ralph1319 Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 well its been a little more than 4 months apart from my wife.i have tried the n/c thing but i find myself txting her sometimes to ask her something about anything i guess i do it to get a reaction out of her or just her to alk to me.ive been pretty good lately about not txting her anymore but then i started to snoop.i went in our cell bill account to see who is txting her i find out she and some1 were txting each other late at night.it could be something or it could be nothing either way it screwd my mind up.i went to visit my kids and then i confronted her.i didnt come out and say you the hell are you talking to cuz i was snooping.i asked her if she was intrested in someone or does she want to start going out with other people also if she thought about getting a divorce yet. her answer was there is noone im intrested in abd she hasnt thought of divorce.shes just happy being alone.no stress noone to answer too.now since i talked to her about it. it has gotten my hopes up again and i miss her even more.like i started over again back to sqaure1.i need to stop looking at whom shes txting or who shes gonna hang out with even though she really never goes anywhere. but there lies the hard part how the hell do i have the i dont give a fk. attitude when i do give a fk what shes doing at all times.i would have thought it would be better by now 4 months later but who am i kidding it seems to be getting worse..
Devil Inside Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Ralph...seems like a confusing situation. You two have been separated for four months, but are not talking. Are you working on things, or is this just living in other homes so that you can handle the divorce easier. If you are going to get divorced...get it over with, so you can heal. If you are working on things go to MC or something. I would definitely recommend you stop snooping. It is only going to lead to you finding out things you don't want to. Good luck man...I know it must be hard. Hang in there.
MrMayI Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 all i can go on is my own personal experience. cut her off. file d papers. she's cake eating. no offense, i'm speaking from my own experience. **** what she wants. make it about you now.
Gunny376 Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Whenever you attempt to live your life for or through someone else ~ seeking self validation from them ~ or they become your single source of validation in Life, guess who's going to lose? That's right ~ YOU! Most women speak using 'in-direct' language. Most men speak using 'direct language' (I more than most apparently ) She's already telling you that its over in so far as she's concern. If after four months she's perfectly happy and content with the way things are. File already! One of three things will happen. 1. She'll beat your front door down trying to get back with you. 2. She and you will both move on with your lives. 3. You and her will reconcile down the road once she realizes things are so 'greener' on the otherside.
MrMayI Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Whenever you attempt to live your life for or through someone else ~ seeking self validation from them ~ or they become your single source of validation in Life, guess who's going to lose? That's right ~ YOU! Most women speak using 'in-direct' language. Most men speak using 'direct language' (I more than most apparently ) She's already telling you that its over in so far as she's concern. If after four months she's perfectly happy and content with the way things are. File already! One of three things will happen. 1. She'll beat your front door down trying to get back with you. 2. She and you will both move on with your lives. 3. You and her will reconcile down the road once she realizes things are so 'greener' on the otherside. take this advice! i'm 2 months in, and wish i had 7 1/2 weeks ago.
delajoonal Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Gunny... Whenever you attempt to live your life for or through someone else ~ seeking self validation from them ~ or they become your single source of validation in Life, guess who's going to lose? Most women speak using 'in-direct' language. Most men speak using 'direct language' (I more than most apparently ) yes, Gunny is SOOO right on spot with this one...and NO More than just this past few days, have i realized this very issue... i just found out the online EA my H had 6 months ago, that ended...well, guess what, IT nevER ended!:mad: i had gone thru evey manic emotion you can think of...i called my H, i called OW..i was ALL over the place.. finally, the next day, i had to make a decision... this WAS a sign..me finding out the way i did... it was TIME for ME to stop ALL contact, to STOP boo hooing all together..and just get my sh** together! meaning..this is MY LIFE! my H does NOT dictate how i feel or who i am or what i do...this was HUGE for me...anyone here can attest to that.. and the last sentence in bold, from Gunny, is so funny, BUT true..and you know, in the beginning, it was TOO tough love for me...BUT over time, i really started to appreciate what Gunny had to say..and IT WAS ALL RIGHT ON SPOT..you just have to realize IT in your time and work it! i am a woman, my H left me for OW. there i said it...its real, its the truth..its time to move on! and live MY OWN DARN LIFE! my fav Gunny quote, "start living or start dying"...well, F**K my H, i am NOT DYING now over him and his UGLY and yes, people OW is NOT worthy..LOL...i am NOT rolling over dead for either of them! ok, so ralph, this attitude might NOT be for you yet..BUT really try hard...you have to dig deep inside...now i still have moments of a tear or 5..LOL...but we are only human...but really start trying to just get in there and move on!..pretty soon...it will just be happening..your W won't know what hit her and Gunny is right again...she will do one of the latter steps? good luck and keep posting OK...we all need each other and give each other strength...
Author ralph1319 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 thanks once again for the great advice.you guys keep me going and i thank you all. and thnkz for the hug dela. i see you in cali aswell.. woohoo i luv cali.
Recommended Posts