leorise34 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 First of all, hello to everyone. My first post might be a kind of lengthy one, so thanks for reading in advance. My situation is one where I'm worried that I may have overreacted. I'm a twenty two year old college guy who's interested in a young lady who's about the same age as me. I could give a lengthy prologue detailing all the interactions she and I have had before this situation, but I'll save the space. Basically she's a transfer student who just recently moved back home and will be attending the same college as me this fall. We met face to face for the first time three days ago and hit it off well enough that she suggested we get together at the end of this week (Thursday or Friday) depending on which day she had to go up to her old apartment to clear some things out. Well what happened is that she got home late last night from this 4 hour trip to get the last of her things and text messaged me saying that such and such time would be good to go out to see a movie tonight. Well I text messaged her this afternoon making sure such and such time was still good and got no response until six (an hour and a half before we were supposed to meet) when I sent a somewhat cute message saying I was going to pick her up either way. So I called her and asked what was up and she said she was cleaning and moving this stuff from the garage to her house and that she didn't want to say yes to going out and have us not go out because she had so much stuff to move. I--like an overreacting jerk --told her playfully that I was dissapointed in her, and asked her when we would be able to get together. She said we'll work something out and we talked a little bit more, but I was kind of terse and had that tone of disappointment. I basically just ended it saying I'd text her next week. So what should I do now, because I definitely sounded like a jerk and I just assumed she was blowing me off until after I got off the phone and thought about it, realizing her excuse sounded legit. Part of my problem is that I have experience with girl's blowing me off, but she's one who definitely likes me I think and I want to make it right. All I'm going to do for now is back off, because anything I say would make it worse I think. So please help a young guy and tell me what you think. How long should I wait and what kind of damage control can be done!
MissViolet Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 If you want to spend some time with her and hang out, you can always offer a helping hand with the moving and such.
Author leorise34 Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 So do you think I could ask her this right now? I just feel like I did too much damage, but maybe not.
Author leorise34 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 I text messaged her about helping, but no response. I just felt like an a**, because I had this assumption that I was going to get stood up, but the fact that she has a crap load of stuff to unload into her house with school starting on Monday is a legit excuse. I've just been hurt before and I didn't want it to happen with someone who I have good chemistry with. But anyways, what's a good strategy at this point? Just to back off and give her space, or what?
D-Lish Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Yeah, I'd back off and give her some space. I am sure she isn't responding to your text asking to help her because she might be annoyed that you came off as angry before. You might be coming across as a tad bit over-anxious to hang out with her. That won't work in your favour if she is on the fence about things. Give her some space and the next time you do talk to her, don't go straight to asking her to get together.
Author leorise34 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 Thanks for that. I think you're right. There were a couple of other times with her in the past month where I was starting to apply the pressure a tad much, and then I backed off a bit and she came right back to me. It was just a major smack myself in the head moment when I got off the phone and realized that I was being a selfish pri*k and didn't pick up on the fact that everything she was saying indicated she wanted to hang out, just not when she has a ton of moved stuff to unload lol.
Author leorise34 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 Give her some space and the next time you do talk to her, don't go straight to asking her to get together. One other thing I was wondering D-Lish, and I think I know but I want your opinion since you seem pretty smart about this kind of thing , is if I should wait for her to talk to me (like I've done before and she hit me up more ready to hang out than ever) or maybe just ask her how classes are going sometime next week and work up from there. Either way I'm not as needy as I might be coming across lol. This has been my b-day week so I've been doing a lot of stuff and wanted her to be a part of it. It is what it is; I'll stay cool about things either way .
D-Lish Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 if I should wait for her to talk to me (like I've done before and she hit me up more ready to hang out than ever) or maybe just ask her how classes are going sometime next week and work up from there. Either way I'm not as needy as I might be coming across lol. This has been my b-day week so I've been doing a lot of stuff and wanted her to be a part of it. It is what it is; I'll stay cool about things either way . I'd wait for her to respond to your text and when you do respond, just keep it casual, and refrain from asking to get together. See if she asks you out! Happy belated b-day:D
Author leorise34 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Thanks for the belated b-day wish D-Lish . Just an update on the situation with this girl: The incident that sparked this thread was Friday and I went ahead and left her alone Saturday and Sunday. When I got home from more b-day celebrating Sunday night I saw she was on facebook chat and decided to talk to her. I was respectful and funny like I always try to be, and I think our convo went well. I talked to her again on chat today--like only eighteen hours later--which I kind of think was a mistake. I probably should have let her initiate the convo instead of doing it myself both times. In this one she kind of trailed off and I'm just going to back off again and wait for her to initiate me. I made no mention of hanging out. It's still 50/50 whether she is still interested. She still responds to my messages with lols and that sort of thing . Our first day of class was today so we're both focused on that stuff. I think the reason I'm so antsy is because I don't want her to meet some guy in one of her classes. I wanna be her guy at this college! I think the thing is that I need to chill, but I got excited when things started looking good between us. D-Lish, your knowledge and help is appreciated.
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