BW007 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 In the last 2 weeks I have found out that my ex is pregnant from her new BF and has apparently lived a block and a half from me for months now. I really was starting to deal with the breakup better after a terrible 4 and 1/2 months but this feels like day 5 or something all over again. It is bothering me on a couple different levels.... 1.She has lived there for all that time and , and , and... I don't know, I guess I wish she would have reached out to me or something and the proximity makes me feel that much less important. I know, I know...we are nothing to each other now...but that just still sucks.I certainly haven't achieved indifference towards her yet. 2. It has invaded my space, comfort zone big time, whatever you want to call it and I just can't help looking down the block on my way to work and just wondering, wishing things hadn't blown apart . It is a free country, but it just doesn't make sense. It is so blatantly in my face! and another thing that is bothering me is that now I believe she went directly from my house to his house when she was cheating on me in the relationship. That crap has makes me feel like such a worthless person, unvalued, just nada. I am so tired of this, I really thought I was getting there. Should I move? I can't really afford it.
sickdog55 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Hey man im almost goin through the same thing, check out my post on my story, stay strong just ignore the bitch and try and find someone else....
sickdog55 Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 yeah my ex lives like the next street over from me, i dont think i said that part
Author BW007 Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 How would you deal with this if it was you? I suppose there is nothing to really do about it but suck it up and quitbitchin.
Dlyrica Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Wow that really blows! I'm so sorry! I hope things get better for you
vivrantflo Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 My dude, Your situation is quite messed up, and I feel your pain. Not all is horrible though. Yes, it may hurt that your ex, whom you're not fully over, is pregnant for some other dude. But man, she cheated on you. That's the most disrespectful thing you can do to a partner, and she did that to you. She has shown you what kind of person she is. And this other dude, is now permanently tied to a cheater, for the rest of his life. As much as you're in pain, count your blessings. Live your life, go on dates, and you will find a woman that's worthy of your love, and will be true to you. When you have a family, you'll know that your family is based on love and trust, with a firm foundation. Your ex's family is based on deceit, secrecy, and lies. You will definately come out on top!
CaliGuy Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 How would you deal with this if it was you? I suppose there is nothing to really do about it but suck it up and quitbitchin. I dunno. Personally, the second I found out she was preggo from another guy I would simply write her off for good (if you were thinking about trying to reconcile). I think what helps me move on the easiest from an ex is seeing them for who they really are and KNOWING FOR A FACT: I can (and will) do better
broken_promises Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Ugh, the ex before my current ex moved five minutes away from me with the new girl that she had been wooing at work. It was awful. I feel for you. I guess the moving is up to you... my ex eventually did move away, but wouldn't have except things changed for her work-wise. So, if you think you won't be able to move on knowing where she is living, I say do what you need to do to preserve your own sanity.
Phateless Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Do you rent or own? When I broke up with my ex a few years ago we lived in a tiny college town and it killed me to know that wherever I was in town she was only a 5 minute drive away. Over time I learned to put her out of my head and stop looking over my shoulder. The crazy thing is that I never once ran into her. I saw her driving once and it was strange. Thankfully, she didn't see me. If you can afford to move, I say do it. Your mental health is worth any price.
Author BW007 Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 No I am not thinking reconciliation...She is a big cheating cowardly liar. I do wish she had never done this and still loved me as much as I loved her though. I want to be ok. Reconciliation is so rare and actually we already had one once. All this crap did so much damage to me that 5 months on I feel like a shell of who I was. I am lonely and sick of it and I don't trust myself to have a good relationship anymore. Every time I think I am on the right track in my love life it blows up in my face. More than a learning experience, this crap keeps getting worse. She moved from another town to a block away because that was the best decision for her? WTF?????
CaliGuy Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 No I am not thinking reconciliation...She is a big cheating cowardly liar. I do wish she had never done this and still loved me as much as I loved her though. I want to be ok. Reconciliation is so rare and actually we already had one once. All this crap did so much damage to me that 5 months on I feel like a shell of who I was. I am lonely and sick of it and I don't trust myself to have a good relationship anymore. Every time I think I am on the right track in my love life it blows up in my face. More than a learning experience, this crap keeps getting worse. She moved from another town to a block away because that was the best decision for her? WTF????? Well, don't think for a minute that she did it to rub it in your face. If she did, that just tell you what a gigantic POS she is. If I were you and could move, I would simply just move. The thing is, when you're down and out like this, only YOU can pick yourself back up. You need to hang out with friends. Get out of the house. Join a softball league or something. Go hiking, mountainbiking, etc. Pick up a lot of new hobbies. Occupy your brain with so many fun and new things that you don't have time to think about her. You don't need her, you want her. But -- you should never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option. Get to the gym. Work out HARD and OFTEN too. It'll help stave off depression and the good thing is, you'll be look suave. See what I mean? We've all been there. You can choose to take control over the one thing in life you DO control (yourself) or you can let some bimbo take control over your life by keeping you depressed. The choice is yours -- and it IS a choice.
Author BW007 Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 Ok. I am in a serious bad place tonight. This is a low point. I think I am going to have to move. She is too close and it is making me feel the loss all over again and it is making me desperate to talk to her again. This is nuts. I want to get better here, and my emotions are so damned innappropriate.
gorgio Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I have been in exactly the same situation for a while now, not to mention a recent attempt at reconciliation where she ended going back to the bf she broke up with me for. Made me feel like a fool. She broke up with me and moved 1 block from my house, insane. But guess what? I have filled my life with a million activities and am planning to move within the next couple of weeks. I suggest you move, it's the easiest way to get over someone. Have done it in the past.
Author BW007 Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 Why the hell move a block away from us.? This is awful
Phateless Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Why the hell move a block away from us.? This is awful Stay with friends for a couple of days. You're wounded right now. I remember getting over my breakup, and at 5 months I was still bleeding. Don't force yourself to be stronger than necessary right now. GTFO from that location!
Hewolf Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Man, I can relate to this. About a year and a half ago I broke up with someone who lived two blocks away from me. The worst part was that I could see the balcony of her place from the gym in my building. When I found out she got a new boyfriend, I was mortified about stepping outside my place for fear I would see her with him. That whole scenario made me feel physically ill. I thought about moving, but I like the building I was in a lot and decided I wasn't going to let her have such an impact on me that I would change my life so drastically to avoid her. As time went by, things got better. Even though she only lives two blocks away, I haven't seen her in over a year. For all I know she doesn't even live there anymore.
Eve Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 BW007. No matter how hard things may seem at the mo, things will get better. Keep focused. Take care, Eve xx
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