Sam Spade Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 It's mostly an asset, I agree, but there are things about it that aren't. For example, I feel the ideas in my head about relationships simply aren't backed up by empirical experience. Also, I feel like I'm "behind" and have matured in every way, excepting this one aspect. My gf is 30, and she has only had 1 short relatioinship before me, for 7-8 months, and a hookup, and her highschool boyfriend, and that is it. I agree with Bob Sacamento (), that this is not really a liability, but an asset, plus it makes sense in her particular background/life circumstances. More importantly, she seems to demonstrate emotional intelligence and much better uncerstanding of how relationships work than my ex, who's had a whole bunch of relationships. So, I don't think yo have anything to worry about (except for being too introspective for your own good ) at least until mid-late twenties.
redhighheels Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 You must be ugly. Or fat. Or both. Young women your age (18-25) are at the peak of their beauty and get asked out by boys, young men, old men, perverts, sex offenders, virgins, every jack and his uncle... Or maybe just give off a really good 'fu*k off' vibe. I've mastered that one to perfection in my young antisocial years, and men rarely approach me.
Sam Spade Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 You must be ugly. Or fat. Or both. Young women your age (18-25) are at the peak of their beauty and get asked out by boys, young men, old men, perverts, sex offenders, virgins, every jack and his uncle... I'll smack yo' azz beyoaach ! Isolde is hott, and it is not (at least not entirely ) her fault for being stuck in a small college town in flyover country (from what I gather). Rednecks and "worldly" suburbanites ain't the greatest dating material for her .
Author Isolde Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 I'll smack yo' azz beyoaach ! Isolde is hott, and it is not (at least not entirely ) her fault for being stuck in a small college town in flyover country (from what I gather). Rednecks and "worldly" suburbanites ain't the greatest dating material for her . I don't live in a small town, but thanks for jumping to my defense
Sam Spade Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Or maybe just give off a really good 'fu*k off' vibe. I've mastered that one to perfection in my young antisocial years, and men rarely approach me. Meh, maybe, but being approachable is overrated anyway . I give off the same vibe, but every once in a while along comes a girl that appreciates it . (My gf has specifically told me that my stern look gives her the hotts ). Conversely, I can totally appreciate an angry young girl, Dostoyevsky style .
MadDriver Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Isolde is hott, and it is not (at least not entirely ) The only thing I know about Isolde is that: 1) The avatar is not her. 2) She's 23. 3) She has never been in a R. 4) She is never asked out by any guys. Given the above 4 facts, even Mr. Spock cannot argue with my logic. It seems to me that you, Sam Spade, has access to more pieces of information. A picture perhaps? Please enlighten us.
ProudMumOf2 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 The trials and tribulations of a young woman. I wouldn't worry about having enough experience, I married the man who I had my first (and hopefully last) relationship with and we're still going strong over a decade later. You don't need to have been in a few tumultuous relationships to know what you want from someone.
Sam Spade Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 The only thing I know about Isolde is that: 1) The avatar is not her. 2) She's 23. 3) She has never been in a R. 4) She is never asked out by any guys. Given the above 4 facts, even Mr. Spock cannot argue with my logic. It seems to me that you, Sam Spade, has access to more pieces of information. A picture perhaps? Please enlighten us. Yeah, there was a picture thread a while back. Trust me, it is NOT the looks. It may be the attitude/the vibe - I can understand how it's not for everybody - esp. in that age group; but then again, I'm sure I'm not the only guy that appreciates grumpy and stubborn but (dainty underneath .) More to the point, I think it is hardly even possible to consider relationships under 25 "real" relationships, so the lack of one until that point is really not a major handicap.
Gemini09 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I think if a woman hasn't been in any relationship by at least middle 20's that is really questionable.
Author Isolde Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 Yeah, there was a picture thread a while back. Trust me, it is NOT the looks. It may be the attitude/the vibe - I can understand how it's not for everybody - esp. in that age group; but then again, I'm sure I'm not the only guy that appreciates grumpy and stubborn but (dainty underneath .) I'm not quite sure where you got the idea that I walk around all day glowering. Ok, sometimes I DO imagine I'm a noble walking around 19th century St. Petersburg ...
redhighheels Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Meh, maybe, but being approachable is overrated anyway . I give off the same vibe, but every once in a while along comes a girl that appreciates it . (My gf has specifically told me that my stern look gives her the hotts ). Conversely, I can totally appreciate an angry young girl, Dostoyevsky style . Oh, I wasn't complaing! I mean, it works out just fine for me since I'm just as antisocial as I used to be. Well, maybe not to that extent, but when I'm out and about I just want to be left alone with my thoughts. Figured it might be the case of the OP. There are plenty of reasons why young and hot women don't get approached. Here we go: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t199383/ ..perfect timing too Dostoyevsky The avatar..that's Emmanuelle Beart, right ?
Green Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I have insomnia tonight... is that a yellow flag. Sure its a flag of sorts. But its not a deal breaker, and people really won't know you never had a relationship before. Have you been trying online dating? I personaly think the quality of people you will meet are lower because it adds an extra step of having to talk to people online, then meet them in person... but you could meet some one just as good as real life who you would have never met.
Woggle Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 It would be a reason to pause but I would get to know her further. It would depend on the reason. If it was because she thought no men were good enough for her or she hated men in general then I would move on but if she was just too busy building up other aspects of her life I would give her a chance.
EddieN Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 You must be ugly. Or fat. Or both. Young women your age (18-25) are at the peak of their beauty and get asked out by boys, young men, old men, perverts, sex offenders, virgins, every jack and his uncle... The only thing I know about Isolde is that: 1) The avatar is not her. 2) She's 23. 3) She has never been in a R. 4) She is never asked out by any guys. Given the above 4 facts, even Mr. Spock cannot argue with my logic. It seems to me that you, Sam Spade, has access to more pieces of information. A picture perhaps? Please enlighten us. I've seen her picture as well, and she is very far from ugly or fat. I remember thinking that if I saw that girl somewhere, I'd be thinking of a way to talk to her. The norm seems to be to have a relationship in your teens or very early 20's. I'm young as well (a bit younger that Isolde) and I've never have a relationship or been steady with any girl. Of course I'm a guy, so that's a bit different. Still, I think there are people who are perfectly fine and attractive who seem to catch their wave later than others. One of my brother's friends didn't have sex until he was 27. He was a handsome stock broker who was a fun guy to be around. Logically, it sounds absurd that he wouldn't have anything with a woman until 27...but it happened. I've had my opportunities, but they didn't interest me much, so I let them go. Some of them were very pretty girls too...I just didn't click with them and wasn't going to have flings with them or just use them for sex. I guess you can call me picky compared to most guys. Based on some of Isolde's threads, I'd guess she's pretty picky too, which definitely is a factor. Isolde, you sometimes tell me to stop worrying...well, take your own advice! I have no idea but perhaps your questioning of whether you're normal or your analysis gives off a certain vibe that guys read as a "stay away" vibe. From my experience, I would have trouble approaching a girl with that kind of vibe. You have to understand how easy it is to misread someone for not wanting to talk with you. And while some guys said the opposite already, not having a relationship yet in her life would never be a yellow, orange, or red flag to me, because I'm the same way. I know that there's nothing wrong with me and that I've just had some bad luck, among other factors, so I would think the same of her if she seemed like a decent girl.
Cora Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Jeeze, after reading this thread I feel like such an outcast. I am 26 going on 27 and have NEVER had a REAL relationship. I have ever only dated which wasn't much at all! I started out late. My first ever date wasn't until I was 25. I guess guys should see those yellow flags (well in my case red flags) when they meet me. In my case I know what the reasons are. I am extremely shy and have self esteem issues. Guys don't normally flock to that so I have a very difficult time even finding a date. I'm afraid if I don't conquer my problems soon, I could be single for a very long time.
Vet Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 The only thing I know about Isolde is that: 1) The avatar is not her. 2) She's 23. 3) She has never been in a R. 4) She is never asked out by any guys. Given the above 4 facts, even Mr. Spock cannot argue with my logic. It seems to me that you, Sam Spade, has access to more pieces of information. A picture perhaps? Please enlighten us. Me thinks you don't understand logic. I find it funny that you're talking down to this woman (based on your perceived looks of her), but the second that you find out that any one of them on here is reasonably attractive (or really even posts a picture), you're all over them like white on rice. I've seen you do it in a couple of threads here. Are you that desperate or are you just that creepy?
MadDriver Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Me thinks you don't understand logic. I find it funny that you're talking down to this woman (based on your perceived looks of her), but the second that you find out that any one of them on here is reasonably attractive (or really even posts a picture), you're all over them like white on rice. I've seen you do it in a couple of threads here. Are you that desperate or are you just that creepy? Vet, I'm engaged. I think someone is projecting their feelings...
001bh Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Yeah don't panic, oh and don't forget to bring a towel
utterer of lies Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Self explanatory. 17? 18? Sorry. But it doesn't really matter, if the chemistry is ok, most men are able to forgive a lot
utterer of lies Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 It's mostly an asset, I agree, but there are things about it that aren't. For example, I feel the ideas in my head about relationships simply aren't backed up by empirical experience. Also, I feel like I'm "behind" and have matured in every way, excepting this one aspect. Bullsh*t. It is definitively a strong minus.
001bh Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 well my first real relationship was with a girl who had never dated before, she was real shy and introverted. Didn't really like going out and partying and didn't like loud music. I felt that I could give her a chance. Turns out she was really awesome and I really really loved her. Only downside was that she had severe insomnia so we could never sleep together, (this didn't bother me until a few years went by.) She was allergic to gluten and lactose, (also not an issue as I would cook her mostly asian fusion cuisine which was gluten free and we never had anything with lactose in it.) And she needed a lot of "alone" time and frequently talked to herself. It got to the point where she only wanted hang out with me a couple times a week. I kept making time for her and trying make her feel special but then she just broke up with me after year 3. In hind sight I think she was probably more of a red flag. Sometimes I feel like I had wasted my time with a cold,hard, selfish, introverted, weird-ass bitch! So yeah be careful next time you meet a girl who's not experienced and has quirky tendencies.
001bh Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Not that there's anything wrong with it Isolde. I just didn't have a positive experience.
dreamergrl Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I - you're 23, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'd try to continue to date, and let things happen naturally. Are you trying to put yourself out there?
Vet Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Vet, I'm engaged. I think someone is projecting their feelings... I'd think you'd have more respect for your future wife then.
love_confusion Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I'm in my late 20s have have very little experience with relationships. My first real one was about a year ago. I don't know that the guys I've been with have been scared off by it. In fact, most of the guys I've gone out on dates with have been in LTRs and one had been married before. In all honesty, those guys seemed to be more clueless about relationships than me.
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