angelface78 Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I have kept NC since the breakup towards the end of June. It is now over 2 months. Last week i found out he is with somebody. He is 28 and she is only 19. His sister told me. He met her at the part time job he got to save money for us to get married. We were together 4.5 years. Anyway i am crying my ass off as i write this in the last hope of not doing something stupid. I recently saw her myspace..hers is not private, but his is. He does not know that i know this that he is with someone. I dont know if this girl is a rebound or what??? She is only 19 with a two year old son. She has no parents here, they live in Mexico she lives here with her sister. I dont think she has a car and works at like a water park?? On her myspace i saw the comments he has written to her like where he says "we are going to have a blast tonight sweetie". I know i should not be looking but i cant help it. I know im just hurting myself ;( Who is this man? We have been through so much....how did he just forget me. We were engaged. I want to call him or email him on myspace and let him know that i know about this ****. When we split up i asked him are we over he said "i dont know if we are we need to think and i cant say its over for good cause i dont know the future" im in such a depression. I feel like i was nothing to him. Like he just forgot about me doesnt think about me and will end up marrying this girl. SHOULD I CALL HIM OR EMAIL HIM LETTING HIM KNOW THAT I KNOW???? ;(
wow123 Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Sounds like he is using her to fill the void. She is obviously not "take home to mom" material. It's a perfect situation for him. Safe, no need to think about any kind of commitment. I'm sorry you're going through this, many of us have come to realize our ex's left us and jumped right into a new relationship to replace us.
Author angelface78 Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 That is what everybody tells me. His myspace even says single on it. His sis told me that his parents will not allow that girl into the house. But what should i do??? Should i break NC and call or email him..so he knows i know???
EricaH329 Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Don't do that. If his page is private, i'm sure he doesn't care if you know or not. Calling him will just confirm the fact that you are still hung up on him, and even though you are, you don't want him to know that. You want to make it seem as though you are absolutely fine, that you deserve better *which you DO*. If I were you, I would feel sorry for him. That relationship isn't going to last, and even if it does, it will be a very unhealthy one. Especially because there is no way he could completely be over you, and he is already in another relationship or fling or whatever. And, in all honesty, who cares what he is doing?? You shouldn't! You have much more self respect for yourself than to sit around wondering what this loser who broke your heart is doing. Get on with your life girl! Go out, meet new people, do and see new things! Start becoming a better you!! (Not saying you aren't already great). PS- In case you are wondering, staying in NC makes them want you alot more than if you were to keep contact. For some reason, it works that way. But... like I said before... who cares? Not you! This is the perfect opportunity to see him for what he is. A loser! Who obviously does not have very good morals or standards for himself. You *are* better than that!! Go and show that to the world!!
sexibanez Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Don't do that. If his page is private, i'm sure he doesn't care if you know or not. Calling him will just confirm the fact that you are still hung up on him, and even though you are, you don't want him to know that. You want to make it seem as though you are absolutely fine, that you deserve better *which you DO*. If I were you, I would feel sorry for him. That relationship isn't going to last, and even if it does, it will be a very unhealthy one. Especially because there is no way he could completely be over you, and he is already in another relationship or fling or whatever. And, in all honesty, who cares what he is doing?? You shouldn't! You have much more self respect for yourself than to sit around wondering what this loser who broke your heart is doing. Get on with your life girl! Go out, meet new people, do and see new things! Start becoming a better you!! (Not saying you aren't already great). PS- In case you are wondering, staying in NC makes them want you alot more than if you were to keep contact. For some reason, it works that way. But... like I said before... who cares? Not you! This is the perfect opportunity to see him for what he is. A loser! Who obviously does not have very good morals or standards for himself. You *are* better than that!! Go and show that to the world!! This is the BEST advice you could have possibly hoped to receive, I know it's hard as hell but you need to try moving on and STAY NC!!! It doesn't matter an iota whether he knows that you kno he's with someone or not. It's over, she is clearly 'easy meat' for him - sooner or later he will have to come to terms with his loss. But by then hopefully you will have found the strength to move on to somebody who deserves your love. Like me. Just kidding . Be strong.
SimplyIzzy2010 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Please don't do it. I did that and all he did was laugh at me. It was the worst pain imaginable. Keep your head held high like I wasn't able to. Be strong and be proud!
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 What do you hope to gain by breaking NC?
D-Lish Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Don't confront him or contact him. You'll only feel worse if you do. You just found out about this- so obviously it's a shock. Your best course of action is to process it and let it sink in. Telling him how hurt or angry you are will only reinforce the power he has and diminish how far you've come with your NC. I'd stop checking her myspace- and stay away from his as well. The constant checking will only inhibit your healing. Focusing on what he is doing will just keep you stuck. Your best revenge is for him to think you just don't care. Confronting him will only tell him you still care.
moo Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I don't think you should keep NC to prove to him that you are strong or so that he won't know that you are hurting. So what if he knows you are hurting? You don't have to put on a front for him...who cares? However, I DO think you should keep NC because it is the best thing for you. Everytime I break NC, I am a wreck in the coming days. My ex could care less about me. Jumped into a new relationship in less than a week. I didn't even know we were broken up. Everytime I break NC, I think "this time he will really understand my pain and apologize." No...it never happens. STill, I want to break NC all the time, to get my "fix" of him. But I know how disgusting, selfish and whorish he is, so I have to keep NC. I might stumble and fall and still break it, in spite of what I am writing, but I don't plan on breaking it. I want to stay strong.
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