do!!!!!!
torranceshipman Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Send her the obituary as that is some major messed up craziness that she needs to see. Then if she asks send her all emails/tell her everything and never speak with him again. If he wrote her obituary to carry on the pretense that she is dead so e can have online A's, then that is about as weird as it gets!
Lizzie60 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Okay, so I have had this online love affair for 6 months. And I have truly fell in love with the guy. He told me from the beginning that his wife had died some years ago and I even saw an obituary ad on her. Okay, so today I get this email and it is her. She says she is alive!!!!!! I am like freaking out! I don't know what to do!!!!!! What kind of ad was this? I don't get it..
Mino Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 eeekkkkk:eek: Maybe the ad was from the first wife, and you got a call from the second wife? To think he made an ad like that is just "SICK" So I hope her sake that she is wife number two... Run fast!!
fooled once Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 What a sick sick man. I hope you realize he is nothing but a liar. Ugh... Good news is, you haven't really met him, right? For all you know, he is really a 14 year old kid.
Devil Inside Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Wow! That is some intense and crazy stuff. If you can verify this person is his wife, then obviously you need to end the relatioship. I'm sorry.
Meaplus3 Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Oh my goodness, now that is very odd. Has this woman seen the Obit? WOW.. really shocking. Mea:)
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I would forward her all of his emails plus the obituary. I doubt you are the only person he is doing this with, and she needs to know.
2sunny Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 what did she say when she contacted you - and what did she think she was accomplishing by doing so?
Lizzie60 Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I still have a hard time with the orbituary ad... ours are always posted in newspaper.. What kind of ad was that? newspaper? ???? OP this question is for you.
whichwayisup Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 If this post is actually real, I say just delete and block this guy. Forget him. It was online and only for 6 months. He's not worthy of your love, attention or tears. Silence is golden.
jj33 Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Oh honey how creepy. It doesnt matter if its real or if its him masquerading or if its someone else. You DONT need to know. All you need to do is block him. And chalk it up to a bad internet dating experience. At this point even if he says no its not my W its my overprotective housekeeper, you dont care. Something is really wrong and other than for sheer curiousity its nothing you need to figure out. BLOCK HIM But I must admit I would be curious. And a note NEVER fall in love with someone on line. Its a fantasy. You only know a small part of a person on line or even on the phone. Much chemistry that develops that way is just a projection of who we need the other person to be. Until you have met someone in person, you really dont know ANYTHING about them. Trust me I learned the hard way. Internet dating is a great way of building castles in the sand. If someone doesnt meet you after exchanging a few emails, then its not worth it. A lot of guys build up all sorts of stories online to amuse themselves, they call, they send pictures but really they are not available.
Meaplus3 Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 A lot of guys build up all sorts of stories online to amuse themselves, they call, they send pictures but really they are not available. Yes.. this is 100 % true JJ. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I have been there too and it's NO fun. You really need to be careful with falling for someone online. Lot's of fabrication out there. I know I sure learned the hard way. Try and put this behind you. The guy is not worth any more of your time. Mea:)
whichwayisup Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 The mind has a way of creating it's own fantasy/reality and the thing is, the feelings feed it which makes it worse. Online all you have to go on is what the person is saying.. Words..Even if chemistry is felt, it still isn't 100% real. I mean, what if the person on the other side of the screen has major BO issues, or bad breath? Chronic flatuance.. Or is a criminal. You don't know, that's the thing, but your mind and your heart won't let you "go" there because of all the great feelings you're feeling. This guy is playing you for a fool. Again, block and delete him!
NoIDidn't Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I still have a hard time with the orbituary ad... ours are always posted in newspaper.. What kind of ad was that? newspaper? ???? OP this question is for you. Obituaries are usually posted in Newspapers or on the funeral program themselves. He likely showed her one of these - or even the online version from a local newspaper.
NoIDidn't Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Oh honey how creepy. It doesnt matter if its real or if its him masquerading or if its someone else. You DONT need to know. All you need to do is block him. And chalk it up to a bad internet dating experience. At this point even if he says no its not my W its my overprotective housekeeper, you dont care. Something is really wrong and other than for sheer curiousity its nothing you need to figure out. BLOCK HIM But I must admit I would be curious. And a note NEVER fall in love with someone on line. Its a fantasy. You only know a small part of a person on line or even on the phone. Much chemistry that develops that way is just a projection of who we need the other person to be. Until you have met someone in person, you really dont know ANYTHING about them. Trust me I learned the hard way. Internet dating is a great way of building castles in the sand. If someone doesnt meet you after exchanging a few emails, then its not worth it. A lot of guys build up all sorts of stories online to amuse themselves, they call, they send pictures but really they are not available. I agree and I can imagine that the OP is very disconcerted by this discovery. It can really be a doozy finding out something like this. I hope she goes cold turkey and acts like she never met him - online or otherwise.
Author lovely12 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 You know what I am talking about when I say an obituary ad. It states the persons name and their day of death etc....
Author lovely12 Posted August 27, 2009 Author Posted August 27, 2009 You know. It's not that easy to get over. I mean, I feel like I really got to know him and trust him until this happened. It's going to take awhile but noone ever expects for something like this to happen, ya know.
Author lovely12 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 You know I really do think that I need to be owed at least an apology. But I get nothing. Absolutely nothing!!!!!!
skywriter Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Maybe we all owe ourselves an apology. Even as different as our stories may be, we may have all made unwise choices, in that we betrayed ourselves and possibly other unknowing innocent individuals. Listening to our inner voices , (conscious, whatever you call it), pulling up the stakes, moving on and letting go, is as sincere an apology as could be expected. Afterall, the possibility that this person has fabricated the death of his spouse. Why would he give you an honest apology?
Lucky_One Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 A guy who will lie about the death of his spouse isn't exactly the guy who will apologize for bad behavior. He probably doesn't apologize to the cats when he drowns bags of kittens, either.
Author lovely12 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 You are so right!!!!!! And guess what he is doing. Instead of taking the time to apologize to me, he is searching for other girls to date!!!!!
Lucky_One Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 How do you know that? Are you still in contact with his wife? What did she say when you told her that he told you she was dead?
Author lovely12 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 We met on a chat site. He is still on it and it shows all the girls that he looks at! No, I wouldn't dare talk to the wife. I don't want to get into that sort of mess!!!!!!
Author lovely12 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 The wife said "I am alive and very healthy" and she also called me a slut.
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