Scarlett513 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I posted the beginning of this a couple days ago-its really long but I would really appreciate any input anyone might have. I'm really confused. The guy is a coworker/friend. There has always been chemistry and we hooked up a couple years ago with a not-so-good outcome where I got hurt. About a year ago we both ended relationships w/ other people and slowly restarted a friendship. He apologized and explained himself. I accepted, but I was/still am hesitant to completely buy. Anyway we started hanging out again as friends, then started hooking up (bad, I know). When it started I assumed it was strictly a booty call/fwb situation. Only problem, we never actually get to the benefits part bc he can't seem to stay hard, so we're not actually having sex, just making out and fooling around (another problem entirely). At first it was mainly when we were drinking, and clearly just physical. I was ok with a fwb situation, no strings, no feelings, no expectations, and I was happy with that. I knew what he's like from the past and I knew to keep myself distanced. But lately he's been doing thoughtful things and wants to hang out even when he knows that due to girl issues hooking up is not a possibility. He's asked me out to eat, and pursues me pretty persistently. There's even been cuddling and he'll contact me just to say hi and stuff....its all initiated by him. And I can't help it - even though I know better, I fell for it. And now my stupid feelings are involved, and I'm having panic attacks and depression. I haven't had a panic attack since my last relationship ended (it was violent and scary). I'm flipping out because I like this guy and I have no idea what to make of him....I don't know why he keeps wanting to hang out knowing that sex probably isn't going to happen. I don't know why he thinks he needs to suddenly pull out the charm when he knows it's not necessary. I'm petrified of being hurt and I want to cut and run as far away as I can. My friends keep telling me I'm too hard on guys and I don't give anyone a chance but there's something to be said for self preservation, no? Am I wrong about this guy?
boogieboy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 You got 2 things going against you. 1.) You already been burned by him 2.) You dont shyt where you eat. youre considering him because why again?
carhill Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 youre considering him because why again? LOL, because she's a woman and that's what women do? OP, what's the unfinished business with this guy? Also, why did your last relationship end?
Hkizzle Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 I think you have a tendency to get hurt pretty badly by the men you date, and you've developed a phobia of getting emotionally involved again. The guy could be acting nice to you because: 1) He's lonely and wants the company 2) He likes you You should have an totally honest conversation with him, and also tell him you were really hurt in your last relationship and now getting really scared. Tell him if he's not totally into you that the two of you should stop seeing each other because you're having feelings for him.
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