AlektraClementine Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 OP - like I said in your other thread, you have a refreshing demeanor around here. I really think you set a good example for keeping your cool on these forums. We could all learn a thing or two from you. Aside from that - I think if you just rely on your wits and strength. You'll get through this alright. If I had to call it, I'd say you've learned a valuable lesson about yourself and my guess is that you will apply what you've learned in your next relationship. Good luck!
dreamergrl Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Correct me if I am wrong but I think she said no intercourse. They've pretty much done everything else. I agree that boundary should always be clear in the beginning. Some women are too worried about losing a guy so they cave in. Personally, if the guy won't wait he is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. But everything else they were doing, had to stop, except for making out and cuddling.
torranceshipman Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I totally respect someone's right to abstain before marriage, but I think there are few men that would go for a R under these conditions - not because they wouldn't respect Conehead's decisions and principles, but because lots of people see sex as a necessary part of a R to get closer to someone and to understand compatibility issues. The idea of NO sex, and the idea that a lifetime commitment has to be made to the person WITHOUT first understanding sexual compatibility...is a HUGE ask, and if a guy asked me to do it - I don't think I would be able to, to be honest. But hey, we're all different...
CaliGuy Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 But everything else they were doing, had to stop, except for making out and cuddling. Don’t disagree. I also know that men can be quite persuasive when it comes to wanting sex. She wanted to keep him around and was probably fearful if she didn't do something she would lose him. In that case I say "See ya dude." If he isn't willing to wait for her then he isn't the right one. Just my $0.02.
dreamergrl Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Don’t disagree. I also know that men can be quite persuasive when it comes to wanting sex. She wanted to keep him around and was probably fearful if she didn't do something she would lose him. In that case I say "See ya dude." If he isn't willing to wait for her then he isn't the right one. Just my $0.02. And if she didn't want these sexual acts happening (not just sex) they shouldn't have been done in the first place.
moman Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 Can you blame the guy? I'm assuming that he knows that you are not a virgin. To hear that you would share your body with some other guys but not him would be too much for 99% of men. I applaud that you are sticking to your beliefs, but it seems to be that (as already stated) your request would be reasonable if you were a virgin or if you said it right from the first date.
MSUE Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 [quote name=I felt like I was fooling myself personally' date=' but sex and sexual acts are very personal choices. If someone chooses other sexual acts without sex but is perfectly happy with it, I think that is a great thing! I think it's all about what a person is happy with,[/quote] sex is sex though...just because theres no actual intercourse doesn't matter at least to me..you are still being intimate and you are still orgasm... your reason was due to culture...how come everything is ok but actual intercourse? I could be wrong but I have never heard such thing
Author conehead Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 sex is sex though...just because theres no actual intercourse doesn't matter at least to me..you are still being intimate and you are still orgasm... your reason was due to culture...how come everything is ok but actual intercourse? I could be wrong but I have never heard such thing Yes I agree with you, that was why I wanted to stop the sexual acts as well, because to me, those sexual acts that lead to orgasm were almost no different than actual intercourse. That what you quoted above was my reply to Elyswth to say that while this is what I personally believe, I respect it when other people decide to have sexual acts or sex. It all comes down to the fact that I think it's a very personal choice.
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