kogasu Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 My ex and I broke up about a month or so ago. I was terribly heartbroken, but decided not to give in to it. He had told me that he didn't think that we had much in common so I decided to go find out if he was right and maybe I was just holding on to him because of the comfort that I felt. So I went out and did all of the things he likes to do, and found out that I really liked it. So for the past few weeks I've been doing all of these things to get over my insecurites and find out what I like and want in a relationship as well as life in general. I wrote him a letter, not a love letter, but just a letter about what I've been doing and where I think things went wrong, or just where we miscommunicated and I gave this to him a couple days ago on Tuesday after he got off work. When I gave it to him I let him know that I was leaving for 2 weeks. When I gave the letter to him, he ended up talking to me for a while and asking all these questions about where I was going, when I was leaving, and how long I'd be gone for. Then he asked me about what I've been doing and wanting to know who I was doing it with. I pretty much just told him that everything was in the letter and that I needed to go. I went home and as soon as I walked in the door he called me. It seemed to be a panicked call, and he asked if I was really leaving. Then he kept asking why I had to leave and that he wished he had known I was leaving so that he could've talked to me longer. He got really emotional and when I asked him how he felt about the letter, if he still loved me, he said of course otherwise he wouldn't even care if I was leaving. He just acted as if I was moving out of state instead of being gone for a couple weeks. Then when I was in the airport I texted him and said that I hoped he slept okay after last night and that I hoped we could talk when I get back and he texted back saying 'k love you be safe.' And then yesterday my friend's baby was playing with my phone and it accidently called him so I texted him to ignore the call because of that and on his lunch break he started to have small talk with me about how my trip is, how my friends are doing. Just all stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with us. I'm just confused and don't know what this all means, and what I should do if I should do anything. Are these good signs? Is this the road to getting back together? Or does this just mean nothing? I just don't know anymore.
EricaH329 Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 This is tough to read. I went through something similar after my fiance broke up with me. He wrote me an e-mail saying how much he loved and cared about me, and told me to be safe. The next e-mail I got from was him asking how I was doing and what was going on in my life. The e-mail after that, was again, another e-mail expressing his love for me and why it didn't work and how he's sorry. The final e-mail I got from him was, not surprisingly, him asking how I was doing. I responded to the first couple of e-mails, then let the other e-mails go. I didn't respond. I actually posted a thread asking what was going on in his head also. I, too, was very confused. *But* I stuck with the no contact rule, until I found out why he was doing all that. He had told me that he regretted breaking up with me, and that he didn't want to spend another day without me in his life. This might not be your case, maybe he just wants to check up on you because he cares about you and wants to make sure that everything is going alright. But... i'm a firm believer in the no contact rule. If you still have feelings for this man, which it sounds to me like you do, then I would make sure those feelings are gone before initiating or responding to contact with him. It'll just bring up all these questions about his motives, which will drive you crazy.
Recommended Posts