dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Date a person that who was normally attracted to a completely different type or look. Like, lets say the person you were interested, was interested in back, but they normally go for a person who looks way different then what you do. For example... I have no tattoos and piercings, I don't wear a lot of make up that stands out. I'm not sure I would want to date a guy who was normally attracted to a person that is into dressing like that.
Lizzie60 Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Date a person that who was normally attracted to a completely different type or look. Like, lets say the person you were interested, was interested in back, but they normally go for a person who looks way different then what you do. For example... I have no tattoos and piercings, I don't wear a lot of make up that stands out. I'm not sure I would want to date a guy who was normally attracted to a person that is into dressing like that. And how would you know what type they like before you date them.. and/or talk about style etc.. I'm sure it happens.. but there is usually more than just the 'looks' ... and sometimes style preference can change.
Author dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 And how would you know what type they like before you date them.. and/or talk about style etc.. I'm sure it happens.. but there is usually more than just the 'looks' ... and sometimes style preference can change. Well, I'm just saying. Like if you talked to them and got to know them. And you know they are generally into a different style, way different (I'm talking drastic different). Would you want to date them? Would you feel insecure about them maybe wanting a person more standard to what they like. I know everything is more then looks, and things can change. I'm just asking in general.
Trialbyfire Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 If the two of you have real chemistry, I wouldn't worry about it. Haven't you ever dated someone outside of what you're normally, superficially attracted to? My fiance's ex-wife is a tall blonde. I'm a short brunette. Where we're similar is that we're both careerists.
loveslife Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I had a guy friend who has always been into the Barbie doll types. Long blonde hair, always made up, big boobs, kind of cold and distant. So eventually he decided to try being with someone more down-to-earth and warm, attractive but not high maintenance. Turns out he can't function with someone warm and caring and he's really kind of shallow about the look of the person on his arm. For him, I think it's more having an accessory than a partner. I think people can change their type. I certainly have. So, the answer to your question, for me, is yes. But for some people they definitely prefer a certain type and would probably not feel satisfied with a different type.
Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I don't think I'd want to date someone who had a clear "type" that I just didn't fit. I'd feel like they were trying to force themselves to like/be with me for "resume reasons" (reasons why they SHOULD like me), but in the end it would feel highly unnatural for them. Plus, I know I've tried to date against type. For example, I pretty much only date somewhat tall guys (5'11'' or taller). So, while I would intellectually know that a shorter guy who's awesome in every other way would be good for me, I know there'd always be that nagging feeling in the back of my head, "I wish he was taller," and I'd honestly probably find myself more attracted to and checking out taller guys just because they fit my type. That wouldn't be fair to him... I guess I truly believe most people with a strong type feel the same way, and I wouldn't want to be in the short-guy's shoes.
Author dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 I think hair color and height is a little different then the girl next door to the punk rocker chick though....
loveslife Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I agree with Star Gazer to a large degree but also think that someone's taste can evolve or change. Quite suddenly and dramatically sometimes. DreamgerGrl, can you provide some details to your situation?
Author dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 I agree with Star Gazer to a large degree but also think that someone's taste can evolve or change. Quite suddenly and dramatically sometimes. DreamgerGrl, can you provide some details to your situation? Not sure I would consider it a real situation at this point... So lets say a guy likes the girls who have facial piercings, tattoos, where's the make up thick (does the glitter stuff, ect ect). Then there's me. Obviously we can see how I present myself from my pictures... I don't know if I'd want to date a guy who normally likes this other type, because I'd feel like my physical looks wont keep him attracted. I know looks aren't everything, but we have to be physically attracted to our SO's right?
loveslife Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Not sure I would consider it a real situation at this point... So lets say a guy likes the girls who have facial piercings, tattoos, where's the make up thick (does the glitter stuff, ect ect). Then there's me. Obviously we can see how I present myself from my pictures... I don't know if I'd want to date a guy who normally likes this other type, because I'd feel like my physical looks wont keep him attracted. I know looks aren't everything, but we have to be physically attracted to our SO's right? Okay, so it's in that realm between hypothetical and real. I wouldn't see the harm in going on one date with someone who usually goes for a different type. If they want to date you I'd think it shows attraction.
Trialbyfire Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 dreamer, why not just go on the first date and then, ask him what's the attraction to the other type of woman? If the situation is a case of punk rock/goth chick v. more natural woman, perhaps he's growing up. If it's a core value difference, I would run like the wind.
Author dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 Okay, so it's in that realm between hypothetical and real. I wouldn't see the harm in going on one date with someone who usually goes for a different type. If they want to date you I'd think it shows attraction. But wouldn't you find yourself wondering if their normal type would satisfy them more physically.
You'reasian Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Date a person that who was normally attracted to a completely different type or look. Like, lets say the person you were interested, was interested in back, but they normally go for a person who looks way different then what you do. . Of course. The person appears to be branching out in terms of their own preferences - natural progression over dating experiences.
loveslife Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 But wouldn't you find yourself wondering if their normal type would satisfy them more physically. I've been in that type of situation and did wonder. But in the case of that guy it was a core value thing (like TBF said). I've dated against my own usual type and have been very happy. Really, stop obsessing about this. There's no harm in going on one date. It's really okay.
Trialbyfire Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Take your time evaluating any guy but try not to overthink the issue, previous to the first date. What's his value system? What does he look for in women? What's your value system? What do you look for in men? Do the two complement each other, in that what he values in you, will make you feel appreciated? As an example, if someone values looks overall, can he make you happy? Is it enough that his appreciation of you, is external? Let's pretend it's not just about the external. Let's pretend he needs more but the more is all about "what have YOU done for ME lately"? In other words, he's more concerned about how YOU can entertain him v. that you're a separate individual with wants and needs, that he cares for and honestly cares about your feelings. Anyways, food for thought but not necessarily applicable in this case.
Author dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 I don't have a date or anything guys lol. I was just curious as to what everyone else thought. It could be something that could happen in the future. I'm learning (being in a much larger city and what not) that there's a huge vast of various people. I don't have a specific type myself... although I can't see myself dating a guy with 5 facial piercings and a so many tattoos I can't see his skin color.
Isolde Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Dreamer, I think it's generally pretty obvious when the chemistry is rockin', regardless of type. Me, I tend to like slightly nerdy, slightly vulnerable guys, but I've also liked guys that weren't in that category at all. I'm not into extremes of type for the most part, for example, I don't like heavily alpha types or extremely shy guys, but would date someone with some of those traits. It's all situational.
Author dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 Dreamer, I think it's generally pretty obvious when the chemistry is rockin', regardless of type. Me, I tend to like slightly nerdy, slightly vulnerable guys, but I've also liked guys that weren't in that category at all. I'm not into extremes of type for the most part, for example, I don't like heavily alpha types or extremely shy guys, but would date someone with some of those traits. It's all situational. But would you date someone knowing that you were far from their normal type?
Isolde Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 But would you date someone knowing that you were far from their normal type? Well, if someone traditionally went for rebellious punk chicks, I doubt they would ask me out in the first place. Most people who go for an extreme type like that, for that matter, wouldn't be compatible with me, because I'm a little bit of everything
Trialbyfire Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 dreamer, stop with the ex comparisons. Exes are exes for a reason.
alphamale Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 sure why not? i've had relationships with lots of women who never dated an indian dude. some of them even said they were not attracted to the typical indian guy but when i came along i was totally different than what they thought
Gemini09 Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I don't know. It depends on what type of person or look they have gone for before. I honestly think it can say a lot about someone by whom they choose to date.
cat-power Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I've been thru the accountants, the hardcore rockers, a farmer, the project directors, the brad Pit's, the Artist junks........some 9 yrs older, some 5 years younger. But currently I am very interested- like i've never been before, in a guy that is (to my surprise) 20 yrs older....never gave him that. But the thing is he "gets" me, it's scary at first.......took me a year to be where I am now (wanting him) before that it took me 6 years of self- analysis to be where i am now- due to an sexually abusive childhood. He understands me better than any other guy, which is very confronting ! and i'm scared to death, not only because he reads me like a book, but he might not want me in the way that I want him.
Author dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 Well, if someone traditionally went for rebellious punk chicks, I doubt they would ask me out in the first place. Most people who go for an extreme type like that, for that matter, wouldn't be compatible with me, because I'm a little bit of everything Well I wouldn't think a guy who's into punk type chicks would ask me out either... dreamer, stop with the ex comparisons. Exes are exes for a reason. Ex, or maybe a currant possible interest...
caramel c Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I think this would be a very silly thing to worry about. If he likes me, he likes me. I probably would have no way of knowing anything about his 'type' unless he told me. And if he really told me I didn't fit his 'type' I'd think that was a pretty lame thing to say and it would turn me off that he even felt the need to say it. Lets say I knew from observation he usually doesn't date girls who look like me - I wouldn't spend a single moment worried about that. What's the point?
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