runnergal Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 WTF?? Why do grown men have to pout? You try and get close to them, they tell you that they can not give you attention you deserve and you are pushing. Which basically means, I can't be the center of universe and you need to get busy with other things! SOOOO...then you DO start hanging out with your friends more and going to the gym more and they get all FREAKING POUTY!!!!!!!!!! WTF??? Is there a balance? Ignore them? Or just kick them to the curb?? How do you treat a man who is pouting for something they basically told you to do????
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Umm... you don't hang out with little girls like that.
Gemini09 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 WTF?? Why do grown men have to pout? You try and get close to them, they tell you that they can not give you attention you deserve and you are pushing. SOOOO...then you DO start hanging out with your friends more and going to the gym more and they get all FREAKING POUTY!!!!!!!!!! WTF??? Is there a balance? Ignore them? Or just kick them to the curb?? How do you treat a man who is pouting for something they basically told you to do???? Is it possible you were coming across too clingy or something? Maybe he took it as you required too much of his attention. He said you are pushing. You then go hang out with your friends more, and go to the gym. It could be you are not giving him enough attention now, so he is "pouting". Hmm, just an idea.
Trialbyfire Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 WTF?? Why do grown men have to pout? You try and get close to them, they tell you that they can not give you attention you deserve and you are pushing. Which basically means, I can't be the center of universe and you need to get busy with other things! SOOOO...then you DO start hanging out with your friends more and going to the gym more and they get all FREAKING POUTY!!!!!!!!!! WTF??? Is there a balance? Ignore them? Or just kick them to the curb?? How do you treat a man who is pouting for something they basically told you to do???? I've had this happen before, but backwards. First, it was "I'd like to spend more time", then when I made more time for him, he felt smothered, even though I wasn't the person who kept initiating contact. Bottomline, this guy had issues and we were so not compatible... Look for a more balanced man, one who knows what he wants.
boogieboy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Ha, last time I told a girl she was pushing she bailed on me. What are you doing?
Author runnergal Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Let me clarify the "pushy" part. I totally admit that I was being a little overboard on the needy and clingy part!! That's when he started pulling away and distancing himself from me! That's when we talked. He told me that I was "a tad pushy-but it was ok" (WT???) That's when I started backing off ALOT! I didn't IM like I had been, didn't ask to spend time with him, etc etc. So, in conversation a few days later, I told him I was going to start going to the gym to take a new aerobics class..he said that it "sounded silly" and made fun of it! Then, in the past 3 weeks, I have gone out with my g-friends TWO times, yes folks TWICE!!! And both times, the following morning, his first msg to me is asking me if I had gotten my drink on the night before! I'm not a DRINKER!!! Let me make that CLEAR!! I'm not a drunk by no means!! I can't handle alot of alcohol..but that's not my point with this! My point is...when I did basically what he told me to do, he starts pouting!!!
utterer of lies Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 ...when I did basically what he told me to do, he starts pouting!!! Let him pout. Ignore him until he stops.
Gemini09 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Let me clarify the "pushy" part. I totally admit that I was being a little overboard on the needy and clingy part!! That's when he started pulling away and distancing himself from me! That's when we talked. He told me that I was "a tad pushy-but it was ok" (WT???) That's when I started backing off ALOT! I didn't IM like I had been, didn't ask to spend time with him, etc etc. So, in conversation a few days later, I told him I was going to start going to the gym to take a new aerobics class..he said that it "sounded silly" and made fun of it! Then, in the past 3 weeks, I have gone out with my g-friends TWO times, yes folks TWICE!!! And both times, the following morning, his first msg to me is asking me if I had gotten my drink on the night before! I'm not a DRINKER!!! Let me make that CLEAR!! I'm not a drunk by no means!! I can't handle alot of alcohol..but that's not my point with this! My point is...when I did basically what he told me to do, he starts pouting!!! Ok, well besides him not liking the pushy part, it appears he could be a little controlling as well. He doesn't want you to come on too strong, and smother him, but he doesn't like you going out with other people. Uh. He is messaging you asking if you got your drink on? Grow up, seriously. Also, sounds like a good example of how someone becomes more attractive once they are less available. You are out doing more things and he suddenly becomes more interested. That is so typical.
Author runnergal Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Gemini, I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!! WTH?? We're both 36! I just don't get it!! He goes out with his buddies once a week and I don't say a WORD!! He's even stood me up because a friend of his came over at the last minute and they started drinking and he got too drunk to even text me to tell me he wasn't able to make it!!! And then him and the guys went to the beach for a weekend road trip and stayed drunk the whole weekend!!! And he's asking MEEEE if I got my drink on the night before????? Ain't that the pot calling the kettle black???? And I totally agree with you about the once I start doing things, he gets jealous...he TRIES to act like he's not mad, pouty or jealous...but I can READ right through BS!!!!
Author runnergal Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 Ok, well besides him not liking the pushy part, it appears he could be a little controlling as well. He doesn't want you to come on too strong, and smother him, but he doesn't like you going out with other people. Uh. He is messaging you asking if you got your drink on? Grow up, seriously. Also, sounds like a good example of how someone becomes more attractive once they are less available. You are out doing more things and he suddenly becomes more interested. That is so typical. And let me clear the last paragraph up,,,I've made myself MORE than available to him!! He's had MANY opportunities to spend time with me and he always has something else to do!!
Gemini09 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 And let me clear the last paragraph up,,,I've made myself MORE than available to him!! He's had MANY opportunities to spend time with me and he always has something else to do!! I don't know. It sounds like a bunch of immature games to me. I would sit down and have a good talk about it, and see what he says. If things don't change, then its not worth it.
redhighheels Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Let him pout. Ignore him until he stops. Yeap, pretty much. When he behaves like a child, leave him alone and go do your own thing. If his behaviour isn't rewarded and he can't manage to get a reaction from you, he'll stop doing it eventually. Simple conditioning.
You'reasian Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 WTF?? Why do grown men have to pout? You try and get close to them, they tell you that they can not give you attention you deserve and you are pushing. Which basically means, I can't be the center of universe and you need to get busy with other things! SOOOO...then you DO start hanging out with your friends more and going to the gym more and they get all FREAKING POUTY!!!!!!!!!! WTF??? Is there a balance? Ignore them? Or just kick them to the curb?? How do you treat a man who is pouting for something they basically told you to do???? Kick em to the curb.
sumdude Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 And he's asking MEEEE if I got my drink on the night before????? Ain't that the pot calling the kettle black???? What he's really thinking is did you go out, catch a buzz, get hit on by some guys and flirt with them or maybe more.
Author runnergal Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 But what baffles me is that we went from dating for 2 months to fwb for a month now cause he said he couldn't commit or be in a relationship with anyone right now because of some stress he's dealing with now. He's the one who keeps push-pulling away! I feel like I'm the only one putting forth an effort! Its like that was his way of slowing things down instead of just telling me..make sense?? Or what yall think? He just confuses the hell out of me! He's a capricorn and I'm scorpio.
You'reasian Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 But what baffles me is that we went from dating for 2 months to fwb for a month now cause he said he couldn't commit or be in a relationship with anyone right now because of some stress he's dealing with now. He's the one who keeps push-pulling away! I feel like I'm the only one putting forth an effort! Its like that was his way of slowing things down instead of just telling me..make sense?? Or what yall think? He just confuses the hell out of me! He's a capricorn and I'm scorpio. Are these face to face conversations?
Author runnergal Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 Thanks for the responses!! These conversations are via email or messenger. For instance, I told him I was going out the other night and he said "k". The next day I messaged him telling him we both need a vacation! LOL His response was "you get your drink on last night?" WTF?? That was the first conversation we had that day and that's his response??? I've messaged him today to tell him that I feel disrespected when he doesn't respond to my messages when I KNOW that he's read them and I felt disrespected when he does that. He read it but has not responded to it 11 hours later!
Gemini09 Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 But what baffles me is that we went from dating for 2 months to fwb for a month now cause he said he couldn't commit or be in a relationship with anyone right now because of some stress he's dealing with now. He's the one who keeps push-pulling away! I feel like I'm the only one putting forth an effort! Its like that was his way of slowing things down instead of just telling me..make sense?? Or what yall think? He just confuses the hell out of me! He's a capricorn and I'm scorpio. The problem with him is, he can't commit, and he wants FWB. I think he has some issues, and the more you describe him that is made clear.
Author runnergal Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 I TOTALLY agree that he has issues! Here this whole time I've thought it was ME being PUSHY and OVERBEARING!!! I kind of did some research a few weeks ago and learned that he may be "commitment phobic". It's amazing how people like that can commit themselves to their work, hobby, children...but not to a relationship with someone who genuinely cares about them and would never intentionally harm them! So what do I do now?? I've began reading a 7 step self help book and already finished with chapter 1, which is meditation. I believe that I need to take this time that he's in his "cave" and work on me!! Any other tips or advice? Keep them coming! You all are helping me SOOOOO much through this confusing time with this CONFUSING person!
You'reasian Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Thanks for the responses!! These conversations are via email or messenger. For instance, I told him I was going out the other night and he said "k". The next day I messaged him telling him we both need a vacation! LOL His response was "you get your drink on last night?" WTF?? That was the first conversation we had that day and that's his response??? I've messaged him today to tell him that I feel disrespected when he doesn't respond to my messages when I KNOW that he's read them and I felt disrespected when he does that. He read it but has not responded to it 11 hours later! Why not meet face to face?
Author runnergal Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 I would LOVE to see him face to face!!! But I can't never seem to get him here or with me. If I said, "Let's meet for drinks after work?"...he'd probably come up with some lame excuse not to meet. Point is....I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I talk to him. I guess it's just easier to say what I have to say on instant messaging because I can "hide behind the phone". I know that we need to meet face to face and discuss these issues. But how do I get him here on those terms and what do I say??? Help me out peeps!! :-(
Author runnergal Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 Then why does he still talk to me? I haven't done "anything" with him on the FWB aspect in a while. Why still keep in touch with me? Am I asking a stupid question????
westernxer Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Then why does he still talk to me? Doesn't matter, since you never get to see him.
Author runnergal Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 Then why the pouting when I go do other things???? And don't say "doesn't matter"! LOL
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