dreamergrl Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 yea, you're probably right. the question then is whether I should even reply to her request for recommendations. or just leave her hanging. She's not gonna be left hanging She lost interest. I'd just let it go.
skjd1220 Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I wouldn't bothering responding either. Part of thinks she doesn't even want a recommendation- she just wanted to respond to be polite but at the same time ignore your question. Sounds like you know- move your interests elsewhere. Good luck.
loveslife Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Really, don't talk yourself into responding to her request for information. It'll just hurt more when she blows you off. You'll be happier if you just let it go.
Author device04 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 Well, I guess here's a positive light. Before I could respond to her text, and about an hour after her first one, she wrote "P.s. Yes I'd like if we can see each other when my schedule slows down ;)". So I gave her my recommendations, and I teased her back about whether her schedule would ever slow down, and she wrote "I'm sure my schedule will permit your presence at some point." I guess that's something, even though there's no indication from her of really wanting to set a date to meet up. Anyway, I agree the ball is definitely in her court now.
Isolde Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 That's encouraging device! Now you have a little time to cool your heels.
WTRanger Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Well, I guess here's a positive light. Before I could respond to her text, and about an hour after her first one, she wrote "P.s. Yes I'd like if we can see each other when my schedule slows down ;)". So I gave her my recommendations, and I teased her back about whether her schedule would ever slow down, and she wrote "I'm sure my schedule will permit your presence at some point." I guess that's something, even though there's no indication from her of really wanting to set a date to meet up. Anyway, I agree the ball is definitely in her court now. That's EXACTLY why I don't like to jump the gun so quickly. This is what happens when you take guides as rules. You get all discombobulated. See, you got yourself all worked up over nothing.
loveslife Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Well, I guess here's a positive light. Before I could respond to her text, and about an hour after her first one, she wrote "P.s. Yes I'd like if we can see each other when my schedule slows down ;)". So I gave her my recommendations, and I teased her back about whether her schedule would ever slow down, and she wrote "I'm sure my schedule will permit your presence at some point." I guess that's something, even though there's no indication from her of really wanting to set a date to meet up. Anyway, I agree the ball is definitely in her court now. I'd have to disagree with those who find this encouraging. "When my schedule slows down..." "at some point" ... huh? Everyone has to eat and she hasn't even wanted to talk to you on th phone. She has time for her siblings. And of course they've been a bigger part of her life than you but c'mon, lets not give device false hope. I have never known ANYONE to put someone off like this if they have interest in a relationship.
Isolde Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I'd have to disagree with those who find this encouraging. "When my schedule slows down..." "at some point" ... huh? Everyone has to eat and she hasn't even wanted to talk to you on th phone. She has time for her siblings. And of course they've been a bigger part of her life than you but c'mon, lets not give device false hope. I have never known ANYONE to put someone off like this if they have interest in a relationship. I read her response as being mildly flirtatious: "permit your presence at some point." Eh, maybe I'm wrong. OP will find out soon enough.
dreamergrl Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Well, I guess here's a positive light. Before I could respond to her text, and about an hour after her first one, she wrote "P.s. Yes I'd like if we can see each other when my schedule slows down ;)". So I gave her my recommendations, and I teased her back about whether her schedule would ever slow down, and she wrote "I'm sure my schedule will permit your presence at some point." I guess that's something, even though there's no indication from her of really wanting to set a date to meet up. Anyway, I agree the ball is definitely in her court now. I agree with loveslife. I don't find this really to be encouraging. She's keeping you on the back burner. If I were you... I'd be out continuing to meet other women.
fabulousgal Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Another perspective... I work in Big 4. So let me just tell you right now that is probably the reason I tend to be single. 1. I work weekends, late nights, conference calls on Sundays when needed 2. I travel all over the world, it is amazing but imagine asking someone in the city where I reside to wait till I get back from my trip 3. Client work comes first. We make a lot of money but we give up a lot personally for that So to me it is completely feasible that she likes you but her job is not like your typical 9-5 or 9-8 even that allows her to have much time for herself, consistent hobbies and relationship interaction.
northstar1 Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Well, I guess here's a positive light. Before I could respond to her text, and about an hour after her first one, she wrote "P.s. Yes I'd like if we can see each other when my schedule slows down ;)". So I gave her my recommendations, and I teased her back about whether her schedule would ever slow down, and she wrote "I'm sure my schedule will permit your presence at some point." I guess that's something, even though there's no indication from her of really wanting to set a date to meet up. Anyway, I agree the ball is definitely in her court now. Don't put all your eggs in one basket with this one. While she may be interested in another date (when her schedule is clear), you are not a priority right now for her (an option it appears). I'd date other women, and leave the ball in her court to arrange a date when your schedule permits. Don't bring up the next date again. If she doesn't, then you'll have your answer.
D-Lish Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Well, I guess here's a positive light. Before I could respond to her text, and about an hour after her first one, she wrote "P.s. Yes I'd like if we can see each other when my schedule slows down ;)". It could also be that she sent you that "reassurance" text to keep you on the hook since you didn't respond to her dinner recommendation text. Some women just like to be lavished with attention, without the intention. So I gave her my recommendations, and I teased her back about whether her schedule would ever slow down, and she wrote "I'm sure my schedule will permit your presence at some point." That sounds pompous. I wouldn't have responded. I guess that's something, even though there's no indication from her of really wanting to set a date to meet up. Anyway, I agree the ball is definitely in her court now. If I am into a guy, I will make time to see him. It doesn't matter how busy I am. I am sure the majority of us would feel the same. The ball might be in her court, but only because she knows how much you want to see her. Stop initiating conversations- reply less often, make it seem like you aren't eager to see her. Let her hit the ball back and then hold on to it for a while. Don't be strung along. If she wants to set up a date- fine.... Let her ask.
Isolde Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 At first I thought this girl was joking with the whole pompous thing... yikes, if she meant it seriously she's probably not worth the OP's time. I remember once dating a guy who took a long time to set up a second date because of being busy. He ended up not being interested. Not saying this is the case and sometimes people really ARE busy, but... I dunno. Agree ball is in her court now at any rate.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Forget this one. She's not interested. She didn't feel it in bed with you. Notice she is not interested in seeing you AFTER you slept together. No coincidence. Move on with dignity and don't contact her again and maybe work on your sexual technique, preferable from a female friend you can open up to.
WTRanger Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Forget this one. She's not interested. She didn't feel it in bed with you. Notice she is not interested in seeing you AFTER you slept together. No coincidence. Move on with dignity and don't contact her again and maybe work on your sexual technique, preferable from a female friend you can open up to. What post have you been reading? There has been zero talk of sex with this person in this entire post.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 The "spent the night on the fourth date" part is where that came from, lol. Or does that not mean sex anymore, lol.
Author device04 Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 Another perspective... I work in Big 4. So let me just tell you right now that is probably the reason I tend to be single. 1. I work weekends, late nights, conference calls on Sundays when needed 2. I travel all over the world, it is amazing but imagine asking someone in the city where I reside to wait till I get back from my trip 3. Client work comes first. We make a lot of money but we give up a lot personally for that So to me it is completely feasible that she likes you but her job is not like your typical 9-5 or 9-8 even that allows her to have much time for herself, consistent hobbies and relationship interaction. Thanks for your thoughts! I think this all just comes down to being somewhere in the middle of her being too busy because she does work a Big 4 job that takes up all her time and her just stringing me along (intentional or not). I agree with those of you that say I should just keep going out and meeting people, and I will continue to do that. The "spent the night on the fourth date" part is where that came from, lol. Or does that not mean sex anymore, lol. Pink Cupcakes, "spent the night" does mean sex, sometimes. Whether that plays into her behavior now, I won't speculate. It is what it is at this point.
Pink Cupcakes Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I think it does because usually, unless the sex is bad for the woman, the woman will totally emotionally bond after sex and the opposite has happened, she is pulling away. Again, you should work on your sexual technique. Did you consider her pleasure and put her pleasure first? That is really important the first time.
dreamergrl Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I think its this simple. If you were a priority, the "I want to see you when my schedule clears up" would not have been the second text with a p.s. I personally think (Although I could be wrong...) that she's dating other guys, and she's not sure who she wants, what will work out, so she's trying to keep you near by. I'm sorry, but setting up a lunch date, or a coffee date would not be too time consuming. I've had my share of crazy schedules in the past, and if I'm interested, I make time. Even if it's just to get together for an hour over a meal or coffee, or take a walk. Maybe rise a little earlier and grab some breakfast.
WTRanger Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 The "spent the night on the fourth date" part is where that came from, lol. Or does that not mean sex anymore, lol. Whoops! I guess I should ask myself what post I was reading! I missed that one on the front page of all pages. Perhaps this girl just need a romp in the sack to clear off some work stress. Yet she doesn't want to seem slutty by doing it on the first date, so she strung you along for a few dates and then jumped your bones. Now that the deed is done, you mean nothing. Not just guys are famous for this.
Lucky_One Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Man, I am glad that I am in a steady relationship! There is a lot of pressure put here on a 150 character text message. This is a tough crowd to please! I thought that she responded to your text in a natural manner, responding abt what her weekend plans were, reassuring that she wasn't on a date, and including you in a sideways manner in her life by asking for recommendations. Sort of like how a telephone conversation might go, if you were on teh phone and had time to talk instead of a limited number of texts. She didn't get a response, so she wrote back with the PS text. OP teased her in return a bit, and she teased back wtih her comment about "his presence". These are TEXT messages. Not staring into your eyes conversations. Easy to misinterpret (obviously, as there are at least 3 interpretations here - pompous, teasing, cold), and quickly and sometimes thoughtlessly typed out. I think she sounds interested, OP; I would keep up the contact as you are getting interested contact in return. Good luck!
Author device04 Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Well, turns out that in the end, it was just a big mix of everything that people have stated here. Again, thanks to everyone for their thoughts. So, after those text messages, she ended up texting me a "good luck" for my first day at work. I didn't have time to respond until later in the day and then as I was leaving work she sends me a text saying she was free Tuesday night and wanted to hang out. Before I could even finish reading that, I get another message saying "or 2nite". Well, we did end up seeing each other Tuesday and Wednesday, and have been seeing each other pretty regularly the last 2 weeks. It turns out she was a bit unsure about what she wanted, saying I was a "nice guy" and she had never been with one before. She also said it felt "heavier" to her than just a random fling and that caused her to pull away. That week she didn't really respond or talk to me was also a week when she was working 12 hour days and just really wasn't up for anything social. And, to those who told me to contact her one last time: turns out your were right. Although she says she was still interested, she also thought I wouldn't be anymore so admitted that had I not contacted her again, she probably would have just let it go. I guess her "fear" of what was happening would have led her to just give it up. Who knows. So, at this point, we're sort of seeing each other as our schedules allow and at least for me, I'm just seeing where this is going. I'm still unsure how I feel about dating a workaholic (out of necessity) and all that. But, for the time being, things are better, and yes, the bedroom stuff is just fine, thank you. Good luck to all of you with your relationships and thanks again!
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