SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Boyfriend doesn't want me to get fat what does everyone else think. We don't want you to get fat either, dear...
Author Britney23 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 This guy did not say it would bother him if she was 200lbs, he said 132lbs. If he was dead serious, that is a NORMAL weight, unless she is a flipping midget. Why would a guy in their right frame of mind consider this overweight? Did I miss something there? Maybe so...... I'm not a midget I'm 5 foot 5 so average height. I asked him why he said 132lbs and his reasoning was that if he said a weight where i was actually fat than i might not worry about my weight until i got to that weight. I dont think he would honestly notice let alone leave me if i got to 132lbs but if he did than i dont want to be with someone like that anyway! i've been almost 132lbs before and i still had guys after me so its his loss!
loveslife Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I'm not a midget I'm 5 foot 5 so average height. I asked him why he said 132lbs and his reasoning was that if he said a weight where i was actually fat than i might not worry about my weight until i got to that weight. I dont think he would honestly notice let alone leave me if i got to 132lbs but if he did than i dont want to be with someone like that anyway! i've been almost 132lbs before and i still had guys after me so its his loss! Britney, I'm your same height and have been heavier than 132 lbs and that has not stopped guys from being attracted to me. Stop worrying so much about your weight. You're fine.
Trialbyfire Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Britney, the little devil has hopped onto my shoulder again. He's telling me to post this! In about a month's time, when your b/f has forgotten about it, tell him you've gained 18 lbs and are getting worried about it (of course you haven't). See how he reacts, then slam dunk him for being a media influenced moron, if he says anything silly like "I'd noticed this"!
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 And he said "how fat are we talking?" And I said you tell me. So he said "60 kgs" (132 pounds) btw I am currently 50 kgs (110 pounds) and 165cms (5'5) we're just as shallow as each other, but i can't stop thinking about it... what does everyone else think. Actually if the source I found on line is correct your about 15 pounds underweight for your hight the ideal weight being 125 pounds for a women of 5'5 go a head have that slice it wont kill you I promise! I do agree tho you two do sound a little shallow..
Author Britney23 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Britney, the little devil has hopped onto my shoulder again. He's telling me to post this! In about a month's time, when your b/f has forgotten about it, tell him you've gained 18 lbs and are getting worried about it (of course you haven't). See how he reacts, then slam dunk him for being a media influenced moron, if he says anything silly like "I'd noticed this"! haha that's a brilliant idea, i'm definitely going to do that! i bet you will ask me to get on the scales to prove it or something like that.. Loveslife: thank you and i love your name on here!
Jersey Shortie Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 It seems the bar has been raised for women the past couple generations, and lowered for men. Women now have to remain unrealistically thin, bring home the bacon, take care of the house, the children and still have sex like a male's wet dream Men get to be paunchy, will also bring home the bacon but don't have as much responsiblity as they once did because of the female working force, and can make unreasonable demands. Britney, tell him something like this: "don't worry hunnie, if you start out not making enough money, we will just make sure you work extra hard to make the amount of money I deem good enough for me to remain with you". Seriously, he will not like that. I would make the same demands on his income that he would make on your weight. Women, especially younger ones, often have an irrational fear that if they gain even a marginal amount of weight, whether through pregnancy, aging, or just not having as much time to donate to body maintenance when in a relationship, that their guy will instantly kick them to the curb. Naww, they won't kick us to the curb, they will just turn into themselves, porn and what-not, thinking about the type of unrealistic woman they really want that doesn't exsist in instead of learning to adapt, love and appreciate what a woman really is.
Phateless Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 This guy did not say it would bother him if she was 200lbs, he said 132lbs. If he was dead serious, that is a NORMAL weight, unless she is a flipping midget. Why would a guy in their right frame of mind consider this overweight? Did I miss something there? Maybe so...... Very true! At 132 lbs you would still be hot, so that weight is nothing to worry about.
boogieboy Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 haha that's a brilliant idea, i'm definitely going to do that! i bet you will ask me to get on the scales to prove it or something like that.. Loveslife: thank you and i love your name on here! NOOOOO!! Dont do that! do not play games with your bf, he will resent you....she was kidding!
Author Britney23 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 NOOOOO!! Dont do that! do not play games with your bf, he will resent you....she was kidding! Oh I thought it was a good idea... oops. Yeah games are never a good idea in case they back fire.
boogieboy Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Dont worry Britney, it will take some time, your bf will support you, but you will get over your self image issues. It will just take alot of inner work on your part. You have alot to offer, you will gain more confidence, and You will come to a point where you will say "what was I worried about? I'm plenty hot!".
Author Britney23 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 It seems the bar has been raised for women the past couple generations, and lowered for men. Women now have to remain unrealistically thin, bring home the bacon, take care of the house, the children and still have sex like a male's wet dream Men get to be paunchy, will also bring home the bacon but don't have as much responsiblity as they once did because of the female working force, and can make unreasonable demands. Britney, tell him something like this: "don't worry hunnie, if you start out not making enough money, we will just make sure you work extra hard to make the amount of money I deem good enough for me to remain with you". Seriously, he will not like that. I would make the same demands on his income that he would make on your weight. Naww, they won't kick us to the curb, they will just turn into themselves, porn and what-not, thinking about the type of unrealistic woman they really want that doesn't exsist in instead of learning to adapt, love and appreciate what a woman really is. Hmm not sure if i would tell him that. We're both ambitious and career orientated which is one of the things that I love about him and drew me to him in the first place. He's an engineer and very good at what he does and already has high hopes to make a decent income. In any event, I finish my law degree at the end of the year so there is a good chance that I will be earning more than him anyhow, which is preferable in my opinion. Any other ideas? I think women are the ones who put the pressures on themselves most of all, not men. I would love to do all those things you mentioned except clean the house, he can do that! And your last paragraph is a pretty big generalisation don't you think? I am sure there are heaps of guys out there that can learn to adapt, love and appreciate what a woman really is. Not sure what porn really has to do with anything?
Author Britney23 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Dont worry Britney, it will take some time, your bf will support you, but you will get over your self image issues. It will just take alot of inner work on your part. You have alot to offer, you will gain more confidence, and You will come to a point where you will say "what was I worried about? I'm plenty hot!". Aw thanks, that is so nice! I think everyone has insecurities though especially when they are young or around my age. I've read that once you hit your late twenties/early thirties you wish you had your body when you were younger and appreciated it more rather than worried and complained that it wasnt good enough. I used to think everyone was looking at me and judging me but I'm starting to realise that people are too worried about themselves and what people think of them that they aren't even looking at me. This is such an important thing for everyone to remember.
GorillaTheater Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I used to think everyone was looking at me and judging me but I'm starting to realise that people are too worried about themselves and what people think of them that they aren't even looking at me. This is such an important thing for everyone to remember. Gospel truth, and I agree. Just out of curiosity, what field of law are you thinking about going into?
Author Britney23 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Gospel truth, and I agree. Just out of curiosity, what field of law are you thinking about going into? I'm working 2 days a week in a small law firm at the moment that does mainly family and criminal law so i'll be working their fulltime next year. Can't wait! What about you, are you studying?
GorillaTheater Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 family and criminal law Yikes! I don't have the ability to sufficiently emotionally detach to work those areas well. I do Higher Ed law (which of course includes a fairly wide mix). Sorry to threadjack, I was just being nosy.
Author Britney23 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Yikes! I don't have the ability to sufficiently emotionally detach to work those areas well. I do Higher Ed law (which of course includes a fairly wide mix). Sorry to threadjack, I was just being nosy. Cool that would be very interesting. I love hearing people's personal problems it makes the job so much more interesting for me.
AAlike Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 And your last paragraph is a pretty big generalisation don't you think? I am sure there are heaps of guys out there that can learn to adapt, love and appreciate what a woman really is. Not sure what porn really has to do with anything? THANK YOU!!! seriously, as everyone else has said, don't blow it out of proportion. you're hot for each other now it seems, everything else is kosher - cross any potential bridges when you come to 'em.
prettybaby Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 It amazes me how silly crap like this can turn into sensitive topics with a couple. I bet you he never even really thought about the possibility of you gaining weight in the future, and since the whole conversation was totally random and casual, he just answered whatever flew through his head without thinking about it twice. He probably didn't see this kind of discussion coming. Give the guy a break. You put him on the spot and only wanted to hear one answer. What were the odds of him blurting out exactly what your wanted to hear? Most guys like us skinny, it's no newsflash. And really, most loving men don't ditch us as soon as their child comes along and that a few pounds pile up over the years. Point is, you turned some hypothetical long term scenario into pointless drama. An issue was created out of something that's not even there.
amerikajin Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 It amazes me how silly crap like this can turn into sensitive topics with a couple. I bet you he never even really thought about the possibility of you gaining weight in the future, and since the whole conversation was totally random and casual, he just answered whatever flew through his head without thinking about it twice. He probably didn't see this kind of discussion coming. Give the guy a break. You put him on the spot and only wanted to hear one answer. What were the odds of him blurting out exactly what your wanted to hear? Most guys like us skinny, it's no newsflash. And really, most loving men don't ditch us as soon as their child comes along and that a few pounds pile up over the years. Point is, you turned some hypothetical long term scenario into pointless drama. An issue was created out of something that's not even there. However blunt this response might be, I more or less agree with this one. And you're right: what partner is honestly going to be cool watching their once healthy, attractive partner turn into a fatty? Mind you, I'm not demonizing fat people, but the reality is, they're not attractive physically. If the OP had been fat to begin with, she probably wouldn't even be dating her man. And please, spare me the nonsense about how men/women are bad for placing an emphasis on physical beauty, or how there are people with disabilities -- it's much different when we're discussing a condition that cannot be changed or controlled. Obesity, on the other hand, is almost always preventable or manageable in adulthood.
Isolde Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 5'5 and 132, which the OP's bf considered fat, is average weight, and not unhealthy unless you have a tiny frame. I'm much smaller than this but even I know that is not fat on someone with an average frame. That said, the bf was probably just talking carelessly/at random and didn't literally mean "I'd dump you if you gained 15 pounds" but still, it does seem weird.
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