redhighheels Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I read something in another thread that piqued my interest and I'm curious to figure out the relationship between a man's interest level in a woman and his willingness to pay for a date. So, gentlemen... Do you foot the bill or insist on it when you're interested in the woman? If she offers to go Dutch, do you accept only when you're not interested? If she doesn't offer, do you assume she's interested or not?
Hkizzle Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I read something in another thread that piqued my interest and I'm curious to figure out the relationship between a man's interest level in a woman and his willingness to pay for a date. So, gentlemen... Do you foot the bill or insist on it when you're interested in the woman? If she offers to go Dutch, do you accept only when you're not interested? If she doesn't offer, do you assume she's interested or not? An interesting fact is it depends where in the world you are. I was reading in Germany most women insist they go dutch. In Asia, men are definitely expected to pay. I'm been on first dates in Asia where I paid and some women didn't even say thanks. That's how much they expect it.
JoeNat Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Well, I can truly only speak for myself but I'm kind of ole fashioned if you will... I will always pay. Especially on a first date even if I'm not that intrested. It is just the right thing to do in my opinion. Same reason why I will walk her to her car if we came seperate or drive if we came together. The only time I think it is ok for her to pay is if we are already in an established relationship and it is something fairly small (a quick bite to eat, some smoothies, etc...)
xpaperxcutx Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 i normally have guys pay the bill. I have never gone dutch with a guy I'm dating, and if that happens, then I'm dumping him. LOl JK about the last part, but first dates leave big impressions on me, so if a guy pays, then I know he's worth a second date at the most.
tomtom26 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I'm old fashioned too. I always offer and insist on paying for a date. If I ask a girl out and it turns out by the end of the evening that I'm not interested, I will still pay. It's just not right splitting a bill after a first date. After my offer to pay: It would be nice for a girl to at least offer. To me that shows that she's confident and independent enough to take care of herself without a man. That's a definite turn-on. It also shows that she's considerate and caring. If she insists on paying, but lets me eventually pay, it tells me that she's somewhat interested in me too. If she insists on paying and almost forces her money/card into the bill, I get the point that she's not interested in me.
clv0116 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I read something in another thread that piqued my interest and I'm curious to figure out the relationship between a man's interest level in a woman and his willingness to pay for a date. For me they are not related. If I'm interested enough to spend my time (my most valuable resource) on a date, I'll pay. If she wants to split, fine, but I don't like fumbling with the check, leaning around to get into the light, busting out the calculator, and other such shenanigans at the table. If she wants to go dutch and have a second date, she has to have the presence of mind to ask for separate checks or accept that I'm paying this time.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I have always been of the mind that whomever does the inviting and planing of the date, pays.
CaliGuy Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Do you foot the bill or insist on it when you're interested in the woman? Interested or not, I always offer to pay -- UNLESS... If she offers to go Dutch, do you accept only when you're not interested? Nope. If she insists on going Dutch, I respect her wishes. If she doesn't offer, do you assume she's interested or not? Actually I think if she wants to go Dutch it can mean one of several things: 1. She doesn't want their to be any "expectations" (ie: You pay for dinner, you score). 2. She isn't interested. 3. She's checking to see if I will offer to pay first and then, if I do, she can choose to accept or not. 4. She's generally not interested in me. I am a chivalrous guy, but if she insists on going Dutch then so be it. I'm not going to fight her on a first date just to prove a point.
alphamale Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Do you foot the bill or insist on it when you're interested in the woman? yes If she offers to go Dutch, do you accept only when you're not interested? yes If she doesn't offer, do you assume she's interested or not? i assume she's interested since she would then be "indebted" to me...a woman who pays her own way early on in the dating game generally doesn't want to owe the man anything and therefore is probably not that interested in him
sally4sara Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I don't like men to rely on money to impress me. I'm not trying to get to know their wallet. Take away the wallet and they have to show you how they are rather than what they earn. I pay for my meals. Esp, the first date. I'm more likely to let a guy I'm fed up with buy my meal as a$^*le tax. Just consider it "the last supper".
alphamale Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I pay for my meals. how lame, why not just neuter your date instead?
sally4sara Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 how lame, why not just neuter your date instead? I watch two guys argue over who is going to pay the bill as though not paying the bill is somehow shameful and something a lesser person does while theone who paid is the better person. All I'm doing is speaking the guy language I hear and making sure we're on equal footing. I don't date guys who act like they pay with their penis. Exactly what is the exchange rate on penis these days? Is it up or down these days?
Confusedalways Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 As a female I always, always offer to pay on the first date. After they say no, I ask if they are sure and they say yes. I've never had anyone take me up on the offer, and to be honest in thinking about it I would probably be taken aback if someone did. However, some of those dates didn't turn into second ones, so I can imagine most guys paying regardless of their interest level.
Vet Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Whoever asks for the date pays the bill. I found going strict dutch to be a hassle and a half ("Sorry, could you split that check... I had the..., she had the..., ...no, I had the beer", bleh). I would much more prefer taking turns; it usually evens out. Never really had a problem.
clv0116 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Whoever asks for the date pays the bill. I found going strict dutch to be a hassle and a half ("Sorry, could you split that check... I had the..., she had the..., ...no, I had the beer", bleh). I would much more prefer taking turns; it usually evens out. Never really had a problem. Here's something I agree with completely. I don't have a problem with her paying or whatever but the mechanics of the thing have to be smooth and fuss free. Life is to short to spend it scrutinizing a food bill.
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 i normally have guys pay the bill. I have never gone dutch with a guy I'm dating, and if that happens, then I'm dumping him. LOl JK about the last part, but first dates leave big impressions on me, so if a guy pays, then I know he's worth a second date at the most. PC, you may laugh, but to us guys, going dutch is generally a sign that a girl's not interested in another date. If a girl doesn't want to feel "obligated", she'll usually say so before the bill comes. I watch two guys argue over who is going to pay the bill as though not paying the bill is somehow shameful and something a lesser person does while theone who paid is the better person. All I'm doing is speaking the guy language I hear and making sure we're on equal footing. I don't date guys who act like they pay with their penis. Exactly what is the exchange rate on penis these days? Is it up or down these days? Lots of guys hate to owe anyone, even of the other person doesn't want to be repaid. Especially if one person invited the other to dinner; it's unfair to say "hey, let me take you out to dinner" and then expect you to foot the bill, man or woman. Pay with our penis? No kidding! We can do that now? Geez, and all this time, I was being a schnook and paying for things with money. Don't I feel silly now! (By the way, the exchange rate on penis is always up...unless Oprah's on TV.)
sally4sara Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Whoever asks for the date pays the bill. I found going strict dutch to be a hassle and a half ("Sorry, could you split that check... I had the..., she had the..., ...no, I had the beer", bleh). I would much more prefer taking turns; it usually evens out. Never really had a problem. Nah, you just tell the server it is separate checks before you order.
sally4sara Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Pay with our penis? No kidding! We can do that now? Geez, and all this time, I was being a schnook and paying for things with money. Don't I feel silly now! (By the way, the exchange rate on penis is always up...unless Oprah's on TV.) Oooh! Thats my favorite kind of penis!
alphamale Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Nah, you just tell the server it is separate checks before you order. thats just silly sara thats like ordering double beds for your honeymoon night
northstar1 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 What about if you are in a relationship, do you think that the guy should still pay for the majority of meals, or take turns (assuming both have income)
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Look, if the guy doesn't pay, for any reason - it's not a date.
kizik Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 What about if you are in a relationship, do you think that the guy should still pay for the majority of meals, or take turns (assuming both have income) Why, is she breaking your bank? C'mon now buddy, don't let her spend all that money you slave for.
Vet Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Nah, you just tell the server it is separate checks before you order. I would find this to be extremely awkward, honestly.
sally4sara Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 thats just silly sara thats like ordering double beds for your honeymoon night No, we may eat at the same table but still pay for our own meals. Notice I don't make threads talking about how things didn't work out with the person I bought dinner for? Dating is a lite business and both people have just as much to prove to the other. No sense in pandering to the "look at my money! How is your vagina?" mindset. Honeymoon indeed.
northstar1 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Why, is she breaking your bank? C'mon now buddy, don't let her spend all that money you slave for. Come on man, those KFC family meals add up you know.
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