Mountainlove Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Hello Everyone, I was thinking that it might be helpful for everyone if we all share tips on how to survive our long distance relationships. I think everyone is looking for ideas or tips what to do in certain situations and some of you do it since such a long time that we might all could learn from each other. So if you managed to get over communication problems, or jealousy, or insecurity, or the hard first month or anything else and have some tips please share them. When I read through all these topics there is so much knowledge that it might be useful to collect it all in one tread.....
digitalwizard Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 It's been over 9 years since my LDR with my now-wife, so things may have changed a bit since then. The absolute best advice that I can offer is to be completely honest with the other party. If you have poor communication skills, you may want to move on to a non-LDR relationship. In order to sufficiently maintain a good connection and keep the romance alive when hundreds of miles away from each other, you need to be able to speak well and communicate your feelings through words b/c actions don't exist. My LDR started off with chatting online for about 4 months and then we progressed to the phone. This was before either of us had a cell phone and the bill was astronomical each month. Talking on the phone daily is imperative. However, there are alternatives to talking. You can play online games together, get a web cam, or do some online chatting even. Try to break it up. Be spontaneous; do not get into a routine or schedule if at all avoidable. Send little short email messages about how much you love the other person. If you know the address of the other party, send them flowers or something along those lines. Okay, I'm tapped out for now as far as advice goes. Good luck all you in an LDR.
Tayla Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Ironic that it is the actions: sending flowers, playing online games, leaving a message on your cell...They are gestures. Actions of Hey Hon! You are on my mind! It really is those LITTLE Things, the every day taken-for-granted-things- that mean so very much to keeping the flame going. Share the days events, it doesnt always have to be about the relationship or missings. It can be about a goal- You won a marathon, or you attempted one ! The heart is always near even when the body is afar. One of the coolest deeds I did in a LDR was I called his best friend that is a DJ in the town he was working in.....Had him air a message and play a song that we both loved to jam too! He was awestruck that in the middle of his day, his friend rung him up and told him to turn the radio up! He did and it just really made his day! So find a personalized way to keep it afloat
jumi Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 what helps me is just looking beyond the rough times into the future where he will be in my arms again. it motivates me to be strong. thinking of our future together and what we'll have when he returns keeps my head above water, and helps me worry less about the trivial things during the distance.
Ingenue Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I think the tips sound great. My current 8 month relationship will be moving to LD in about 1.5 weeks. Both of us are taking a "let's see what happens" approach without any expectations. Neither of us is possessive or jealous and understand the realities of what we're entering. Having said that, I'd love to hear any other tips veteran LD posters can give. My boyfriend isn't too keen on technology (as in messengers, cams, online games), does use email but simply prefers face-to-face interactions to establish the dynamic and rapport. Other than telephone and the occasional visit, what else might you suggest? Thanks
jumi Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I think the tips sound great. My current 8 month relationship will be moving to LD in about 1.5 weeks. Both of us are taking a "let's see what happens" approach without any expectations. Neither of us is possessive or jealous and understand the realities of what we're entering. Having said that, I'd love to hear any other tips veteran LD posters can give. My boyfriend isn't too keen on technology (as in messengers, cams, online games), does use email but simply prefers face-to-face interactions to establish the dynamic and rapport. Other than telephone and the occasional visit, what else might you suggest? Thanks is he just not technologically savvy? or just prefers face-to-face interaction like you said? because in that case i think a web cam would be great for you two but he doesnt like that? but anyway, emails are great to communicate, since you can take however much time you want to read and reply. that with the telephone is good alone, since telephone simulates face-to-face contact more closely than internet does
Ingenue Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 is he just not technologically savvy? or just prefers face-to-face interaction like you said? because in that case i think a web cam would be great for you two but he doesnt like that? but anyway, emails are great to communicate, since you can take however much time you want to read and reply. that with the telephone is good alone, since telephone simulates face-to-face contact more closely than internet does In addition to being not tech savvy, he really prefers face-to-face because he feels a stronger connection than through the electronic realm. To him, the electronic world is a bit artificial. He doesn't like webcam, messenger, skype or anything like that. We email quite a bit already and talk on the telephone. I suspect we'll just continue doing that and see each other when we can.
hoping2heal Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 In addition to being not tech savvy, he really prefers face-to-face because he feels a stronger connection than through the electronic realm. To him, the electronic world is a bit artificial. He doesn't like webcam, messenger, skype or anything like that. We email quite a bit already and talk on the telephone. I suspect we'll just continue doing that and see each other when we can. Well, I don't know if it will be helpful or not. But I have learned to be creative, we can't see eachother or just "hang out" with eachother right now. One thing we do, is I have a wireless mic and he has voice chat also. We will somedays spend several hours, but we don't just talk. In fact usually he is working on his thing, and I am doing my thing but what's comforting is we know the other person is THERE. People think it's weird like "well I don't hear you two talking so what is the point" but he is just doing his work, and I am doing mine and we spend time and bond this way. You have to learn to compromise and embrace with your own ideals about technology and this method of communication. If the relationship means enough to you, I do believe a person will give in and do just that.
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