brwneyedgirl Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I'm recently out of 1 1/2 year relationship with a man that is 13yrs younger than I am. I have started dating someone else but wonder about this previous relationship. It was an extremely fun and emotionally and sexually intense relationship but he had issues with being able to hold a job, being motivated, immaturity. I wondered if he was the right one for me. Now I wonder if I right to let him go? Could we ever work things out? Do I think I love him? Or do I love him for the right reasons? He knows that I am seeing someone and he is also dating other people. The other issues have not changed yet, although he is in school. The man I am seeing isn't emotionally ready for a relationship but has many good qualities and feel he is worth checking out. I know that he has some feeling for me. But how long do I wait? My ex is not seeing anyone exclusively and continues to contact me. I told him that I am pursing a relationship with this new man and he is incredibly hurt by this. He says the new guy is using me and can't understand why I won't come back to him. I do not want to play games but it seems that is what's happening. If I were with the new guy and things were hunky dorey. . I probably wouldn't think about my ex. I think that he would be the same if he were with someone new. How do I know if he's the one or if I'm just looking for comfort.
Neutrino Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 It is so painful and confusing to have to doubt yourself, but you listed your reasons for breaking up with this x, and has any of those facts changed ? I think there is no such thing as "the one" if there was only ONE other person on the planet right for each of us - the human race would have long been extinct.... IMO you did the right thing and don't look back - regardless of the previous BF and what it was about him that put you off - if you get back together with him - it will be joy for a while, but the inevitable will happen again, just as it happened before. The new guy could become a relationship or just remain entertainment, in any way it will make the rebound easier. For as long as it feels good - keep it.
Author brwneyedgirl Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 It is so painful and confusing to have to doubt yourself, but you listed your reasons for breaking up with this x, and has any of those facts changed ? I think there is no such thing as "the one" if there was only ONE other person on the planet right for each of us - the human race would have long been extinct.... IMO you did the right thing and don't look back - regardless of the previous BF and what it was about him that put you off - if you get back together with him - it will be joy for a while, but the inevitable will happen again, just as it happened before. The new guy could become a relationship or just remain entertainment, in any way it will make the rebound easier. For as long as it feels good - keep it. Thanks for your reply. There has been something nagging at me not to get involved again with ex bf and I know I can't change him. I have told him all of my reservations and he doesn't even try to say he will change. I need to be fair to all involved and cut the ties. I really do want relationship with new guy. ..just wish situation was different so that it could progress.
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