EricaH329 Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 When my fiance and I broke up, I felt like I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know what to think, where to go, who to talk to. It seemed as if nothing was working, and I couldn't deal with all my emotions. I had gone away for a few days of seclusion, and before I had left, my mother handed me a book to read. It's called "How To Survive The Loss Of A Love". I was open to any suggestions at that point, and decided to give it a try. Needless to say, i've read that book about 20 times. It really put things into perspective. Upon returning home from my trip, I was enlightened. I saw things differently, and understood them more than I did before. I'm not going to write out the whole book here, but I will put in some of the things that I felt were most important to me. There are some poems, and some explanations as to what you are going through. The stages of recovery Recovering from a loss takes place in three distinct -yet overlapping- stages.They are:shock/denial/numbnessfear/anger/depressionunderstanding/acceptance/moving onYou will survive! You will get better.No doubt about it.The healing process has a beginning, a middle, and an end.Keep in mind, at the beginning, that there is an end. It's not that far off. You will heal.Nature is on your side, and nature is a powerful ally.Tell yourself, often, "I am alive. I will survive."You are alive.You will survive.life is becoming. less livable. with each new person I meetI wonder, is this is the dayfate has chosen, or is fatewhat I have chosen to get methrough the day? lovingis the mostcreativeforce of the universe. the memory of loving,the mostdestructive. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First I have to getoutof love with you. SecondI have to remember: don't falluntil you seethe whitesof theirlies. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I shall miss loving you. I shall miss the Comfortof your embrace. I shall miss theLonelinessof waiting for yourcalls that never came. I shall miss the Joyof our comings,and Painof your goings. and,after a time,I shall miss missinglovingyou. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To give you up. God!What bell of freedomthat rings within me. No more waiting forlettersphone callspost cardsthat never came. No more creative energywastedin letters never mailed. And, after awhile, no more insomnia,no more insanity. Some more happiness,some more life. All it took was giving you up. And that took quite a bit. I highly recommend getting this book if you are going through a tough time trying to cope. Again, it's called "How To Survive The Loss Of A Love" by Harold H. Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove, & Peter McWilliams. It's an old book, but I found a lot of very usefel tips in helping to get over the loss of my love. Good luck!!
Exit Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Yikes, not sure I want to check that out, that poem or whatever it is practically tore my heart out.
SimplyIzzy2010 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Exit, it really is a great book. It reminds you to breathe sometimes. I think I'll read it tonight
Author EricaH329 Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 I found that since the book was written by psychologists, it felt a lot more like I was getting therapy, without paying so much! The beginning of the book touched home so much, that I cried. It tells you exactly what you are going through, and why. It's like one of those moments where you are talking with someone and your mouth drops because everything they are saying is exactly what you are feeling. The poems were hard to read at first, but very enlightening. As the book goes on, and it begins to tell you that you will get over it, and you will survive... it brings hope. This book helped me so much that I can't fathom the idea of not sharing it with other people that need the help that I did.
openbook08 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 yES! i read that too, a great help even now, nearly 9months NC, on the down days i often pick it up and read through!
Recommended Posts