Great Guy but what can I do to change his "set in his old ways" ?

[Madeleinechan]

I am 36 and am dating a 43 years old man, we are together now for 3 months , we were kinda in the same group of friends, so we knew eachother before and it pretty much started with sharing the bad experience we had with the then cheating partners we had. After it was all over wit our exes we hooked up and knew we both are looking for the same things in life. We live together now and he is a really great guy, loyal, help with cooking and always pick me up or drive me if necessary.

However the longer I am with him, and now we are living together, the more I realize that he has been living alone for a long time and kinda set in his ways.

Here are a few things:

 

- the Sex, we only have once a week sex..and not really that great or long either, I tried to sit him down and talk about it, he feels intimidated by me and am afraid that he can't handle me, now we talked ...it's all good but the situation didn't changed much and I don't want to push him, I can only explain what I like and try to make him feel comfortable that there are other ways to sexual pleasure..still situation has not changed.

- Communication : He says that he needs time every day to shut off his brain, by playing online games and ride his motorbike , he finds it takes a lot of energy to have conversations with me, even if he tries to converse with me ..I don't feel like he really likes it and that makes me want to hold back on having conversations with him.

- Sometimes a bit inconsiderate: Sometimes when we are having dinner, he will walk off in the middle of it and do something on the computer, leaving me sitting at the dining table by myself.

 

I do sat him down quite a few times to talk, but it progress very slowly and some things not at all. He says I should give him time and help him with his "ways" but I don't really feel like re-educate or push a person,

to :make love to me, to communicate with me, to see and love spending time with me???

I find these are all the important things for me in a relationship/marriage, am I asking for too much?

He is really a great guy and I love him very much, but what can I do to change his "set in his old ways" ?

 

Does anyone has the same experience?

[Thaddeus]

You do realize, don't you, that you can't fundamentally change anybody else, right?

[Madeleinechan]

I do understand, I have been staying away and give him all the room, space, time he wants, but if a person wants a relationship and talks about "forever" , wouldn't you want to have a communication, love and making love to? Is it not that you are together because you don't want to be alone anymore and want to share your life with someone. He said that I should help him, not to be like that anymore, but how can I help him. I told him as well "things can't be forced" if he is happy with the lifestyle he has, me being there or not doesn't actually make a difference. I don't know how to help him.

[manaja]

He needs to be willing himself to change, otherwise he wont, " you can take a horse to water , but you cant make it drink ".