katty774 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Some may think that going no contact will get your ex back, well here's my opinion for what it is worth... It won't. When someone breaks up with you they're done. You can hope, wish, pray, beg, etc. but basically they are done. They have moved on, now it is your turn to do the same. That is what NO CONTACT is for... to help you move on. If you keep talking, texting, etc. to your ex you will keep wishing and praying for another chance. YOu may not tell your ex these things but you are doing so if only in your mind. I have survived a lot of heartaches and I will survive this one too. You would think as much as I've been burned I would just give up but I don't. I fall again and again but always come out of each a little wiser. Not trying to discourage anyone and honestly I might be posting this to convince myself but the way I am feeling right now and from past experiences NO CONTACT works to help you release that person, to be able to move on to something, someone more worthy. NO Contact helps you move on. Of course we all move on at our own pace. I remind myself each day that I have survived other heartaches and I will survive this one. I will just take one day at a time. Thanks for letting me post what was on my mind.
hopesndreams Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 It all depends on the circumstances of the breakup. In certain instances, it will drive the dumper insane. The dumper can hound you, constantly, until you respond. Which I have done, too many times to count. I am the dumpee. NC is wonderful, if the dumper respects you, if they don't, they are relentless.
Author katty774 Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 I just needed to remind myself that night of why I'm better off with no contact. Thank you bluewolf17
EmperorR Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 NC is all about maintaining your dignity as well as healing yourself. What you don't know, hear, see can't hurt you. This is why I go NC, I have no idea what is going on in her life, no idea what shes doing, no idea if shes with another guy already. As well the other side of NC, if you don;t do anything such as begging pleading etc. you cant mess up anything by doing nothing. But NC keeps your dignity, when my ex fiance dumped me I begged and pleaded for 2 weeks went NC on hoping she will miss me etc. its been nearly a year havent heard squat from her, but I'm recovered now, no idea what she is doign with her life and I dont care. With my last ex same day I was dumped same day I went NC, changed my number email address, blocked on facebook, and I recovered so fast and kept my dignity. NC is for you!!!
Peanut9330 Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I agree that the only reason people should go NC is to heal and move on not try to get their ex back. I did NC to get over my ex and heal and it helped me so much but my situation is a little different, after almost 3 weeks of NC ex is begging and doing anything and everything to win me back, and he's refusing to accept my decision. If your interested in what is currently happening to me here is my post. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t198547/
CaliGuy Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Welcome, Kathy. Us "old timers" here on LS have been saying the same thing for years. Too many people think going NC is going to bring an ex back. Well, I'll say what I have always said to that. An ex who really wants to be with you would not have left. And if they do want you, neither hell nor high water will stop them from finding you. You don't have to do anything but live AND ENJOY your life. Just coz someone leaves you doesn't mean you aren't worthy of being loved. It just wasn't a good fit for the both of you. The sooner you let that ex go who doesn't want you, the sooner the door is open for someone who IS right for you to find you. Cheers
bluewolf17 Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Welcome, Kathy. Us "old timers" here on LS have been saying the same thing for years. Too many people think going NC is going to bring an ex back. Well, I'll say what I have always said to that. An ex who really wants to be with you would not have left. And if they do want you, neither hell nor high water will stop them from finding you. You don't have to do anything but live AND ENJOY your life. Just coz someone leaves you doesn't mean you aren't worthy of being loved. It just wasn't a good fit for the both of you. The sooner you let that ex go who doesn't want you, the sooner the door is open for someone who IS right for you to find you. Cheers I :love: Cali Guy. He is dead on. When I first started posting here, he was one of the first commenters to put me in my place, always reminding me to let go of the hope. He couldn't be more right. Live YOUR life.
Beeotch Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 You are right.... If they come back it is not because of no-contact... No Contact also helps you to not wait aimlessly. "A watched pot never boils" my mom always says and it is true. NC is walking away from the pot and allowing it to do its thing. If they don't come back...true NC and actively living your life makes it so that you no longer care and if they do come back...by then your mind is clear and it didn't seem like you were waiting endlessly. It takes us all a while to get it....I think we all do it for the wrong reasons at first until we realize that it makes no sense.
delajoonal Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 my H left me for his online EA, 6 months later he texts me nearly EVERYDAY and calls, emails, IM's, you name it... if i don't contact him in return within a few days...he becomes what seems almost panic stricken... this is so weird..because his texts are generally pretty cruddy... he has turned into a monster, so i have NOTHING to say to him anymore...i m done... anyone else dealing with this issue? your spouse/bf or gf left YOU..but yet THEY call aLL the time??? i checked our cell phone logs...H and OW call each other..now get this.. up to 21 times a day..OMG!...and in between there..he won't let go of me...( we are actually still legally married too) anyway, OW is married with 2 kids, my H works like 18 hour days... how do you talk to someone 21 times a day..LOL..and then find time to call you W too..LOL... ack! ..i need a new UNLISTED cell...
delajoonal Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 p.s. good thread...looking forward to reading what others have to say:)
pureinheart Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 I really needed these facts re-confirmed ....thank you all very much. It's interesting some wisdom spoken at the right time can actually change a persons life forever....
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