JimmyB26 Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I feel like there are different definitions of NC. On this site, it seems to mean absolutely cutting someone off. I understand that that is the most dramatic and severe distancing effect, but I feel like as some people have said, it presents too big of a hurdle for a dumper to overcome in swallowing their pride and asking someone to come back. I've read that NC just is shorthand for not initiating contact. Letting them come to you. And getting back to them after 24 - 48 hours. Showing them that they are not a priority in your life. Being cool, level-headed, and not giving them the benefits that a significant other would get. Thoughts?
Thaddeus Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Depends why you're doing NC. If you do it in order to draw that person back, there may be some validity to not initiating contact and not leaping on the phone call/email/whatever as soon as it arrives. I think it's very rare that doing that actually gets you the intended result, but sometimes, maybe, ya never know... But in the vast majority of cases, at least on this board, NC has precious little to do with the other party and everything to do with moving forward and healing. It's kind of funny this comes up at this time, because there was a young lady that I used to see about a year or so ago and we ended up NC-ing one another. Not because anything bad happened, nobody cheated on anybody and there was no big blow-out argument or anything of the sort. It's just that we had enjoyed our time together but we also both knew that it wasn't going to last long. I got a text from her not two hours ago. "Hi, how's it going? Let's get together for coffee this week." I kid you not. I haven't responded yet because I don't know how the week is going to play out but I'll probably call her later this evening and set something up (I'd rather not text... typing on those little keys is a pain-in-the-ass).
selena_cat Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 even though i find it hard to do complete NC,the trying hard not to make him a priority,knowing how much i'm not his priority. The getting back after 24 or 48 hours is very important,even he noticed that i'm not waiting by the phone or online when he IM's. the thing is not to make them a priority and find other things in your life that will fill you and put them on a backburner like they do you.
frustrated&sad Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 If you've been dumped in a cruel manner and you just "KNOW" that it is over, NC in this case means absolutely no contact of any sort. It is horrible, difficult, and maddening at times. Eventually, you start to heal and you realize it was the best thing you ever did. Rather than delay the pain, you just condensed it into a shorter period of time.
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