loveslife Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I'll start by saying that I enjoy this forum and many of the other things that technology has allowed. But in so many ways I think all the email, text messages, facebook, twitter, cell phones, etc. etc. keep people from connecting as much as we used to connect. There was a time (not too terribly long ago) when people wrote letters. And those letters reflected what was going on in someone's life and in their head. Mail would take a day or two but we didn't expect anything to be instant. We'd say what we needed to say and get on with our lives. In order to see someone you had to stop what you were doing and call them on a corded telephone. In a way I think having so many people accessible all the time decreases the value of connecting. It simplifies it too much. What do you think?
Vet Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Sounds like you're looking through rose-tinted glasses. Intimacy hasn't gone anywhere just because the medium we express it through has changed. I think we have a romanticized misconception about letters people wrote to each other before, and probably the vast majority were no better than the day's equivalent of "how ru? lol brb". Even if the words we use have changed, intimacy is still expressed, and just because flowing prose isn't used to express it doesn't mean it's any less valid.
Author loveslife Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 I think people took their time more in getting to know people. This isn't just in terms of romance. I still have a bunch of my old letters and they're far from "how r u. brb lol". They're sharing each others lives. I just think with technology and our society in general these days everything has become much more disposable. You don't even have to think of people as people. The closest relationships I have are those where our relationship revolves around talking on the phone and in-person time. There are even friends that I exchange letters with these days. I just don't feel as close to the people I text and email, etc. Of course, I am romanticizing the simpler times a bit but I think there's some truth to all this.
Vet Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I think people took their time more in getting to know people. This isn't just in terms of romance. I still have a bunch of my old letters and they're far from "how r u. brb lol". They're sharing each others lives. I just think with technology and our society in general these days everything has become much more disposable. You don't even have to think of people as people. The closest relationships I have are those where our relationship revolves around talking on the phone and in-person time. There are even friends that I exchange letters with these days. I just don't feel as close to the people I text and email, etc. Of course, I am romanticizing the simpler times a bit but I think there's some truth to all this. Sounds like you're a little technophobic. In a society where everyone is supposedly disposable, doesn't that just mean it actually says something when you save connections with people? Always two ways of looking at it.
Author loveslife Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 Sounds like you're a little technophobic. In a society where everyone is supposedly disposable, doesn't that just mean it actually says something when you save connections with people? Always two ways of looking at it. I'm of two minds when it comes to technology. A part of me is a real technology geek. Another part of me feels the changes are harmful in a way. I do find myself longing for a simpler time. I wonder about the next generation. Everything is done in shorthand. They don't get dirty (as in play outside) as much. They spend so much time indoors at computers or texting, etc. There's much more pressure to keep up. There's a much more pervasive media-driven image to attain. Haha I'm probably just showing my age by reminiscing about the good old days.
Ariadne Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I think all the email, text messages, facebook, twitter, cell phones, etc. etc. keep people from connecting as much as we used to connect. Of course, that's why people are depressed and need all these medications. People are social and they need people, they need contact, they need touch.
Author loveslife Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 Of course, that's why people are depressed and need all these medications. People are social and they need people, they need contact, they need touch. I think all these social networking type things and other technology give people a false sense of intimacy. When, yes, we all really do need contact with others. We need to touch and talk face-to-face and love.
quankanne Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I think if the relationship is a superficial one to begin with (someone you're merely acquainted with and aren't interested in getting to know better), then yeah, these "innovations" prevent further intimacy. however, most of us have developed strong friendships with people, and over time, have been parted from those friends. I've found email and Facebook a fantastic way to touch base with people, though we do keep up the phone calls and visits. In this sense, technological advances enhance these relationships.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I'm of two minds when it comes to technology. A part of me is a real technology geek. Another part of me feels the changes are harmful in a way. I do find myself longing for a simpler time. I wonder about the next generation. Everything is done in shorthand. They don't get dirty (as in play outside) as much. They spend so much time indoors at computers or texting, etc. There's much more pressure to keep up. There's a much more pervasive media-driven image to attain. Haha I'm probably just showing my age by reminiscing about the good old days. Here's the sound of me weighing the old days, where men turned 18 and then got a job in the steel mill for 45 or 50 years before retiring and dying not so long after (perhaps of black lung), against the present, where even the old and infirm can now keep their minds engaged on a daily basis. Today's society doesn't have so many people doing back-breaking work, and if not for a sometimes major lack of exercise, they are conditioned to live many, many more years than were the hard workers of a simpler era. Not only that but the mentally engaged tend to ENJOY those years far moreso than did their convalescent counterparts of 50 years ago. Human society will continue to evolve toward a better time, as it always does. Some of the current termoil in the world could be caused by the path/link between the past and the future, and might be an unusual era. I have the feeling that the evolution of women, from homemaker to eventual full member of the work force in even larger numbers, is somewhat central to the reasons for many of the extreme behaviors on exhibit in the world today. Consider that while some societies have just about fully integrated women into the workforce, there are others which still insist (by religious law, among other reasons) on treating women as 4th class citizens unfit for any equality. The friction between those two extremes is bound to disrupt the world as we know it today.
Isolde Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 The Internet can certainly create a false sense of intimacy where letters and real life conversations can't. By the same token, it can further intimacy that does exist, as quank pointed out. Give and take, I guess? But I do understand what you're saying. When you're writing a letter, the act of censoring what you say (due to limited space and time) ironically increases the value of what is said; whereas when you're typing on an Internet forum or even composing an email or IM, you can go back and amend or add to what you've said, just a moment later. Because letters can't be edited as easily, that's another reason the value of what's writtein in them, is higher, sentence by sentence, than through these modern means of communication. Another aspect of letter writing that's been lost, is it would provide a distraction or a means of expression or even venting (much like LS does) but with the difference that the energy is directed towards one person. Of course, the same can be done with email, but I dunno, it's still different.
littlewhiterose Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I think with the evolution/progression of email, text messages, facebook, twitter, cell phones, all multi-media etc., it's degrading the QUALITY of interactions. So to some degree yes. It may not be the nail in the coffin, but I think it's safe to say it's a contributing factor.
Author loveslife Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 But I do understand what you're saying. When you're writing a letter, the act of censoring what you say (due to limited space and time) ironically increases the value of what is said; whereas when you're typing on an Internet forum or even composing an email or IM, you can go back and amend or add to what you've said, just a moment later. Because letters can't be edited as easily, that's another reason the value of what's writtein in them, is higher, sentence by sentence, than through these modern means of communication. Another aspect of letter writing that's been lost, is it would provide a distraction or a means of expression or even venting (much like LS does) but with the difference that the energy is directed towards one person. Of course, the same can be done with email, but I dunno, it's still different. Yes, that's what I was trying to get at. I've looked through letters I received years ago and even stumbled on some letters my mom got a long time ago and they were SO different from emails. It's perhaps a more visceral experience. You're touching the pen and the paper and connecting with the person you're sending the letter to.
Brady_to_Moss Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Not with the dirty txts i receive all day everyday LOL
Author loveslife Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 I think with the evolution/progression of email, text messages, facebook, twitter, cell phones, all multi-media etc., it's degrading the QUALITY of interactions. So to some degree yes. It may not be the nail in the coffin, but I think it's safe to say it's a contributing factor. It was blaringly evident to me recently when I cleaned out some closets. The quality of my communications these days is really less than it was years ago. And I don't think email alone is to blame. There's just so much in our society nowadays that's keeping us at a distance from one another. Ironic given how we're supposed to be so "connected."
tkgirl Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I'll start by saying that I enjoy this forum and many of the other things that technology has allowed. But in so many ways I think all the email, text messages, facebook, twitter, cell phones, etc. etc. keep people from connecting as much as we used to connect. There was a time (not too terribly long ago) when people wrote letters. And those letters reflected what was going on in someone's life and in their head. Mail would take a day or two but we didn't expect anything to be instant. We'd say what we needed to say and get on with our lives. In order to see someone you had to stop what you were doing and call them on a corded telephone. In a way I think having so many people accessible all the time decreases the value of connecting. It simplifies it too much. What do you think? I was just posting about the same thing on another thread... yes, I think a lot of this is true and it is very sad... and makes me miss the "good ol' days".
Author loveslife Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 I was just posting about the same thing on another thread... yes, I think a lot of this is true and it is very sad... and makes me miss the "good ol' days". It just seemed more genuine then, didn't it.
runner Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 email, sms and facebook are all nice. but i still make the time to send out hand-written notes to special people in my life. i refuse to let these tech innovations get in my way of doing so, occasionally.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I don't know. I'm getting a major kick out of flirting via SMS.
carhill Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 There was a time (not too terribly long ago) when people wrote letters. Hmm... like last week? IMO, technology serves us. We use it in the ways we choose to love/express ourselves/invent/achieve/build/destroy/whatever. It's just a tool. So is paper and pen, which was 'high tech' at one point in our evolution. Personally, I couldn't imagine having relationships with people where I didn't always strive for personal, face-to-face intimacy. Technology just gets me there. I mean, otherwise, why bother?
Author loveslife Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 email, sms and facebook are all nice. but i still make the time to send out hand-written notes to special people in my life. i refuse to let these tech innovations get in my way of doing so, occasionally. Right. But you probably have been around since before the tech innovations, yes? What about the people who never got in the habit of writing letters or notes? More and more I see emails for "thank you"s instead of notes. The other day I got a real printed announcement in the mail and I got so excited. I've always gotten excited about real mail. Even before email.
Author loveslife Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Personally, I couldn't imagine having relationships with people where I didn't always strive for personal, face-to-face intimacy. Technology just gets me there. I mean, otherwise, why bother? But doesn't technology serve to make people more disposable? The minute there's a problem - well, no problem, there's tons more fish in the virtual sea...
carhill Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 If that's one's perspective, of course. That's existed throughout time regardless of technology. Self-involvement is an old disease
Author loveslife Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 I think it's encouraged though, in a way, through using computers. It's a very insulating thing in a way. All the ways it keeps us from being out and about interacting face-to-face.
frustrated&sad Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Loveslife, I agree with you much is lost in the virtual world. That is not to say that there are not benefits and wonders associated with our new techie-driven society. But I do think that much of the thoughtful practice and art of engagement has dissipated. I am not that old (28), but I was raised in a family where we wrote letters on paper to everyone. My parents were very good at tempering all the "new stuff" with traditional forms of communication. And they beat it into our brains that we must engage in first-hand contact to understand body language, speech patterns, etc. I recall thinking they were NUTS when I was younger, but as I transitioned into an adult I felt very lucky. Just the ability to hold someone's gaze when in conversation or write letters has served me well, if only to make me stand out from others. I lament the loss of hand-written letters. I still write them to certain friends, and it is one of my favorite activities. It forces us to slow down, think about what we want to write, and learn patience. And there is nothing like receiving a long, well-written letter in the mail. I once wrote a letter for every day that I lived abroad for 9 months. When I returned home, it so touched certain friends and family that I had taken the time to do this. I'll never forget how happy it made them. And, yes, everyone is more disposable these days. This makes me incredibly sad.
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