whimsical_memory Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I don't even know where to begin. In two hours, it will have been exactly a week since life as I knew it was turned upside down. I am struggling so hard with trying to understand why someone would kill an innocent child. This is not my first loss (lost a dear, sweet young boy last year..but that was a hit and run), but it is my first loss where someone purposely killed a child. How I wish that we could turn back time, and just change the outcome. I do believe in God, and I believe that He has a plan for everything..but I am so damned mad right now. Gah, nevermind. I dont even know where I am going with this. I guess I just want to know, when will it stop hurting? When will the time come that I can sleep without seeing that little doll lying in her coffin? At what point will my dreams finally be MY dreams again? And not instant replay of the past week?
Thaddeus Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I personally don't believe in god - at least, not a god that's even remotely interested in who we are or what we do - nor do I believe that there is fate or some over-riding plan that's all supposed to even things out in the end (call it karma, if you will). But I do believe in the words of Viktor Frankl, author of Man's Search for Meaning:The last of human freedoms - the ability to chose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. You're absolutely entitled to feel angry, frustrated, to howl at the world in impotent rage. I've done it too after the death of my first wife. She's been gone some 13 years now and there isn't a day that doesn't go by when I don't think of what was taken from me. The pain is dulled, the memories are a bit hazy but the sense of loss is as real as it was so many years ago. I don't have any answers for you, perhaps there are none. But I do know that to honor the memory of those lost doesn't lie in bitterness.
caramel c Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I don't even know where to begin. In two hours, it will have been exactly a week since life as I knew it was turned upside down. I am struggling so hard with trying to understand why someone would kill an innocent child. This is not my first loss (lost a dear, sweet young boy last year..but that was a hit and run), but it is my first loss where someone purposely killed a child. How I wish that we could turn back time, and just change the outcome. I do believe in God, and I believe that He has a plan for everything..but I am so damned mad right now. Gah, nevermind. I dont even know where I am going with this. I guess I just want to know, when will it stop hurting? When will the time come that I can sleep without seeing that little doll lying in her coffin? At what point will my dreams finally be MY dreams again? And not instant replay of the past week? I am so sorry for what you are going through. Some questions we just can't answer. With faith and love in God anything is possible, let that thought keep you going in your words and actions everyday. You will get through this. Ask him for whatever you need to help you get by.
carhill Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I guess I just want to know, when will it stop hurting? When will the time come that I can sleep without seeing that little doll lying in her coffin? At what point will my dreams finally be MY dreams again? And not instant replay of the past week? When something similar happened to us, it took about a year for the shock and pain to go away. The weapon wasn't drowning, rather a vehicle, and the perp was a young kid, but seeing our friend and her unborn child (she was 8 1/2 months pregnant when killed) in the coffin was a sight I will never forget. If I'm right about what this event was, I hope that boyfriend fries. My condolences to you for your loss...
Author whimsical_memory Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 When something similar happened to us, it took about a year for the shock and pain to go away. The weapon wasn't drowning, rather a vehicle, and the perp was a young kid, but seeing our friend and her unborn child (she was 8 1/2 months pregnant when killed) in the coffin was a sight I will never forget. If I'm right about what this event was, I hope that boyfriend fries. My condolences to you for your loss... You are right about the event. Thank you. For me, she was the child across the street, adorable and sweet. For her mama, she was her entire world. Actually, it just struck me that you even know how she was killed, so yes...you are indeed correct about what I am talking about.
Recommended Posts