ewd113 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 My boyfriend and I had a major fight last night and he broke up with me. We are both 24 and living together in an apartment. It turns out, that I had caught him in a lie, and instead of fessing up about it, he got defensive and shut down. [The lie: I called him one day after work to say hello, and he didn't answer or call me back for 20 minutes, because he said he was "talking to his dad, who found out why his car was broken." At the time, I thought nothing of it, but I discovered from a mutual friend later that night that my bf's friend had actually texted/called him to talk about the bachelor party my bf went to the previous weekend. I have an issue with strippers, and my bf and I have had MANY conversations basically reassuring me that nothing would happen with him and a stripper. It's possible that he didn't want to say he ignored my call to discuss the bachelor party because it didn't want to hurt me.] Last night, my bf received a call from his father, and completely forgetting about the lie he told me, asked his father "What's wrong with the car?" It was obvious they had not talked the day before as he said he did, and I asked my bf if he had told me the truth, and when he said yes, I asked to see his cell phone for the proof. He refused to admit he had lied, which was all I was looking for. All hell broke loose, and he stopped talking to me, told me to "f*** off" and said we're broken up. Here are the complications.. We had been together for 2.5 years, and have known each other for almost 6. Our relationship has not been easy, as we both have big tempers, and when we fight, he likes to ignore me, not talk for 3 days and then never discuss what happened to just move on. When I get upset, I would prefer talking until 6 in the morning until it's all resolved. We both realize how we handle anger is not healthy, and it's something we've been working on. Honestly, I've believed that our relationship has been progressing, and slowly, we've been getting better about respecting each other's wishes when angry, and attempting to meet in the middle. I believe he is the love of my life, and I can't see myself moving on or being with someone else. I'm scared he is truly breaking up with me and we'll no longer be together. I don't know what questions to ask specifically here, because honestly, I have too many to ask. Any advice is welcomed, please.
Thornton Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 People are defensive when they have something to hide, and your bf is hiding something. You already know he went to the bachelor party, so what is it that you don't know? If nothing happened at the bachelor party, he wouldn't feel any need to hide the fact that he spoke to his friend about it... something happened at that party, and it's something he knows you won't like. If I were you I'd quiz his friends, check his phone, start doing some digging... because something fishy is going on here. In fact, cynical as I am, I'd be inclined to simply tell him that the relationship is over unless he 'fesses up (not that I'm suggesting you do that, but I don't stand for any crap nowadays).
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