tkgirl Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 So I'm going on day three of being on match and I have to say so far I hate it. First of all, what happened to guys actually taking the time to write an email? I've gotten a few dozen winks, a dozen or more so "he's interested" from when they send my profile to a guy's "daily 5". Oh wait, I did get one email from a guy that actually looked half way decent, but when I read it it was obviously meant for someone else... like it was a continuation of some banter that made no sense at all. I just deleted it... I know it's only day three but this is getting depressing. And it's making me miss the guy that I thought I was over and am now friends with but... And now I want to see him even more and I can't! It would just be so wrong. I've been really trying to let him go... I thought this would help but instead it has the opposite affect. I feel like crying...
BobSacamento Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Day 3....seriously? Get back to us by month 3.
dreamergrl Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Ah, the wonderful world of online dating. It's only day three girl! Pull it together! And pick up your flipping phone once and a while
2sunny Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 i swear that match baits people. that has been my experience... that they have "fake" profiles that trail around and send you winks and he's interested messages just to keep you hanging around. when i discontinued by subscription all of a sudden i was flooded with emails that said i had mail and messages. it seems to me that it's just a ploy by their marketing department because when i did sign back up - there wasn't anyone truly asking me out or sending any mail pertaining to any real interest in seeing me. JMHO...
Author tkgirl Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 yeah.. I realize I have to be more patient. It's just that this isn't my first go around with match.. I tried it about two years ago and met "the guy" within the first hour! and the rest is, um... history. I just thought I may have similar luck again... or at least someone cool that will actually take the time to read my profile and write me a little email. It's like all these guys "wink" at me, favorite me etc. but don't have the cojones to actually attempt some sort of real contact. Wow... I just realized how ridiculous that sounds! Oh well, I signed up for three months so maybe I'll meet someone cool by the time it's up... or at least find another "friend"... ha! I crack myself up! :lmao:
CarrieT Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I lost all faith in Match when I started reading the numerous lawsuits being filed against the site... A lot of bait-and-switch it seems.
redhighheels Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 You're going to need a tougher skin if you want to make it out alive. People don't call brutal for nothing. But good luck, hope it works out for you sooner rather than later.
Vet Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I'd beware of any site you have to pay for. Craigslist is better in my opinion. Make an interesting, unique post in the W4M section, and I guarantee if you keep an open mind, you'll find a date. Just know that you'll also get a deluge of trash too, and you'll have to pick through it to find the diamonds in the rough.
Art_Critic Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Try actually searching for a guy and email him.. it might just work and cut out some of the BS of weeding thru winks and emails.. If you aren't doing some of the first emailing then the chances are a good bit slimmer of finding that guy pass your profile..
Scottdmw Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I've been online dating for years on several different sites. I write personalized e-mails to women all the time, and get a response rate of typically about 1 in 20. It puzzles me to no end because I feel like I’m a really good guy, I put a lot of time into my photos and profile etc. So, believe me, you're not alone in having difficulty with this medium. I would say keep with it, but don't invest too much hope until you've actually met someone in person. Just think of it as something fun you do for a distraction. Scott
Author tkgirl Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 I lost all faith in Match when I started reading the numerous lawsuits being filed against the site... A lot of bait-and-switch it seems. nah.... I think match is legit. I had pretty good luck on it the last time I did it (two years ago) met some nice guys etc... yep, in person and everything! it's just that I think there's a lot of people on there that don't pay for it and they can only send and receive winks... like they can't actually email each other unless they pay for it. Hmmm... maybe that explains all the winks and no emails... bunch of cheapos that don't want to pay! Try actually searching for a guy and email him.. it might just work and cut out some of the BS of weeding thru winks and emails.. If you aren't doing some of the first emailing then the chances are a good bit slimmer of finding that guy pass your profile.. yea... maybe it's time I get some cojones and try winking back or emailing somebody. I have to say though that so far the guys that have showed interest (?) really do nothing for me. I guess I need to get more pro-active about this? I've been online dating for years on several different sites. I write personalized e-mails to women all the time, and get a response rate of typically about 1 in 20. It puzzles me to no end because I feel like I’m a really good guy, I put a lot of time into my photos and profile etc. So, believe me, you're not alone in having difficulty with this medium. I would say keep with it, but don't invest too much hope until you've actually met someone in person. Just think of it as something fun you do for a distraction. Scott thanks Scott! it's good to hear a guy's point of view who's been there too. Yea... like I said, I payed for three months and it's only been 4 days now.... I can't get too discouraged yet.
MSUE Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I put myself on match before I met my current BF(we met at a bar)...I got a ridiculous amount of responses...gotta play with your profile and catch phrases and make sure you post a sexy but classy pix..ideally a profile...I did go out on 2 dates only though...nobody really caught my attention..but my BFF swears by it however she meets jerk after jerk
Shygirl15 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Match is simply horrible. I had a series of very bizarre encounters before I met my current guy. I had one date that still haunts me to this day. The guy turned out to be overweight (apparently the pics he sent me were very old) plus jobless. He was the victim of economic recession, he said. Anyhow, he took me to Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner then to a movie where he suggested we share a large drink (using the same straw, I mean). I have never been humiliated this much in my life.
BCCA Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Match is simply horrible. I had a series of very bizarre encounters before I met my current guy. I had one date that still haunts me to this day. The guy turned out to be overweight (apparently the pics he sent me were very old) plus jobless. He was the victim of economic recession, he said. Anyhow, he took me to Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner then to a movie where he suggested we share a large drink (using the same straw, I mean). I have never been humiliated this much in my life. YIKES! That is terrible! Here is a guys perspective on Match: Ive sent probably 100+ emails out, and got probably less than 5 responses. Ive had several girls wink at me, and then not answer my email, and the 2-3 women I was fortunate enough to meet did not look anything like their profiles and were a little 'off'. Its funny to hear you complain about lame emails, I can say that I personally spent a fair amount of time on the ones I sent, made them personal, and thought they sounded good, and they hardly ever got responded to. They say you should expect to be on an online dating site for 2+ years to meet someone...
Author tkgirl Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 YIKES! That is terrible! Here is a guys perspective on Match: Ive sent probably 100+ emails out, and got probably less than 5 responses. Ive had several girls wink at me, and then not answer my email, and the 2-3 women I was fortunate enough to meet did not look anything like their profiles and were a little 'off'. Its funny to hear you complain about lame emails, I can say that I personally spent a fair amount of time on the ones I sent, made them personal, and thought they sounded good, and they hardly ever got responded to. They say you should expect to be on an online dating site for 2+ years to meet someone... yea... good ol' match. I guess the first time I tried it I had one of those one in a million things happen. Like I actually met someone the first hour... totally cute, really sweet, funny etc.... we emailed back and forth for a bit... then talked on the phone and met up the following night. Instant sparks and I fell hard! and now two years later he's still very special to me, but just as a "friend". I guess I'm hoping something like that will happen again but maybe I should chalk that one up to "beginner's luck" or something....
CarrieT Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 TKGirl, yes, I think that was total beginners luck. I admit that with the help of folks on this board, I changed my profile over the weekend and am getting a few more responses so there might actually be coffee meet-and-greats (we aren't calling them dates yet) in the future.
Author tkgirl Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 TKGirl, yes, I think that was total beginners luck. I admit that with the help of folks on this board, I changed my profile over the weekend and am getting a few more responses so there might actually be coffee meet-and-greats (we aren't calling them dates yet) in the future. good luck CarrieT! yeah.. maybe my profile could use a little tweaking too... maybe I should re-check it? it is a little long but whenever I try to make it shorter it starts sounding too "generic", know what I mean?
CarrieT Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Try Fuego Connect, a new, high-end, SF-based dating site. www.fuegoconnect.com Just went there. Incredibly slow site and when I filtered to find men in their 40s who are passionate about the arts, I received four results back to my search and one was a dog, literally (Golden Retriever).
boogieboy Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 YIKES! That is terrible! Here is a guys perspective on Match: Ive sent probably 100+ emails out, and got probably less than 5 responses. Ive had several girls wink at me, and then not answer my email, and the 2-3 women I was fortunate enough to meet did not look anything like their profiles and were a little 'off'. Its funny to hear you complain about lame emails, I can say that I personally spent a fair amount of time on the ones I sent, made them personal, and thought they sounded good, and they hardly ever got responded to. . Ive gone though this, online dating is such a pain in the ass for guys. TK, The reason guys send only winks, besides not paying for their profiles, it takes waaaaay too much time read each profile and write personal emails to a whole lot of women that wont respond at all. I actually got better results from a personal sounding mass email. So it is better for you to be pro-active and just email the guys you want. Good thing for you is...most guys on the net dont get alot of emails anyway, so they wont care if a woman sends a "hello, your profile is intriguing to me....etc etc" mass email that has been sent to 100 other guys. Give it a try, see what happens. I dont think any of these guys care if you dont read their profiles like women do.
stepka Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I had terrible luck with match. I thought it was my age or something, so I'm glad to know it wasn't just me. Once I got a wink from a very handsome man, so I went to look at his profile and was interested in what I saw. I emailed him and then looked at the list of "if you liked this guy, you might like these too. . ." and there was his identical twin! Everything was the same, except his name and I know that guy wasn't paying for 2 profiles. Of course he never answered, and it's like he was too good to be true anyway--movie star handsome, Portuguese, and rich. The one man I did meet and date more than once turned out to be married. I finally got disgusted and pulled my profile before my payment was expired b/c I figured I don't need to be dating right now--I think I got back in too soon after hubby left, for a distraction and to see if I'm still attractive, but frankly, dating is awfully hard on the ego and I don't need that right now. Now I'm distracting myself with more constructive things.
torranceshipman Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I had a great experience with online dating - lots of cool dinner dates, etc...2 of my friends married people they met on Match...
Gamine Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 When I was thinking about separating from my husband (and partially to teach him a lesson) I put a profile up on Match. I don't know if it has to do with my age group (48) or not, but I received 60 (yes 60) emails from men in a 12 hour period of time. My profile was very conservative and spoke of religious/spiritual views, my pets, and my work. I pulled it down because I felt actually overwhelmed and almost traumatized by the sheer volume. Put it up again and had nearly the same amount of responses again in the same amount of time. My husband had cheated on me a year earlier. It was an effective eye opener for him concerning my ability to date... Perhaps you should reveal more about your inner workings as a person... what you value... how you see life... Believe me, my profile sounded like a mix between Donna Read, and Mother Theresa. So much for guys looking for meaningless relationships...
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 TKGirl, I'm guessing that Match.com and the whole of online dating are microcosms of the entire dating world. Indeed the numbers are very kind to women in the equation but it is probably too easy to be swept away by things on the surface (cute photo, well-crafted prose that sounds blissful but doesn't spell-out the meaningful details). It really is OK to (demand) a guy who can truly *take* you on a date, and who can afford to share a life with you should that opportunity arise. I can sympathize with the male who sends 100 e-mails of interest and doesn't attain even five responses, but the women on the other sides of these numbers do certainly have a hand in determining their own success or failure in the online world. Are you going to suggest that somebody with 100 applicants doesn't have any semi-princes among the 100? Of course it takes some amount of time to attain 100 applicants, but when you're a woman in the online dating scene, the numbers are in your favor, so if you present yourself appropriately you'll soon have a number of suitors from which to choose. Keep your confidence up and that will help for the time being.
Author tkgirl Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 i haven't tried match.com but on the free ones i really had no luck and didnt try too hard lol too bad you're in colorado (im in az!) slayer was just here with manson, all that remains, and others! good music! hey AZ isn't too far from here jk.. something tells me I'm probably too old for you (just turned 44!) and I'm not really into Slayer.. just thought it made the South Park pic I did of me funnier. I'm more of a old school 80's metal chic.... HALEN RULES! I had a great experience with online dating - lots of cool dinner dates, etc...2 of my friends married people they met on Match... yeah... I had a great experience the first time around too... albeit painful cuz the guy I really liked from there basically broke my heart... c'est live! And yea, I had a friend that just married a guy she met on match too... I definitely believe fairy tale endings do exist! When I was thinking about separating from my husband (and partially to teach him a lesson) I put a profile up on Match. I don't know if it has to do with my age group (48) or not, but I received 60 (yes 60) emails from men in a 12 hour period of time. My profile was very conservative and spoke of religious/spiritual views, my pets, and my work. I pulled it down because I felt actually overwhelmed and almost traumatized by the sheer volume. Put it up again and had nearly the same amount of responses again in the same amount of time. My husband had cheated on me a year earlier. It was an effective eye opener for him concerning my ability to date... Perhaps you should reveal more about your inner workings as a person... what you value... how you see life... Believe me, my profile sounded like a mix between Donna Read, and Mother Theresa. So much for guys looking for meaningless relationships... hmmm... but Mother Theresa I ain't... as awesome as she is! but guess what y'all!!!! I just got the mother (lol) of all emails.. I have to share it with you! it's too much.... "Wow how nice to find you on here as a Match i am new here .....well i am grateful and i must say your profile and your self look beautiful.. ..among looking through all profile i find yours very interesting and i would like to get to know you..since life is too short....well you look pretty and special....how are you doing today?Am happy I've just found you! I do not believe to my eyes. It seems to me that you are not same with all this doleful women.To love best is to love like never been hurt before.And never let distance be a problem for am ready to relocate for the right person.There's something in you... some spark of vitality. something that hard to describe in words but it differs you. First of all I thought "Forget, such kind of woman is surely already busy", but then I thought that I loose nothing so why not to try to get to know you. i` joined this site a few days ago looking for my soul mate and i must confess, you are the only woman to at tract me here. so i was very happy to have you now...am good at yahoo you can get me on yahoo at email address *****@talkmatch.com try and email me so that i will reply by telling u more about my self::: also we can chat share pics and more take care and talk to you later...your presence is adore...let's get to know more about each other" oh boy... and even worse in his profile he says he is 49 but looks at least 60... and not that there's anything wrong with being 60, but my age cut off is 50 so... curious, eh? and the part how I'm the only women to attract him... too much! ugh.... I'm not ready to give up just yet but this about sent me over the edge.
boogieboy Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 "Wow how nice to find you on here as a Match i am new here .....well i am grateful and i must say your profile and your self look beautiful.. ..among looking through all profile i find yours very interesting and i would like to get to know you..since life is too short....well you look pretty and special....how are you doing today?Am happy I've just found you! I do not believe to my eyes. It seems to me that you are not same with all this doleful women.To love best is to love like never been hurt before.And never let distance be a problem for am ready to relocate for the right person.There's something in you... some spark of vitality. something that hard to describe in words but it differs you. First of all I thought "Forget, such kind of woman is surely already busy", but then I thought that I loose nothing so why not to try to get to know you. i` joined this site a few days ago looking for my soul mate and i must confess, you are the only woman to at tract me here. so i was very happy to have you now...am good at yahoo you can get me on yahoo at email address *****@talkmatch.com try and email me so that i will reply by telling u more about my self::: also we can chat share pics and more take care and talk to you later...your presence is adore...let's get to know more about each other" ugh.... I'm not ready to give up just yet but this about sent me over the edge. Now THATS one to mass email women with. (You do know this is a mass message right?) Im going to use just a quarter of it and see what happens.....
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