eccehomo Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Hi all, Just found this forum. I wonder how you can stay anonymous on here, it will probably be hard Me and my gf broke up in a strange way about 3 months ago. We are 26 and 24, lived together for 2 years, after dating for a short but very intense time in a foreign country (where I am originally from) a year before that and staying in contact long distance. We've had contact through IM for a very long time before that, since about 9 years ago. The last 6 months of the relationship hadn't been too good. I didn't feel comfortable because we weren't moving towards marriage. She indirectly asked me to marry her earlier, but I wasn't sure I was ready to commit, and I grew frustrated as time went by (my work permit depends on the marriage, so it had a huge influence on my mood). I think this is the main cause of why it started going downhill. In any case, our second lease was up, and summer approaching, where we would both be apart any way for work. I wasn't sure I wanted to live with her still, and in frustration said stuff along those lines, about one month before the lease was up. After that, I saw her mood shift. The last months had been tough for both of us work-wise, and I hadn't shown much care, basically signaling I thought the relationship wasn't going anywhere. She was still loving towards me despite that, until I verbalized it. In the end, when she first talked about us not working out, I really disliked it despite me agreeing. I figured our time apart would clear things up. It did for me, I realize now how much I love this girl and I would gladly and happily marry her. It is too late now. I think she has moved on, and thinks it's too little too late, and in contact we have had comes up with neat lists of reasons why she doesn't want to be with me, and says I brought it on myself. However, despite her saying she doesn't want to be with me ever again, I believe she still likes me a lot, she just doesn't want to be hurt again. It's 3 months since we physically separated, and (my mistake?) we have had contact since then including me calling her a lot of times when she did not want to speak with me, and some frustrated emails. We have spoken on the phone a couple of times, and she always ends up crying. She had wanted space and I didn't give it to her, because my stance towards her had changed I thought we could talk about it. I should have left her alone, but I missed her too much. I asked her to meet me now we're both back in the same town again, but she says I should stop pressuring her, and she'll tell me when she's ready. I am ready to commit to her now fully, which I never was. She is very angry that it took this for me to realize this, and she cannot forgive the way I treated her (indifferent and rude at certain times). She doesn't want to be hurt again, and at this point seems ready to not see me again forever. I still have some hope though, because my attitude has changed towards her, and life, in the past 3 months, which were very intense for me traveling etcetera. Any ideas? She will contact me when she's ready, not sure what that means. When she has so gotten over me she won't be upset anymore? Or is there some hope. Anyway, this really, really sucks.
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