tami-chan Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Hi Indiagril! Stop beating yourself up. Falling in love with someone married is not the worst thing anybody could have done. Many have done worst. You have to be kind to yourself. You chose to walk away because it was not good enough for you. That takes a lot of courage and belief in yourself. Now, stand on your decision. Be firm....Take good care of your physical health...eat and sleep well, exercise, and allow for grieving to take place. Go shop! <just don't max your credit/debit card> It will get easier....
NoIDidn't Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Hang in there; hang in there; hang in there. Please don't answer any of his calls. Please don't open the door should he come to it. Please don't respond to any email. Please don't respond to any text. I remember break ups where I would literally not stay home and turn off my phone to avoid contact with the guy because I meant to end it when I ended it. The 13 missed calls from him are just the tip of the iceberg. Do beware that he might try to show up on your doorstep to force you to speak to him. I really hate that he replied to the email saying "goodbye" and then turned around and truly started showing disrespect for your decision. Stay strong, indiagirl. There are many people here when you need to post and vent.
jasminetea Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Well done Indiagirl, you're amazing! Now how about blocking his number(s)?
Author indiagirl1 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Not sure about blocking his number. Still haven't switched my phone on from last night when I turned it off after 13 missed calls from him. I know that is the right step though. Day two and I feel numb, rejected, weepy, lonely, sad, stupid and angry. I miss him so much. But I want my life back and want to be happy again - my friends and family are constantly saying I have 'lost my sparkle'. I want it back. Thanks so much for your support. x
jasminetea Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Focus on the fact that you will get your sparkle back. Heavens! Its not even been a week yet! NoIDidnt is right about the disrespecting you. If you needed anymore proof that you made the right decision.... Why don't you consider telling one of your friends? I'm sure they're concerned for you and would love the opportunity to help you through this. No matter what their thoughts on affairs, you've finished it and they'll support you with that decision.
joyz Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Just sent the email ending the affair - he's responded saying he understands and Goodbye and he loves me. I can't stop crying. I know I have done the the right thing but just can't get my breath for crying. Please help me read some comforting and tragic books like the chicken soup for the soul series, and "the kite runner". it will kill time and put your pain in perspective. find books to read, it really helps.
Gamine Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Whenever I felt the pull to waffle and turn around I would remind myself of this one simple straightforward fact... Inasmuch as it hurts now... it will hurt more if I stick around. Whatever you are going through now could have been tenfold if you let it take more years... more investment... and you may actually begin to convince yourself that you could manage to do without all of the beautiful things a man can give you when he gives you his heart. See him like the worst pain walking in shoe leather. He cannot comfort you if he's the one stabbing you.
Author indiagirl1 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Thanks guys, I am really going to take your advice. When I said I had lost my sparkle I didn't mean in the past 24 hours - this is something that has been said of my behaviour over the past couple of years. I was outgoing, confident, independent and happy go lucky - I am now the opposite and family and friends have noticed remarking on how distant and depressed I constantly seem. I do recognise that that is how I have become and it's not someone I want to be. I don't blame him for this, it's the nature of the relationship - the loneliest relationship I have ever been in. Well I am going to get my sparkle back and when I do I'll be sizzling so the world better watch out! Phew, that caffeine did give me a buzz! Feeling 2% better already.
Devil Inside Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Just checking on you. 2% is a great start...way to go. You will get that sparkle back. You will learn to love yourself...and never put yourself second again.
oysterman Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Also be careful about the next relationship...I have been where you are and it can be easy to slip into another A due to how good it feels to be 'loved' again once the pain of this subsides. So glad you were able to muster the strength to break away.
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