Hkizzle Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Before we get into the discussion, read this article. It's long but interesting. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31452178/ns/today_relationships// What I find interesting is reference to two main groups. The Explorers and builders, and it could well be that many of our situations are not just through experience but hormonally driven. That's why players keep looking around, and the girls that fall for the players are the same. These people just aren't attracted to the steady builder types, so have relatively unsteady relationships with their own types.
Thornton Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I clicked the link and got an article about divorce. Is the link correct?
Author Hkizzle Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 Yeah it is. It's got interesting views.
Isolde Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I tend to be leery of anything that attempts to create a binary to describe humanity.
carhill Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 The relevant part, way at the end... -The Explorer — the libidinous, creative adventurer who acts “on the spur of the moment.” Operative neurochemical: dopamine. -The Builder — the much calmer person who has “traditional values.” The Builder also “would rather have loyal friends than interesting friends,” enjoys routines, and places a high priority on taking care of his or her possessions. Operative neurotransmitter: serotonin. -The Director — the “analytical and logical” thinker who enjoys a good argument. The Director wants to discover all the features of his or her new camera or computer. Operative hormone: testosterone. -The Negotiator — the touchy-feely communicator who imagines “both wonderful and horrible things happening” to him- or herself. Operative hormone: estrogen, then oxytocin. OK, so I'm all of those things, as I imagine most human beings are, situationally. If there's a good reason I've been single most of my life, there it is. Insanity is generally unattractive OP, women are attracted to what they're attracted to. So am I. The key is learning to understand whether that attraction is healthy or not, and, if not, how to change oneself to a healthier plane of existence and attraction.
Author Hkizzle Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 The relevant part, way at the end... OK, so I'm all of those things, as I imagine most human beings are, situationally. If there's a good reason I've been single most of my life, there it is. Insanity is generally unattractive OP, women are attracted to what they're attracted to. So am I. The key is learning to understand whether that attraction is healthy or not, and, if not, how to change oneself to a healthier plane of existence and attraction. I agree, people still have free will. It's just that you need to be smart and have good self control to beat biology, and judging from all the problems in relationships that we do have, reality is different from theory/ideals. In reality a large % of humans can't beat their biology.
Author Hkizzle Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 I tend to be leery of anything that attempts to create a binary to describe humanity. No of course not, behavior is more like a spectrum. However it's hard to describe all aspects of behavior so it's more convenient to generalize into broader categories, and make cut off points at certain areas.
Chicago_Guy Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 The women mentioned in that article sound like they are extremely self-centered. I feel sorry for their husbands. I suppose I am a builder and I am probably most attracted to women who are builders.
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Carhill, I think the more relevant quote isn't at the end, but the very beginning; Sadly, and to my horror, I am divorcing. It's like anything else in the world - depending on your slant, you can always find facts, both statistical and empirical, to back your hypothesis. Article writers ask the same question that consultants do. "What do you want me to prove?" The author stated her position and reasoning right upfront, so it was to no surprise that she found facts to back her position. I'm sure if it was written by someone who enjoyed a long and successful (and ongoing) marriage, there would be an equal number of facts supporting marriage. That article is merely a more professional version of many of the threads we see here every day - people frustrated with a particular aspect of their life. In this case, it's marriage, and the recent termination thereof. I tend to be leery of anything that attempts to create a binary to describe humanity. Isn't that the old computer geek joke? "There are 10 types of people in the world; those who can read binary and those who can't."
Vet Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 There's two types of people in this world: the people that think there are two types of people in this world, and those that know better.
carhill Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Carhill, I think the more relevant quote isn't at the end, but the very beginning LOL, I included the verbiage so the reader wouldn't have to grit their teeth through the whole article It was more a functional 'relevance' to the OP. If I'm going through a divorce and grit my teeth at the negativity, perhaps that says something about my perspective.
Author Hkizzle Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 There's two types of people in this world: the people that think there are two types of people in this world, and those that know better. Haha, my stalker is in action again.
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