tuscansun Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 So I've officially been single for almost two years now, with good reason, I got burned and I didn't want to get serious with anyone for the wrong reasons. I did some casual stuff but obviously nothing came of it.... Anyway, so I'm wanting to get back in the game...I'm only 24 so I'm guessing it shouldn't be too hard but for some reason I feel like men don't look, or even if I look hot men won't ask me out...I've just never really dated, was in something serious for a long time, and since that ended I was in survival mode so now I'm looking for ways to, I don't know, make myself more available? I need some inspiration to start waxing and pedicuring and painting and shopping and all that again. So LS, how do we feel about beauty tips, what men dig, and what will get men's attention. Good ol fashion, "Get him to ask you out" post lol
Vet Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 So I've officially been single for almost two years now, with good reason, I got burned and I didn't want to get serious with anyone for the wrong reasons. I did some casual stuff but obviously nothing came of it.... Anyway, so I'm wanting to get back in the game...I'm only 24 so I'm guessing it shouldn't be too hard but for some reason I feel like men don't look, or even if I look hot men won't ask me out...I've just never really dated, was in something serious for a long time, and since that ended I was in survival mode so now I'm looking for ways to, I don't know, make myself more available? I need some inspiration to start waxing and pedicuring and painting and shopping and all that again. So LS, how do we feel about beauty tips, what men dig, and what will get men's attention. Good ol fashion, "Get him to ask you out" post lol Waxing, pedicuring, make-up, new clothes, all of these things are a waste of money for your objective. If you genuinely like doing these things, then go for it, but you don't need to do them to attract people. Be unrelenting and unforgiving in being yourself, and you will attract men. Confidence is the most attractive attribute you've got. Instead of being on the defensive and waiting for men to ask you out, why not give ask out guys you're attracted to? That's by far the easiest way.
Thaddeus Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Vet is right. But there's more to it than just that. I've got a very hot friend who's been burned very, very badly in the past, and because of that she gives off this whole "f*ck off" vibe to pretty much every man she meets. If you smile at her, she'll glare back. If you tell her she looks nice, she assumes that you're thinking of bedding her. If you try to strike up a conversation with her in, say, the grocery or bookstore, she'll give you a withering look and maybe even an insulting comment. I'm not suggesting that the OP has gone to such extremes, but inner bitterness and the whole "ice queen" thing does tend to show through. Want to know the easiest, most effective and least expensive way to meet men? Smile. A true, heartfelt smile. It can open all sorts of doors.
001bh Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I've always found that girls who just be themselves without a pound of makeup on their face way more attractive then the one's who feel that they need to beautify themselves. Seriously. Do you have any plain pics of yourself. I'm sure you look fine
001bh Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Totally agree. Just smile, enjoy yourself. I find it's easier to approach women who don't give off bad vibes.
Vet Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Vet is right. But there's more to it than just that. I've got a very hot friend who's been burned very, very badly in the past, and because of that she gives off this whole "f*ck off" vibe to pretty much every man she meets. If you smile at her, she'll glare back. If you tell her she looks nice, she assumes that you're thinking of bedding her. If you try to strike up a conversation with her in, say, the grocery or bookstore, she'll give you a withering look and maybe even an insulting comment. I'm not suggesting that the OP has gone to such extremes, but inner bitterness and the whole "ice queen" thing does tend to show through. Want to know the easiest, most effective and least expensive way to meet men? Smile. A true, heartfelt smile. It can open all sorts of doors. Definitely, such a good point. You have to give off the impression that you're actually open to being approached.
MadDriver Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Vet is WRONG! Waxing, pedicuring, make-up, new clothes, all of these things are what females use to send signals to males that they are in the market. Somebody give these young men and women a copy of "Spent: Sex, Evolution, and Consumer Behavior". Look, women compete with each other. If your competition is waxing, pedicuring, putting make-up, and buying new clothes, then the OP is advised to also do these thing if she wants the top guys.
carhill Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 OP, you're in SoCal. Join a car club. Everyone drives. Once I gather my psyche, I'm going to dust off one of the Mustangs and get out there. Road tours; lunches; dinners. The key is putting yourself out there with people of a like mind. Maybe you're not into cars. No worries. Pursue something for you in a positive way and you will be noticed. Personally, most of my female friends wear little to no makeup and dress conservatively. It's always fun when an 'occasion' comes up and they put on the dog. I invariably go 'whoa'! That difference is nice. One guy's opinion.
MadDriver Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Look, women compete with each other. If your competition is waxing, pedicuring, putting make-up, and buying new clothes, then the OP is advised to also do these thing if she wants the top guys. On the other hand, if the OP wants a guy like Vet, then she can dispense with all that effort of course... He'll take whatever comes-a-knocking... Beggars can't be choosers!
caramel c Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 So I've officially been single for almost two years now, with good reason, I got burned and I didn't want to get serious with anyone for the wrong reasons. I did some casual stuff but obviously nothing came of it.... Anyway, so I'm wanting to get back in the game...I'm only 24 so I'm guessing it shouldn't be too hard but for some reason I feel like men don't look, or even if I look hot men won't ask me out...I've just never really dated, was in something serious for a long time, and since that ended I was in survival mode so now I'm looking for ways to, I don't know, make myself more available? I need some inspiration to start waxing and pedicuring and painting and shopping and all that again. So LS, how do we feel about beauty tips, what men dig, and what will get men's attention. Good ol fashion, "Get him to ask you out" post lol I think you are on the right track already, just thinking about this I suggest you do anything that makes you feel good about yourself. The ideas you have are great! Personally, I love to get manicures and pedicures. Not only is it a wonderful experience, it looks great. You can do your own maintenance in between visits, if you can/need to, to save money and time. Furthermore, there's nothing wrong with shopping for a little pick me up! Don't look for clothes to attract men, just get in touch with your own personal style and pick a couple of new pieces that make you feel attractive. When you look in the mirror and smile back at you, hot stuff, thats when you know its a go. What it all comes down to, is that if you feel great about your appearance then you are attractive to others as well. None of this is NECESSARY, but it definitely doesn't hurt. Also, when men find you attractive, very often they will compliment you on something specific about your appearance during a first conversation - so lets give em something to talk about! Good luck
Author tuscansun Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 If I came off as im implying that looking hot will get me a date, that wasn't my intention...I can most relate to the "f*** off" vibe. I think I'm just a little bashful about getting serious. Smiling and being friendly and loving myself isn't a problem. It's more just getting the outside to match the inside and on top of that, making myself more open and available to men, emotionally as well as physically. I'm fully aware that outside is trivial compared to inside. I'm writing this post assuming its a GIVEN that my inside has been very much worked on (HELLO two years....), I'm ready to start dabbling with the outside stuff, I don't want to come off like I'm not aware that we share the planet with males....
Author tuscansun Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 BTW Caramel I love your post thank you!
caramel c Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 BTW Caramel I love your post thank you! You are very welcome! Another thing that makes me feel hot: high heels, if you dare...lol all day every day and I love it.
Vet Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Vet is WRONG! Waxing, pedicuring, make-up, new clothes, all of these things are what females use to send signals to males that they are in the market. Somebody give these young men and women a copy of "Spent: Sex, Evolution, and Consumer Behavior". Look, women compete with each other. If your competition is waxing, pedicuring, putting make-up, and buying new clothes, then the OP is advised to also do these thing if she wants the top guys. I really can't tell if you're serious about this post. From reading the reviews of this book, it sounds like you either didn't read it or you didn't understand the point of it. I'd strongly disagree that men that buy into this are the "top guys".
Hkizzle Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Vet is WRONG! Waxing, pedicuring, make-up, new clothes, all of these things are what females use to send signals to males that they are in the market. Somebody give these young men and women a copy of "Spent: Sex, Evolution, and Consumer Behavior". Look, women compete with each other. If your competition is waxing, pedicuring, putting make-up, and buying new clothes, then the OP is advised to also do these thing if she wants the top guys. Both camps are right. There's nothing wrong looking good, after all men are visual. To KEEP a decent guy though you better be confident. Saying looks don't matter is naive. After all even the OP said she's looking for HOT guys. Vet's usually wrong though.
BobSacamento Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Vet is WRONG! Waxing, pedicuring, make-up, new clothes, all of these things are what females use to send signals to males that they are in the market. Somebody give these young men and women a copy of "Spent: Sex, Evolution, and Consumer Behavior". Look, women compete with each other. If your competition is waxing, pedicuring, putting make-up, and buying new clothes, then the OP is advised to also do these thing if she wants the top guys. I completely agree. I remember at work once this girl came to me and commented on another woman at work. The other woman had recently started to dress really nice and began doing her hair differently rather than in a pony tail 24/7. The girl said to me "She must have just got a new BF." I said to her, "Doubtful, I would take a guess at perhaps a BF recently dumping her and she wants to look good for potential applicants." Needless to say the girl was convinced of my scenario rather than hers and said "HA! when I started to date my BF I began to let myself go!" When a woman looks extremely good in public there's a reason for it. Attraction. More often than not if a girl is dressed really nice she's probably single. When your in a relationship it's unnecessary. However, if you want to keep the BF don't slide too far.
loveslife Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I don't wear makeup, I do dress conservatively, don't wear heels, etc. etc. and I have had some very hot guys attracted to me. OP, You know your best look. You know what look makes you feel good. I'm sure you're attractive and once you open your eyes and take your head out of the sand guys will come a-running. Finding one you can be yourself with and who can be himself with you and who the timing is right with and on and on....all that, that's where the stumbling blocks pop up, in my opinion. In my experience, I meet the guys I end up in LTRs with when I am not trying at all. When my hairs a mess or I haven't slept in days or I'm PMS or in a bad mood. Seriously, I think it's those times when your defenses are down the most.
loveslife Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 More often than not if a girl is dressed really nice she's probably single. When your in a relationship it's unnecessary. However, if you want to keep the BF don't slide too far. NOOO!!! OMG, I wouldn't even know where to begin.... <shaking my head in dismay>
Author tuscansun Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 How likely is it that a guy will approach a woman he's interested in....u know with women's lib and all that jazz lol
Thaddeus Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 How likely is it that a guy will approach a woman he's interested in....u know with women's lib and all that jazz lolThere's no one-size-fits-all answer. Some guys will, other guys won't. Nothing to do with "women's lib" or any such thing. It's just that some guys have no problem approaching women. Other guys are painfully shy. You obviously can't control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do. So if you see a fellow that you find interesting, smile and say hello.
Author tuscansun Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 yeah I hear you, but for some reason I feel there's a stigma with women seeming too interested...not that we should all just play games for the rest of our lives but at this particular moment I could not imagine approaching a guy. A smile I could do...
Thaddeus Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 yeah I hear you, but for some reason I feel there's a stigma with women seeming too interested.Well, you can live your life conforming to some ill-defined social norm or stigma, or you could live your life on your own terms. Choice is yours.A smile I could do...Excellent. Then do it!
Recommended Posts